A Thought For The Weichel Boys

Everyone has heard my stories of the Weichel boys, the two crazy neighbor boys, who seemingly spend their entire summer at our house. We have gone away to find them sitting at our picnic table, awaiting our return home, riding Jake's bike, sitting on our porch, peering into our windows, searching for life inside, requesting tours of our house. They squeal (literally) when they see our car pull into the driveway. They love playing with Jacob, and although there are times when they make me crazy, I have to admit that they are good playmates for him. He enjoys their company too. He searches for them, heading outside on nice days, calling their names in hopes of a good game of "spy" or "cops and robbers."

Now that school has started, we haven't seen them as much. I assumed that it was because they had school work to do, but honestly, I have wondered where they were. My mother works with their grandfather. I went to high school with their mother. My mom stopped down for her nightly visit yesterday and said she had talked to their grandfather. Apparently their mother is gravely ill. I'm not a medical professional, so I'm going to botch the details of this at least a little. My apologies in advance. Here's the gist: a few weeks ago she started vomiting blood. They took her to the local hospital and thought that they had it under control. She came home and began vomiting blood again. She ended up going to Pittsburgh, where she needed massive amounts of blood transfusions. She had ruptured veins in her throat and stomach and also has something major wrong with her liver. She nearly died. One point, her father said they did not think that she was going to live.

My mother said that this is a disorder that is commonly associated with heavy drinking, but Dawnielle does not drink at all! Her father said numerous social workers were grilling her in the hospital to fess up to her closet drinking habits! She lives with her parents, and is a single mother. She couldn't hide her drinking problem. She doesn't have a drinking problem. They don't know what caused it. She's not out of the woods yet either. She's home right now, but not for long. She needs to go back to Pittsburgh in a few days to have some of the lesions in her stomach cauterized, and whatever is wrong with her liver still needs to be addressed. From my understanding, the veins in her throat could again rupture at any time as well. So scary. She's my age - 32. A single mom of two boys, with little help from an ex-husband who lives multiple states away.

I went to high school with Dawnielle. We were friends - not best friends, but I knew her and we talked. We were in the band together, our families knew each other. I know her now. I know her boys. I've been in her situation - living at home with my son, with little help from his father. I still am in her situation on some levels. If something happened to me, what would happen to Jacob? Peyton doesn't know Jake like my family and Greg's family does. I'm sure those thoughts go through Dawnielle's mind, and the minds of her parents - thoughts about her boys.

I'm at a loss for what to offer besides prayers. I know for certain that she and her family could use a few extra prayers right now. If you have a moment, send one up.

What Andrew Won't Be For Halloween

A few weeks ago, I got out Jacob's old Halloween costume from when he was 1. I tried it on Andrew and the above video was my result. Andrew hates anything on his head. He couldn't get the dinosaur hood off, and that made him mad. The costume was also just a tiny bit too small, and was tight in the crotch. I imagine that was uncomfortable for the little guy, too. Needless to say, I gave the outfit away, and purchased a new one for him. We can't have a screaming dinosaur going door to door! He will be trick-or-treating this year in a two-piece pumpkin outfit, complete with a detachable cap. We tried it on in the store, to be sure that he was satisfied, before purchasing it! Problem solved!

For B.

Last weekend an old coworker and dear friend informed me that one of my former special needs clients, one whom I always held near and dear to my heart passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I've been thinking of him all week, debating whether or not to write, processing his passing, grieving off and on. I've decided that he deserves to be mentioned, to be remembered. He touched not only my heart, but the hearts of many of us who worked with him, and his death leaves behind a great void.

B. was a little guy, but what he lacked in stature, he made up for in personality. He was deaf, but he signed. It was said that he could read lips, but I have my doubts as to just how well that skill was honed. He had the softest, baby fine spiked hair on the top of his head, and he constantly gave hugs - usually with the ulterior motive of getting a little grope in! He mischievous, but so endearing, that even when he was misbehaving, it was hard to be angry with him.

I have some very fun memories of B. One of the first times I took him with us on a group field trip, he came to me with his wallet, wanting to buy some food out of a vending machine. I took him over to the machine, and he handed me the wallet. Just as I was about to get the money out for him, I realized that it was MY wallet he gave me! He had gotten into my purse and gotten my wallet out to get himself a snack! I looked at him sternly and signed "no." He laughed, shook his head and signed "no" right back at me. I guess he thought he may as well try! Hey, it almost worked!

He always tried to sneak away, and always liked to snoop around in our things. He would wait for a moment when no one was looking and leave the room. Many times he left the program area and someone would call one of us to come get him. Once I just happened to go back to my room during lunch and found him rummaging through my drawers laughing, shaking his head and signing to himself "no, no, no" over and over! Exasperated, I redirected him back to the kitchen. He liked to play pranks on the other clients and tease them like they were his siblings. He would find something that he knew was particularly annoying to someone and do it over and over and over, just like a little brother would do. He would grab onto someone's ears and pull until someone else in the room would yell, "oh! Koelle! B's pulling F's ear's!" Sure enough, there he'd be with a smile ear to ear, pulling F's ears as hard as he could! But like I said, he was just always so sweet, even when he was doing something he shouldn't be doing, you couldn't be mad at him. There was never any malice in B. It was just playful curiosity, just innocence, just love.

Marsha said the last time she saw B, he gave her a hug. This wasn't a typical hug where he tried to rub his face on her chest. There was no ulterior motive. He simply gave her a sincere, heartfelt hug. I mentioned in the beginning that his death was unexpected. I truly believe that sometimes our clients, those who have limited mental capacities, have the capability to see things that we who are fully mentally aware can't see. I believe that B knew that was the last time he was going to see Marsha, and that he wanted to embrace her for the last time. It was his way of thanking her for all of the wonderful things she has done for him. Marsha is one of the most gifted women I know, especially when it comes to her interactions with the clients. She gives more to each and every one of those guys on a single day than many of the staff do in a whole year, and the clients know it. Sincerity cannot be faked.

B gave Marsha a special gift in his hug that day. He gave all of us who were blessed enough to know him a gift we can cherish for the rest of our lives. Rest in peace, my dear friend.

In Jake's Mind

Even in times of stress, Jacob still has a mind of his own. These are just a few of the thoughts I've collected over the last few weeks:

"Mom, when most people are out on a boat, and they see land, they just yell 'hey look! There's an island! But when pirates are out on a boat and they see land they yell 'LAND HOME!"
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"Mom, what does 'economy' mean?"

"Well, economy is a complicated word. It mostly means money. If the economy is good, it means the people have a lot of money to spend. People have good jobs and are making a lot of money. They are buying things, going on vacations, the stores and businesses are doing well because people are spending money. If the economy is bad, then people either have jobs that don't pay much or don't have jobs at all. People can't spend much money, so business and stores don't do well either."

He sat for a moment without saying anything. I thought I said too much. How does a 6 year old process the economy, anyway? Then he said, "well, right now MY economy is BAD. I only have 9 dollars and I can't buy anything with that!"

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Greg has been away for the last week fishing a tournament. He will be back tomorrow. We all miss him. Earlier in the week, Jacob said, "I'm glad Greg doesn't have a job when he's gone all the time. Otherwise, I wouldn't have anyone to take me fishing and make things with me and stuff like that."

"Yeah, it's nice to have Greg around, isn't it?" I said.

"Yep" he said. "I wish you had a job where you didn't have to work at all, and they paid you 30$ an hour for doing nothing!"

"Oh! Me too! I don't think there are many people who have jobs like that, though. The best thing you can do is find a job you like. What do you think you want to do?"

"I'd like to be a photographer."

"That would be a fun job. I'd like that job too! You could make good money doing that too, if you're good. You have to have good eye to be a good photographer, though."

"Oh, I have a good eye! I have an eye like a satellite! I can see from here to the moon!"

Well, that's not exactly what I meant, but I let him think it. I didn't think it was worth going to the explanation of artistic creativity. Besides, if he thinks he can be a photographer with a satellite eye, well, what's the harm in that!
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Harry Potter can apparently make any kind of potion he wants, even a "love potion." I don't watch Harry Potter, so I didn't really understand what Jacob was telling me in this particular conversation. He went on to say that you shouldn't make a potion to make people fall in love. I asked him if he knew what it meant to be in love. He said, "not really." I said, "do you know anyone who is in love?" He thought about it and he said, "well, you and Greg are in love, and Mimi and Pap."

How sweet. Yes, Greg and I are in love (I'm not so sure about Mimi and Pap!) Jacob, in due time (please not too soon), you will find out exactly what that means all for yourself.

Halloween Maddness

Halloween is Jacob's favorite holiday. Last year he asked me to decorate the house the first week of September. This year he told me I could wait until October 1, but I ended up putting some of the lights on the porch last night...

In light of his recent difficulties at school, I decided to forgo my own sanity and throw him a Halloween party at our house. He is inviting all of his kindergarten class from Harbor House as well as the entire first grade class. If they all come, (including one additional friend and two nieces) it will total 36 children and whatever parents decide to stay. I'm praying they don't all come! Everyone I have spoken to thinks that I am crazy, and I agree, but honestly, it is for Jake.

Yes, it will be a royal mess. Total chaos. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I am also hosting a Williams family Steeler party the following day at my house. However, I think it will help bridge the gap between Harbor House and Jacob's new school. It'll give him an opportunity to see some of his old friends, and to play with some of the new kids outside of school. It will also give me a chance to meet some of these kids and their parents, and see who among these children are potential friends for Jacob.

Jacob is really excited about the party. Yesterday, my mother in law offered to take the baby for a while so Jacob and I could shop and plan in peace. First, we stopped by Harbor House to get the class list of addresses. What a warm welcome we had! Jacob was able to see some of his old friends and play for a few minutes while I spoke with the one of the directors. He gave me the class list as well as a Halloween party planning book. We also spoke at length about how Jacob was adjusting, and he gave me some insight on the classroom and Jake's adjustment. I also set up a day for Jacob to spend at Harbor House during a school district in-service, which Jake was excited about.

After that we went shopping and picked out TONS of Halloween decorations. Jacob actually said, "Mom, I don't think we need any more Halloween stuff. We're LOADED!" We ate dinner at Friendly's and he got some crazy volcano ice cream sundae dessert. He looked through the Halloween Party book and picked out something on every single page! After we came home and got Andrew, we dug out the Halloween decorations from last year and put up some of the pumpkin lights. When Andrew went to bed, he helped me design his invitations on the computer.

It was a really nice evening - the first time since school started that he has been in a good mood immediately after school, and for the whole night. The party has really given him something to look forward to. I believe that the last two days at school have also been a little better. He is still bored with his school work, but he seems a little less stressed. Maybe he's less stressed because of the party planning. I hope that he's less stressed because he's getting used to school in general, and that the party is just an added benefit.

We have three weeks to plan and prepare for this party. Oh, how I wish I could drink! Somehow I doubt that would help him make friends though!

Oh, and he told Greg and I we HAVE to wear costumes! Andrew is the only one who is permitted to just wear a Halloween T shirt! I guess the French Maid costume is out too! :)

Shoe Lover

I met with my dear friend Marsha on Thursday for a quick cup of coffee on my way home from the neurologist. She told me that I should be careful with all the nice things I write about Greg, because someone might just try to steal him away from me! Haha! Well, it's true, someone might TRY to steal him away, but I know that no one would succeed. Somehow, God smiled on me, and I know that his heart belongs to me, and me alone. And as far as I know, in the last few years, only two gay men have tried to take him! He is a "hunk of a man" as one said. Sorry boys! This man is taken! :)

While Greg's shoes are hard to fill, if anyone can do it, it'll be Andrew. This boy is 100 percent Greg's son. I swear I only incubated this child. He doesn't look like me and he doesn't act like me! I can only hope that he turns out to be as wonderful as his father. If he does, some woman will be well blessed one day!

Andrew loves to wear shoes - anyone's shoes. Yesterday he put on Greg's shoes all day, because Greg's were the ones that were left lying out. He also found one pair of my boots. But he's not picky. He'll take any pair he can get!

Here are some shots from the morning and afternoon. I hope this is a little better blog than the other night. I'm feeling a little less discouraged now. I just needed some time to wallow....

...wallowing done!

Time Out

Sorry to disappoint, but there just isn't a good blog in me right now. I'm feeling completely drained. I'm just tired, sad and exhausted physically and emotionally right now.

Poor Jake is trying so hard to adjust to school. He's coping, but it's been a hard three weeks. I'm sad for him.

I had another appointment with the neurologist in Pittsburgh yesterday and wasn't given much good news. It's been hectic at work, hectic at home, etc, etc, etc.

I think everyone in this house would like to drift away and escape. So I've chosen two songs by the same artist and reenlisted my play list temporarily. Take a moment and listen.

It won't last for long. The weekend will refresh us, and I'll be back at it, making snide remarks soon, I promise!

Harbor House Woes

Everyone is probably sick of hearing how much we loved our dear Harbor House, and how much we miss it, but tough! You're about to hear more.

One day last week when I picked Jacob up from school I asked him how his day was and he said, "Well, science was a rip off!" The following day, I asked him to tell me one new thing that he learned at school and he said, "Nothing. I haven't learned anything new. We just keep doing the same things, and they're all things I already know." Now, I'm honestly not bragging, but Jacob is a bright kid. He may not be gifted, but he's smart, and I think that having been at Harbor House has given him an additional edge. He's legitimately bored with the curriculum at school right now. I looked at all of his worksheets, and it is stuff that he did last year - at the beginning of last year. No wonder he's bored!

I explained to him that it is review and they will be doing new stuff soon. His response? "How can it be review? We've been doing this for two weeks!" I said it's not review for all the kids. For some of the kids it's new. "Mom! It's not new anymore. I told you! We've been doing it for 13 days!" I'm not sure where he got 13 days, because it was actually 9 days at that point. Maybe it felt like 13 days to him. I thought about emailing the teacher, but since I already emailed her once about how he was adjusting, I decided to let it slide a little bit. I don't want to be a pain in the ass parent.

Yesterday, I decided to take the lazy way out and run through the drive through at Wendy's for dinner. It's the only fast food restaurant I can stand, and it happens to be directly across the street from Harbor House. As we drove past, I actually thought Jacob was going to injure his neck, trying to see inside the windows of his old school! "See anyone you know?" I asked.

"Nope." he replied. "Just looking. I really miss Harbor House."

"It's OK to miss Harbor House. I miss it too." That's the truth. I do really, really miss it. I miss the convenience of it, the closeness of the staff and teachers, the smallness, the ability to call in the middle of the day and say, 'hey, how's he doing?' or call mid morning and say, 'I'm running late. We'll be in around 10.' I never worried that I was intruding. I never felt I was stepping on toes or asking too much. I always felt like they loved my child the best. They loved every child the best, and every parent. I miss it...did I say that???

I tried to talk to Jake about all the benefits of his current school. There are so many kids in his neighborhood now who go to his school. At Harbor House, we didn't have that. There was even a kid in his CCD class on Sunday who is in his class at school. He never had that before either. He has a bigger school, and his cousins go there too. He has lots of gym equipment and all kinds of activities (OK, Harbor House had that. Actually, they probably had more, because they could afford more with private pay, and could do more with 2 certified teachers and only 13 students, but I didn't bring that up. I'm trying to be positive!). I came up with a list of reasons why his new school is great, then I ended with letting him know that he could look forward to going back to Harbor House in the summer for camp a few days a week. I let him know that it was OK to miss Harbor House, but that Harbor House wasn't gone from our lives forever. We need to think of the good things about Longer now. He seemed OK with it. That was yesterday.

Today when I picked him up he was grumpy again. I asked how his day was. No response at all. "What did you do today? Anything fun?"

"No."

"Did you learn anything exciting?"

"I haven't learned anything new yet."

"Did you have a science lesson?" He loves science.

"We're learning about plants. I already know about plants."

"Jacob, is there anything about this school that you like?"

"No, mom. The only thing I look forward to at this school is when we are dismissed to go home at 3:00. And today they held us over 60 minutes late and didn't dismiss us on time!"

"No they didn't. You were dismissed on time today, just like every day."

"Yes they did. I saw the clock and the hands didn't line up. They were late. They held us back."
There is no reasoning with him. Unfortunately he gets that stubbornness from me, so I know it well. I also know when to argue and when not to. I dropped the subject, and he ran ahead of me.

Now I don't know what to do. I feel terrible for him. This child always loved school. He's only in first grade and he hates it. I hate it for him, but I can't tell him that! Just thinking about it chokes me up. I can't have him start out his academic career hating it. He has a long road ahead of him and this is a heck of a way to begin! I can't blame him, though! Part of me wants to call Harbor House and get their opinion! We both adjust slowly to new situations. Poor Jacob. He has my personality. The kid is doomed. He's going to spend his life over-analyzing, worrying, guilt-ridden and obsessing over things that are half the time out of his control!

Part of the problem is that I know this teacher is dealing with 3 special needs children all of whom have adult aides, one who is severely autistic, 23 kids and 4 adults total. It's a hectic classroom. I just don't want to bug her. I don't know how much of this will subside on its own and how much of it I need to nip in the bud. I think tonight I will call my sister, who also teaches first grade and get her opinion, and pray some. That always helps. I have some other prayers I need to send up anyway!

More From The Weekend

Just some photos from the rest of the weekend. After Saturday's party, we had dinner at my in-laws on Sunday with Greg's aunt and uncle who traveled in from South Carolina to see the band play. It was my niece's 5th birthday, so my sister in law had cake. What a nice, relaxing weekend! Although I hardly saw Greg all day on Saturday, it was still so nice to be able to spend an entire two days with no work (for him) or obligations outside of family. I hope everyone had as nice as time this weekend as we did!

"Come on, Jake! I know you have a donut!"

"Sorry, Brudder! I already ate it!"

The family hanging out on Greg's parent's deck

Ed and Greg, with Joey, Greg's aunt's dog.

Kiersten blowing out her candles

Woo Hoo!

Greg's Mom read in the paper that bags of water will detract bees, so she laid out multiple baggies of water all over the porch. It became a bit of a joke. This is Greg's uncle Brand and aunt Marje, with one of the baggies. There were plenty of bees...none around the bags, though!

Greg's aunt Mary Ann and uncle Denny

Poor Evan was cold. He's a South Carolina dog and couldn't take the chilly Pennsylvania evening air!

2nd Annual Off The Wall Fall Party

The band had it's second annual fall party on Saturday. The weather was less than perfect, but it didn't rain on us, so we can't complain too much. The kids had a great time playing outside before the band got started. Last year we didn't gather outside first. It was nicer this year being able to eat and socialize with everyone before playing, so I think that will become a tradition. We had a decent turn out, not too crowded, not too few. I hope that everyone had an enjoyable time. I know the band enjoyed playing.

I've posted some pictures of the evening below:

What a sweet shot of Jacob and Brooke on the slide!

The Williams clan finishing dinner.

Jake and Kiersten bust some moves!

Perhaps Jacob was actually chasing the colored lights on the floor...a flashback from the laser pointer play from a few weeks ago!

Loretta and Kristin critique the band.

Fred's cousin Robin was our guest singer this year. Talent runs in his family. She only had two practices, and never had any professional instructions growing up. She did a great job!

Greg's parents are guaranteed dancers, wherever there's music!

Greg's aunt and uncle, Marjie and Brad, drove all the way from South Carolina to attend the party. Everyone was thrilled that they would make a special trip just for us. What a great way to show support, and a great excuse for a visit!

Betty and Gordon Farabaugh, dear family friends, dancing with some others.

Cheese, Lugene, and Fred

Lugene, our number one groupie, even had her own sweatshirt made for us. It said "Off The Wall." We can always count on Lugene to grab the tambourine and join in!

Macey had her own moves and attitude. She rocked the dance floor all night long!

Finally, a dancing crowd - Greg was thrilled!

Kathy, Cynthia, Mary Jean and some others jam to "Old Time Rock N Roll," a song that I apparently didn't know the band did! Some band member I am!!

Ed had to have a go at my "fancy camera." Generally, I don't prefer to be the subject of the photos (see previous blog!). This is Shirley and me near the end of the night, posing for Eddard!



For those of you who came, thanks so much! For those of you who were not able to attend, we missed you! We'll definitely be doing this again next year. Greg has the itch, as they say! He'd play all day long for anybody, anytime if he could. This is one "gig" that he is guaranteed to have every year, rain or shine. It's a great chance to reconnect with friends and family, in a low key, low stress, laid back atmosphere with no expectations except to kick back and have fun.

Honestly, as much as I complain about how hectic our schedules are, and how much we have to do, I have to admit that I am glad to share this experience with my family. I am blessed to have such talent at my fingertips, but the blessing goes far beyond talent. There are many people in the world who are excellent musicians. There are few people who can say that they have what our band has. Fred is not just a brother in law, he's a true friend. He and Greg have a bond that is deeper than many brothers have, let alone brother in-laws. I often watch Greg and Fred together and I actually cannot articulate the strength of their bond. It's truly amazing. In the last year, we have all watched Karissa blossom from a timid and unsure singer to a songwriter and self-assured vocalist. The future for her is wide open, and it's exciting to know that she's my niece - she's Fred and Dalann's daughter. She's not just some singer in the band. Cheese, the bass player is a good friend of Greg's who fits right in like family. Of course, we can't forget Greg, the sexiest member of the band (in my opinion, at least!) He is our spark, our excitement. He is THRILLED about everything we do. He wants to do it all, and do it all RIGHT NOW! I think there have been times when each of us has wanted to stop, but we kept it up for Greg, and we've each been grateful later that we didn't throw in the towel. He's our stamina and our adventure all wrapped up in a drummer!

You see, most bands lose a player and find a replacement. If we lost any of our members, the band would die. Fred and Greg, Karissa and even me, I suppose, are OFF THE WALL. There can be no other lead guitar and no other drummer, there are no other singers. It's just us - a miniature version of the Partridge Family, and that's just how we like it!

Worn and Weary at 32

Recently, I have lost some weight due to the headache medication that I am on. It's not a significant amount, but it's enough that I have dropped one pant size. I actually don't think it's visibly noticeable except maybe in my face. I tend to lose weight in my upper body first. Greg was home last night, so I took the opportunity to go shopping for some clothing (a chore I absolutely hate) and get a haircut (another chore I hate) without the kids.


I literally get my hair cut twice a year. Once in the spring and once in the fall. I just don't care about it. Most of the time I pull my hair up in some kind of pony tail variation, so I don't need any kind of style. Long hair requires less maintenance, and I just don't feel like wasting the time or money on my hair. I also spend little time buying clothing. I often hope that someone would nominate me for "What Not to Wear." I could use some instruction on fashion and style.


I know that I have been looking a little ragged lately. I've noticed in the few pictures I've seen of myself that I don't look my best, but honestly, I don't spend much time looking at myself. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. When I sat down in that chair and was forced to look at myself for 20 minutes, I was more or less horrified by what I saw. Granted, I had no make-up on, and had been in an our of rain all day, two factors which only added to my ugliness, but still...I was shocked at just how OLD and ragged I looked. Even 5 years ago, had I been bare faced and tired, I would not have looked this bad. I look awful. There wasn't even a hint of attractiveness under the droopy eyes and ratty hair anywhere. I just looked old, frumpy and worn. I wanted to cry. I still want to cry.


A decent night of sleep would help. A day without a headache would also help, I'm sure. Perhaps a decent haircut and some make-up would also help too! Haha! It's not about body image. This has nothing to do with my size or shape. It was just my face, plain and simple. I think I've known it for the past few months, but I've just been able to ignore it by avoiding mirrors. The fact of the matter is that I've just turned rather ugly. So much for aging gracefully...but I'm only 32!


Oh well, at least my teeth are white! Yeah, that's it! I've still got a winning smile! :) Better go brush those choppers. If I lose my teeth, I'm really in trouble!!

Sean

Just a quick update on Jackie and Sean. It's been a long time since I've written. They are doing very well. Sean had the shunt put in his brain around a month of age and he is doing great. He's three months old now and showing few deficits at this time! He is tracking objects with both eyes, smiling and cooing, and passed his hearing test! He can even roll to one side on his own! He has trouble controlling his head, and has some low muscle tone, so he is receiving physical therapy at this point. Aside from the the muscle issue, there are no other major concerns right now! Amazing! It remains to be seen what his long term prognosis will be, but for now, he truly is a miracle baby. Jackie, Dave and Sean came to visit last week, and I was able to meet this little guy for the first time. He's a beautiful little man, a tribute to God's creation, and the power of faith and prayer.

an

Danielle & Amy's Wedding

This weekend, Greg and I drove to New Jersey to attend a wedding of a dear friend of mine from college. It was a great weekend for Greg and I to get away without the boys, and a nice reunion of college friends. Unfortunately, all of our buddies weren't able to go, but fortunately, we were able to see some friends who I hadn't seen in a very long time. One friend, I hadn't seen in 9 years! We all agreed that the time between reunions was entirely too long, resolved to get together much more often.

Danielle and Amy, yes, they are a lesbian couple, are a wonderful match. They are each kind, generous, selfless, fun, and honorable women. We wish them the best start in their lives together as partners, and lifelong joy and happiness.

Danielle and her mother walk down the aisle.

Amy and her mother.

The happy couple.

They were pelted with rainbow sprinkles!

First dance

Molly and Doug

Danielle and Rachel

A serious picture

Me and Greg

Kim

Danielle and Amy were too "nice" to each other when they fed each other cake, so Danielle and I decided to smear cake on ourselves and pretend to "smash" cake in each other's faces. We took a picture with the camera Danielle and Amy left on the table, but then Greg took a picture with my camera as well. C'mon - college friends have to play pranks on each other! What are friends for?!


Greg and I drove the entire way to and from New Jersey without turning the radio on. It wasn't intentional. Actually, we didn't even notice that we did it until we were 5 minutes from returning home! We just had that much to talk about! It really was a nice time for us to reconnect. Honestly, we always have a lot to talk about. Sometimes we talk about "business," but mostly we talk about opinions, and I think being able to drive for 10 hours without a radio is a testament to our communication skills!

My mom stayed with the boys while we were gone. She frequently takes care of Jacob, but she doesn't often take care of Andrew for long stretches. Andrew is a handful. When I called to check in on Sunday, she sounded very tired. Jake had some tantrums. (yes, I meant to write Jake) and Andrew was his typical self. She said, "every time I open the refrigerator he clears out the bottom shelf before I can even get out what I need. He throws things in the garbage constantly. He pulled the pizza box off the kitchen table tonight..." Yes, I'm aware of what he does. I live it every day. He's a maniac.

Monday when I called to check in and let her know we were on our way home, she said that when she took Andrew and Jacob to her house, Andrew took a 1/2 gallon bottle of olive oil out of her cupboard and dropped it on her tile floor. It shattered. Olive oil everywhere. Not good. She left it and returned to my house.

When we pulled up to the house, she had decorated my entire front yard. There were fall decorations hung all over the porch, a flag, mums and kale on the steps, around the flag pole and scattered throughout the yard. It looks nice, but anyone who knows me, and my complete lack of gardening skills (or care) will know that I had nothing to do with it! Greg said, "Our yard looks great! We should leave more often!"

"What the hell does that me?" I said! Actually, I wasn't mad. It does look nice, and I'm appreciative. I just hope I don't forget to water them and kill them all. When I came inside I thanked her. She just said "You're welcome," a few details on the weekend and then left as quickly as she could. We didn't hear from her the rest of the night! Poor mom. Andrew did her in!

Now it's back to the grind. Tuesday is here. Labor Day is over. Summer is over. Fall is officially here...well, according to activities anyway.

It's 7 a.m. Time to get ready for work before the boys wake up. Back to the grind.

I hope everyone had an enjoyable summer. Our Off The Wall Fall Party is this weekend, so if you're in town, the party is from 2-10 at the Lions Club. Bring your own food and drink. The band will probably start playing around 6 or 630. Until that point, it'll just be picnic and games. Hope to see you there!

Still Adjusting

Well, it's been a whole week at his new school, and I think Jacob has done remarkably well. He even came out of the school on Friday without an adult! He bought his lunch three days in a row without any problems, did his homework three days without incident, and brought home and returned all of his papers without any mishaps. Woo Hoo!

On Friday, I had to be at a meeting for work very early, so Jacob spent the night at my parents house Thursday. My dad took him to school Friday morning. Jake sleeps with my mom when he stays there, and that's their time to talk. Yesterday she told me that he told her with a trembling voice and teary eyes that he missed his Harbor House friends. He missed Bob, Simon and even J.J, the class trouble maker! He told her that he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror one day and said, "Jacob, you know two people in this school. You know Maggie (the one girl who came from Harbor House as well) and you know Patrick" (a kindergartner who lives a few houses down from my mom.) Then he continued to tell her that he was worried that he would go to yet another school next year! She reassured him that he would stay at that school until he graduated from high school and went to college, and that he would not be changing again.

My heart just sank when she told me that story. I changed schools twice in elementary school. I know exactly what he is feeling. It's so scary being the new kid. He's known the Harbor House gang since he was 3, and some of them were even at the day care he attended before Harbor House. Several of them he has known since he was 3 months old - all his life! To no longer see them is a huge adjustment for him. Not only that, Harbor House is the size of the first floor of our house, and their playground is the size of our yard. His elementary school is, well, a typical elementary school. It's gigantic to him - a maze of rooms and hallways to get lost in, full of unfamiliar, albeit smiling, faces.

September is a crazy month for us. We have birthday parties to attend, Steeler parties to go to. I have work events and PTO meetings. There are a number of evening obligations that we have. It's just nuts. Our lives are always nuts. Still, I emailed one of his old friend's mothers to see if she could meet me for a play date one night in the next few weeks just for an hour. The other kids are probably experiencing the same feelings. One of the birthday parties we are going to is for a Harbor House kid, so I am hoping that a number of the other children were also invited.

I know that when Jacob is in school he is playing with the other kids. I know that he is not sitting alone, sulking or feeling so depressed that he cannot play with the other kids. That's not his style. I also know that in a few weeks, he will be familiar enough with the other kids that he will begin feeling comfortable and forming stronger friendships at his new school too. In the meantime, I hope he finds the strength to hang in there. Sometimes adults forget that it's not always so easy being a kid.

School Days, School Days...

Ah Yes, the adjustment of a new school...

Well, Jacob seems to be enjoying school, but there are indeed some growing pains. All in all, he's doing well. As I have said, he's a socially well rounded child. He gets along well with other kids, and he makes friends easily. Socialization is really the most important aspect, I think. Yes, academics are why he is there, but those will fall into place on their own. In the beginning, it is necessary for him to feel comfortable or he won't be able to learn.

There is a boy in his class, who happens to sit directly across from him, who is either deaf or autistic or has some sort of disability. The boy cannot speak and makes many loud outbursts throughout the day. The boy has an aide with him all day long. Jacob finds this extremely distracting, as I'm sure many of the other students do as well. Some of the other kids may have known the boy from the previous year. I'm sure the kids will become acclimated to the boy and his needs, as the year progresses, but right now is the first that Jacob has ever been exposed to a child with high needs. The very first day at home, Andrew started pounding some blocks on the table and Jacob plugged his ears and yelled, "No more noise! I can't take it! This boy at school yells out all day and he sits right across from me!" I do feel bad for Jake. He's feeling overstimulated by the boy's yelling. The boy can't help it, but Jake can't either. We all know what it's like to just need some quiet. The whole class has some learning and adjusting to do.

Yesterday on the drive to school, Jacob randomly said, "I think I finally figured out that bathroom confusion."
"What bathroom confusion?" I said.
"Oh, I got lost two days in a row trying to go back to my room from the bathroom. But now I know that if I just keep turning right, I will eventually get back to my room."
His classroom is directly next to the bathroom. Directly to the right. Yep. Keep turning right and you'll get there. Eventually. Oh boy.

Then there's the pick-up issue. I wrote about the first day confusion. The second day, I was literally the third mother awaiting the kids' departure from the school. Jacob, however, didn't see me when he walked out of the building, so he ran back into his classroom and had the teacher walk him out to find me. This teacher probably thinks I am such a loser! Then yesterday, the third day, he didn't even attempt to walk out on his own. He had the teacher's aide walk out with him! Good grief! He may say he isn't nervous about school, but his actions say otherwise!

On a positive note, he says he is making friends, but he can't remember anyone's names. If I didn't know better, I would swear Greg was his biological father because neither of them can remember anyone's names to save their lives, but they both think everyone is their buddy! He was thrilled with gym class yesterday because they played some game called "toilet tag." He loved using the computer lab. He even bought his lunch and used the keypad without assistance He had his number on his ID badge that they allow them to wear. I'm not sure how long they are allowed to use the ID crutch. Hopefully for a while. He was pretty impressed with the school's version of popcorn chicken. Sometimes it really doesn't take much to impress him! And he has breezed through the two homework assignments he has had so far.

Today my dad is picking him up after school because I need to work a little later in the afternoon. Of course, I had to go over the pick-up routine with my dad about 75 times because he couldn't remember it. It's really not difficult: stand in front of the main doors at 3:25. Bring a snack and a drink. Apparently that needed repeating. I'm crossing my fingers that it goes smoothly, because I think if it gets messed up today, Jacob might just be scarred for life!