Jacob's New Room

The renovations are complete, and Jacob is settling in to his attic abode quite nicely!













Lots of built in shelving for all of his things...

My mom made his quilt, it's skeletons, artifacts, fossils and things of the sort. He was going for an archaeology theme.

A Full (and rearranged) House

Jacob returned home from the beach yesterday. Of course, he had a great time while he was gone, and he even reported that he learned how to swim! I'll have to assess his skills myself before I fully accept that conclusion. Both Jacob and my mother seem to be biased when it comes to his mastery of tasks. Nonetheless, we were thrilled to have him home. It was a little too quiet around here without him.



While he was gone, I completed his bedroom. He was beyond excited to see it and eager to sleep in it last night. To make the transition a little smoother for Andrew, we moved his crib into Jacob's old room as well. Eventually, he will sleep in Jacob's old bed, but I don't think any of us is quite ready for Andrew to be out of the crib just yet. There's no rush in that area for sure!



So last night was a night of new places for both of the boys and, I'll admit, a little trepidation on my part that the transition might not go perfectly. Any fears I had were unfounded, though. Both of the boys slept soundly in their new "homes," as you can see by the photos...and today the sibling rivalry commenced within 30 minutes of them both being awake. Ah yes, the honeymoon is over and the house is back to normal!

Photos From Father's Day

My sister-in law had a big Father's Day picnic at her house on Sunday. We had great food and celebrated the men in our lives. Here are some pictures from the day...



When the ice cream man finally stopped, he hit the jackpot!

Brooke and Kiersten enjoy some ice cream.

My mother-in-law and her sister, Sandie

The whole gang.

The Williams men.

Beach Bum

This week, Jacob is enjoying a relaxing vacation at the beach with my mom's side of the family. The little bum gets two beach vacations this year! Talk about spoiled! He calls every day and reports the same itinerary to me: breakfast, beach, pool, shopping, dinner, movies, bed. It must be hard to be on such a rigorous schedule!

Jacob has been saving his money since Christmas for beach expenditures. Money truly burns a hole in his pocket. When we are on vacation and he is allowed to spend whatever money he has on whatever he wants, he goes hog wild. Sometimes I wonder if buying junk toys isn't the best aspect of vacation for him! The way I see it is this: it's his money. I don't give him any extra, and if he saved for 7 months without spending, then he's free to dispose of it as his will on vacation. BUT when the well is dry, the well is dry. It's worked pretty well in the past. This year, since he has two vacations, we split the money in half so that he'll still have some for later when we go with Greg's side of the family. Oh the stuff he will bring home...






Shark hats...








Stunning, isn't he?!

A hard day of play and shopping is best followed by a highly processed dinner of hot dogs and french fries! This is a kid's dream world! Yyyyeeeesssss!

In the meantime, while Jacob is working on his beach body, I have begun working on mine as well. I have been doing the P90X workout DVDs. Holy cow! They're hard! I'm two weeks in now and honestly I don't see any difference, but I'm sore as all get out, so they must be working. The first, upper body, workout was hard, but manageable, and when I completed it, I felt stronger. Yes, I'm sure that's just my perception because one week is hardly enough time to see noticeable differences, but I'll take what I can get! The second DVD, the lower body kicked my behind..literally! I have always hated squats and lunges and this workout is an hour of jumping, squats and lunges! OUCH!! I've given myself two days to recover, and I'm jumping (literally) back onto the bandwagon this afternoon. Thank God for Greg, who has been gracious enough to rub me down after these workouts to break up some of the lactic acid in my muscles. I'd be in much worse shape without him!

I also took the plunge and bought a tanning package. Gasp! "What," you say, "did I read that right?" Yep, that's right, I'm going to a tanning bed. I actually wince as I type it. I used to be a tanning junkie, but I quit going the year before Greg and I got married. It's been 5 years since I laid in a cancer cooking machine.

I gave up tanning for health reasons. It's SO SO bad for you, and I didn't want to age my already aging skin further. It didn't bother me that I was white as a ghost, until this year. I'm only going a few times to get a base tan before we head off to the beach ourselves. I know, even the words "base tan" are bad. I had an aunt who used to say, "tan is damaged." She was so right. Yesterday, when I got into the bed, I was struck by just how coffin-like the beds are. I've always thought that it was ironic that something which can kill you so silently, actually looks like a coffin. Even the creaking of the cover as I closed it sounded like something out of an old vampire movie. Still...it feels so good. It's a matter of pure instant gratification and vanity, certainly not good qualities, but we're all guilty of something. I'm really struggling with my body image this year, and if this short-lived exposure lifts my spirits some, then I think it is worth the price. I'm not going to become a year round tanner. It's just for a few weeks. That's my justification, and I'm sticking to it!

Father's Day Blessings

My Dad isn't the only wonderful man who has graced my life. Many of you already know the story - I was married before, got pregnant with Jacob, got divorced mid-pregnancy and moved home to live with my parents. I had fully intended to live out the rest of my life as a single mother. I saw no need for any love beyond my child and my family. I wasn't looking for a partner, but he walked into my life anyway.


I first saw Greg sometime in August of 2003. I was sitting behind the desk at Edward Jones and he was parking his gigantic gray truck across Allegheny Street, in front of Lester's Shoe Store. I watched him walk into our office, and smiled as Tina, the receptionist who was training me, first introduced us. When walked into the financial advisers office and closed the door behind him, Tina said with a not-so-subtle wink, "He'd be a great catch...Good looking, very nice, smart with his money and going through a divorce too!" I'll admit, I did find him attractive, but we were both carrying heavy baggage. I wouldn't have committed to anything more than talking at the Edward Jones office if had asked me at that time.


That's just what we did. Talk. For several months. He brought me coffee and cappuccinos from Sheetz and came in weekly to manage his accounts. We shared divorce horror stories (his topped mine tenfold!) and then parted ways in December when I found a different job. I thought about Greg, but I was busy. I worked part time, attended school full time, commuted 600 miles a week. Aside from my commute, I didn't have time to think about much of anything besides Jacob and myself. I believe Greg and I both thought that our opportunity had passed us by.


However, yet again, fate had other plans. The following summer, I randomly ran into Greg in front of his brother's house. After a brief catch-up, he said, "I can't let another 7 months go by without seeing you. Will you go out to dinner with me sometime?" How could a woman turn that down?! So we exchanged numbers and the rest is history...sort of.


What has impressed me about Greg from the very beginning is his perseverance. He never gives up on anything he believes in. Where I wanted to throw in the towel, and sometimes actually did quit, he held strong. He gave me space when I needed it, and held me close when I needed comfort. He never had to prove himself to me, but he did have to wait a while until I was ready to accept his love. When I silenced my heart, Greg listened to his.


Above and beyond all the he has done for me (and those things would be enough), he has wholeheartedly embraced my children. Greg loved Jacob as much as he loved me from the very start. He has never done anything for Jacob out of obligation, but rather out of sincere fatherly care. Just like my dad considered my sister and I his own, so does Greg treat Jacob as his own son. His love for Jacob has remained steadfast since Andrew's arrival too. With the birth of our second son, Greg simply became more of a father. Greg is the man who knows what colors his sons like best, what cereals they eat, what TV shows they watch and what their favorite pass times are. He is intentionally involved in their lives, making it a point to remain close to them as they grow, taking interest in their interests, encouraging them as they develop new skills. He is the hands-on dad that every child needs.

Greg doesn't have much time off. There are times when it seems like he works non-stop. I'll admit that sometimes it upsets me that he's not here with us all the time. Even though I know that work is inevitable, there are times when I simply miss having him here with us. We have had numerous conversations about work versus family, but I have to say this: Greg is not a father who comes home from work after a long day, screams at the kids, or retreats to his man-cave, and ignores us. He spends what free time he has with us, not at the bar or out with his buddies. He drops his work stresses at the door. Despite his exhaustion, he laughs and plays with the kids, rolls on the floor, and always greets me with a tender kiss and a smile. That's much more than I can say for myself many days. Greg lives in the moment. When he's with us, he's fully present, not thinking ahead to chores left undone or brooding over the past. He's a fun, happy and safe harbor for us all. Under his wings there can be nothing but goodness.

Sometimes when I think about Greg, I am amazed at how much I love him. I went from truly believing that no man was worth my time or energy, to the incapability of even imagining my life without him. Only Greg could have unlocked a heart as fortified as mine, and I thank God every day that he did. For me, he is the best husband in the world, and by far the best father two boys could ask for.

Cheers to the wonderful men in my life, not just on Father's Day, but every day. And salutations to all of the other great dad's, uncles, brothers and sons who brighten the lives of those around them. Happy Father's Day!

Memories Of My Dad

It is not flesh and blood, but the heart that makes us fathers and sons.

- Johann Schiller

Growing up, I resented the fact that my biological father had nothing positive to do with me. For years, I struggled to understand his motivations. I blamed myself. I blamed my mother. I even blamed God. When we drove past farms, I would silently wish on each bale of hay that he would die. His shortcomings became my anger, and I nurtured a resentment against him for many, many years. In my younger years, I didn't realize that I had everything I needed already in place. I thank God that I have grown to look beyond my disappointment in one lowly human being, and that I have since been able to recognize the true blessings bestowed upon me.



When I started college, I began referring to Terry (my mother's husband) as my "dad" just because it was easier than constantly differentiating between him and my biological father, Tom. The fact of the matter was that Terry had been more involved in my life since elementary school than Tom ever was. I rarely spoke about Tom unless it was to relay to someone just how evil I felt he was, but I had lots of "normal" dad stories to share about Terry. With that realization, I eliminated contextualizing Tom as my dad, removed him from my mind and allowed Terry's presence to fill that void instead. Initially it felt odd to change the terminology, but over time, it began to feel very natural. In retrospect, it was actually the most natural thing in the world.



In November of 2002, my uncle's father died. After the funeral, I sat at a table with some of my relatives. One of my cousins asked me if I felt like my life was lacking in any way because of Tom's absence. I didn't hesitate in my response. No. It wasn't lacking at all. I had a wonderful father sitting right beside me, a man who had more integrity than Tom could ever wish for. A man who raised two girls as his own without blinking an eye, without ever differentiating between us and his biological daughter. He attended all of our school events. He went on every vacation. He put thought into our Christmas and birthday gifts. He knew what kind of cereal we ate and what our favorite colors were. He traveled along with us to visit colleges, and later traveled to our respective colleges for more events, honors and graduations. Tom, meanwhile, didn't even know what college I attended! He once asked my sister how I liked Lebanon Valley. "Great" she said, "She loves it." (I graduated from Allegheny College in Meadville, PA) Megan didn't waste time on Tom either. He just wasn't worth it.

This year, for father's day, my sisters and I gathered some memories we had of my dad (Terry) growing up. We each wrote them down, and placed them inside a "memory" box I created for him. I'm excited to give it to him. Let me share just a few of our memories:

Megan (my biological sister) :

Biddy Basketball League... haven't score a point all year... Mike Anderson passes me the ball; I frantically search for someone (ANYONE!) to throw the ball to. No one is open... shit! I lob the ball into the air and out of pure luck, it swishes through the hoop. I turn to the stands- someone (you!) is cheering as if I just scored the winning shot in the WNBA!

Trying to rescue dozens of robin eggs, baby bunnies, stray cats, and squirrels... What other father actually made make-shift incubators?!

Going to Dave's Dream and the chef choking in the kitchen... You had to do the Heimlich. The manager said dinner was on them, and mom said to order dessert.

Christmas presents spilling out of the music room... making sand tarts... Mannheim Steamroller... Dutch Babies... bubble lights... cutting down our own Christmas trees...

Meghan (my step sister):

I remember catching newts on one of our many hikes and almost getting caught by the park ranger. I think the newts later escaped the bathtub in the basement and were reincarnated as newt jerky.

I remember many peaceful hours sitting on the boat fishing on Pickerel River. And picking blueberries.

I remember cutting Christmas trees. And baking sand tarts, and liebkuken (which I never learned how to spell), and making persimmon pudding with hard sauce, and basting ham, and ruining at least one batch cinnamon rolls when I added double the necessary amount of water.

Me:

Your stomach growled the entire time of my interview with the admissions staff at Franklin and Marshall. Instead of just ignoring it, you kept clenching your hand to your abdomen and apologizing over and over. When we left the interview, you said, “Boy, I hope my empty stomach didn’t cost you admittance.”

One spring before you and mom were married, you were at our house when my grandfather took the cover off of the pool for the first time. We were all standing on the deck, looking at the slimy green coating on the stagnant water. Mom bet you $100 that you wouldn’t jump into the sludge. You took her up on the bet and dove right in, emerging with your own special coating of slime. Gross!

You always wear a large rimmed hat, kerchief around your neck, button down shirt, long shorts, wool socks and army boots to venture onto the beach. Yeah sure, that’s typical beach attire!

During my hair-primping phase, you bought me a butane curling iron to take to the cabin in Canada, so that I could still look beautiful, even in the wilderness!

-------
Those are just a fraction of the memories we have, the moments of our childhood spent together that make us father and daughters. Today, I call Terry "Terry" when I am speaking to him, just out of habit. But I always refer to him as my dad when I talk to others. There is no question in my mind who my father is. I also no longer harbor any anger towards Tom. In fact, I feel sorry for him, because he has missed out on the opportunity to make such wonderful memories with his girls, and subsequently with his grandchildren. In the end, it makes no difference whose biology you share. It's the heart that binds us, and my sisters and I have been bound by an all encompassing, unconditional love. We couldn't ask for more.

Updates

I realized yesterday that I haven't posted an entry in over a week! What have I been up to that has kept me from my precious blogging? Well, lots of stuff, and then again, nothing much at all. I finished working for the summer (well, for the next 6 weeks anyway). Last Friday was my last day, so I have been relaxing on my lazy butt since then...Haha! If only!

We celebrated the retirement of the band's number one fan, Lugene. It was a lovely surprise party given by her husband. Our dear leader, Freddie, bought a guitar which all of the band members signed, and we presented it to her at the party. She was thrilled!

During her party, Greg also tried out his DJing skills for the first time. Our bass player was unable to commit to playing, so the band wasn't able to be there for Lugene. Feeling disappointed in ourselves for letting our number one fan down, Greg put together his own song list and played for the party. He was a hit! Perhaps this is yet another business for him to get into! (Please, no! This man has enough to do!)

In addition to the retirement party, Jacob finished first grade last week. He'll have a summer of fun and then off to second grade in the fall. Where has the time gone? Second grade! It seems like yesterday he was just starting Harbor House Preschool.

Speaking of Harbor House, Andrew had his first day at Harbor House on Monday. He did great! Of course, it is a transition for him, because he doesn't know the staff yet, but that will all come with time. They said he played well with others, participated in the activities and did well eating lunch with the kids. This made me feel great, because they did me a favor and took him under their wings several months earlier than they usually take kids. We are SO happy to be back in the comfort of Harbor House, and feel over-joyed in knowing that Andrew is securely planted where he will surely blossom over the next four years. Hooray for Harbor House!

In other news...Jacob will be moving to the attic bedroom soon, as Andrew will need to sleep in Jacob's current room when he outgrows his crib. I've been painting, moving furniture and shopping for all the necessary renovations. I hope to finish it this week and surprise Jacob with a completed room shortly. Jacob is also getting ready to go to the beach with my parents on Thursday. The lucky bum gets two vacations this summer! My dad continues to recover from his surgery, and with the exception of a few minor complications, he seems to be doing fairly well at this point. Greg's daughter, SaraBeth graduated from high school last week as well. Greg has planned a party for her this Saturday at our house. On Sunday, my sister-in-law, Dalann is hosting a father's day bash. Today, my other sister-in-law and I are taking the kids bowling. First time for Andrew...keeping my fingers crossed that no one breaks a toe!

That's the scoop for now. More to follow...when I have the chance to sit and type!






Presenting Lugene with her guitar.









DJ Jazzy Greg and his ensemble!







Andrew decided to try out some mascara. Doesn't he look pretty?

Party Central

This was the first time since Jacob's birth that Jacob and my dad didn't celebrate their birthdays together. My dad had major back surgery on Friday and is still in the hospital, so he was unable to join us for Jacob's birthday festivities. His absence was sad for us, but I bet that it was even sadder for him, penned up in the hospital. Fortunately, the surgery is believed to be a success. He had been having significant difficulties since January, and it was a much needed procedure. There will be physical therapy ahead, but for now, we are just glad to have him through the operation and on the road to recovery.

As for Jacob's celebrations, well, with a 7 year old, the show must go on! We had a party with his classmates on Friday at Slinky Action Zone. It was fun-filled mayhem at its finest! The kids were able to play in the soft play and arcade areas, as well as play laser tag and ride the bumper cars. They loved it! There were so many activities, that the two hour party period flew by in the blink of an eye. We were just getting to the cake when parents were returning to pick up their kiddos. I bet every one of those kids slept well on Friday!

On Saturday, the weather was bad, Greg was working and my parents were in Pittsburgh, so our options were limited. Then...Weichel boys to the rescue! The neighbor kids came over around 1230 and stayed most of the day, until about 8 pm. They had dinner and cake with us for a second day in a row! The three boys spent the day ransacking my game room with all of Jacob's birthday loot from the night before. It was good to have them here for Jake, and since Jacob and Andrew weren't together for most of the day, there was actually very little tantrums or screaming! Who knew I'd be happy to have 4 kids under my roof for an entire day!

My parents will be heading home tomorrow, and depending on how my dad feels, we will have yet another mini-birthday celebration with him. Then, of course, there is the family party at the beach that Jacob gets every year. That boy can never tell me his birthday went under the radar! He has more parties every year than some do in a lifetime!



An indoor/outdoor remote controlled helicopter!










All three boys were excited about the baking soda bottle rocket from Jacob's God parents.








Ooze and crystal making kit.








If this is how serious he gets with 7 candles, I hate to see what it's going to be like at 30!








The "Weichel" boys and Jake, with his birthday brownies










Jacob's kindred spirit, the only other kid in his class who doesn't leave home without his Indiana Jones hat.







Bumper cars? They look like space ships to me!









Laser tag. A huge hit!









Mmmm...popcorn smile!

7 Years

This time seven years ago (7:30 a.m.), I was finally falling asleep in my hospital room in Monroeville. I had been scheduled to deliver Jacob via C-Section at 6 in the morning, on June 5th. June 5th is also my dad's birthday, and since we were scheduling Jacob's arrival, I could think of no better day to pick. I worked my last day at Allegheny East on June 3rd, completed the remaining packing (I was moving home) and tied up all loose ends on June 4th. Peyton had returned from Florida for Jacob's birth the evening of the 4th. We went out to eat for dinner, because all I had left in my house was a bed, TV and a few plastic dishes. We came home, watched TV and planned to wake up early to head in to the hospital...but Jacob had other plans.

I woke up to find Jay Leno on the TV, and my back was killing me. I also had cramps, but attributed it to a last minute nervous stomach. Finally, after about an hour of tossing and wondering, I realized that I was actually in labor. I called the on-call doctor, who told me to go to the hospital. I then called my mom, dad and sister who were staying in Cranberry at my aunt's house that night. They were planning to meet us in the morning. I woke Peyton up, and he drove me to Forbes Regional Hospital in the middle of the night.

Cranberry is about a 40 minute drive from Monroeville, so I was at the hospital well before my family. When my mom came into the room, she leaned over me and said, "Hhhhow arrrre you?" "My God!" I said, "Have you been drinking?!" Apparently she was so nervous about the upcoming surgery and delivery of her first child, that she had drunk an entire bottle of wine herself, hoping it would help her sleep. Little did she know that two hours after falling asleep, I would call her! Luckily, my dad was sober and could drive.

It took several hours to finish the paperwork, prep me for surgery and get the room ready. Jacob was delivered at 3:04 a.m. on June 5, 2003. He was still born on Pap's birthday, even with his own agenda. It was meant to be! He weighed 7 pounds, 1 ounce and was 19.25 inches long. His APGAR scores were 9 for the first test and 10 for the second. I don't believe that I will ever forget the statistics of my children's first moments. I'm always shocked when parents say, "Oh, I think he weighed...I'm not sure..." To me, the first minutes, the first facts you know about your babies, no matter how many you have had, are very meaningful. In the long term, no, they don't amount to much, but they are still a big part of the day your child entered the world. I'm not a number person, but those are numbers that will be in my mind forever.

I remember very little of the surgery or the immediate recovery. I know that morphine effects my hearing, so everything sounded muffled to me. My parents said that when Jacob was born, he screamed so loudly, they could hear him at the other end of the hall! The recovery nurse said that he was the loudest baby she had heard in 19 years of delivering little ones! I recall wondering why everyone thought he was so loud! I know why now, of course!

Jacob and I had TONS of visitors after he was born. Of course, my parents and my sister were there every day. My aunts and cousins in Pittsburgh came to visit, along with some of my college friends who live in the area and all of my coworkers at Allegheny East. Norma even visited me twice...well, the first time was in spirit when she went to Magee Women's Hospital instead of Forbes Regional, only to find that she had traveled miles out of her way to the wrong hospital! I even got a few phone calls from parents of my clients at the day program! We felt very loved.

We were discharged on Monday, and headed back to my home town to begin our lives together. What a journey it has been so far!

There are days when I look at Jacob and I just can't believe he is so big. I'm astounded by his growth and development and I can hardly grasp where the time has gone. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was singing him a lullaby, running my fingers through his baby curls? I'm sure the next 7 years will fly by even faster, and sooner than I know it, my baby will be a grown man with a baby of his own (but not too soon, I hope!). Before my children were born, imagining my life with them was just that - imagination - not quite tangible, just a dream. Now that they are here, I can't imagine my life without them. What a blessing children bestow on us, just by simply existing!

Happy 7th Birthday, Jacob! May this year, and every year, return to you all the happiness you give to us.