A Soupy Kind Of Day

Now that the Halloween rush is over, I feel like I have a few weeks before we enter the even more chaotic Thanksgiving/Christmas activity period. Today Jacob went to Pittsburgh with my mom for more trick-or-treating with my niece, Ella. Greg is working. That leaves Andrew and I to our own devises. We chose to take it easy for a change! We took down the remaining Halloween decorations, and lounged around in our pajamas for a while. Then, I decided that a chilly fall day like today called for some of my mom's spicy corn bisque.

My mom and dad are both excellent cooks. I can follow a recipe, but I don't have the culinary intuition to just throw things together and get a decent final product. I'm glad to have them around for many reasons, but today my gratitude is focused on the recipes of theirs I have stashed away.

Like I have said before, keeping your blessings to yourself is no fun at all! So, you are all fortunate enough to stumble upon this delicious recipe today. Make it for yourselves and tell me you don't love it!

Andrew got out Jacob's Thomas the Train set this morning.

We had fun just hanging out in our PJ's, running the trains along the track. So glad I saved all of these toys!

Now, to get to the heart of what you want:

Spicy Corn Bisque

1/2 Stick butter

2 cups chopped onions

1/2 cup diced carrots

1/2 cup chopped celery

7 1/2 cups corn, thawed
1 tsp dried rosemary

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (I used 1/2 tsp. I like things with a little kick, but not terribly hot, and this is the perfect amount for my taste. You can add more or less, to taste)

6 cups chicken broth

1 cup half & half

1 red pepper, chopped

Melt 3 tbsp butter in pot over med-high heat. Add onion, celery and carrots. Saute 3-4 minutes.

Add 5 1/2 cups corn, rosemary and cayenne pepper and saute about 2 minutes.

Add chicken broth and simmer for 30 minutes uncovered.

Working in batches, puree soup in blender (cool slightly first, or lid will pop off!)

Mix in 1/2 & 1/2, remaining corn and salt and pepper to taste.

Melt remaining butter in a separate skillet and saute red pepper for 4-5 minutes. Stir into soup. Bring soup to a simmer and serve.

This is your delicious finished product!

(Monique, you can let Rob know that I put aside a container just for him!)

Winding Down

Finally, the Halloween celebrations are coming to an end and we can put this holiday to rest! On Thursday we took the kids trick-or-treating. Jacob, Brooke and Kiersten had a great time and lasted the whole 2 hours - a first for Jacob. Usually, he tires out around the one hour mark. This year, he had candy on the brain and perseverance on his side! Andrew, however, was not as strong. Strong-willed, yes, but strong stamina, no. At first, Andrew threw a fit about his costume, so he wore nothing but his regular clothing. Whatever. Then, as we started down the first street of houses, he refused to ask for treats, but then threw fits when he didn't get any. Deep breath. Then he was upset that the older kids were running ahead of him and he couldn't keep up. Poor guy. It stinks being the littlest. Then finally, he refused to hold my hand on a very busy road and entered complete melt down mode. Greg went on with the other kids, and I took Andrew home. It was just as well with me. My Halloween energy was quickly fading anyway.

Friday, I went to Jacob's school to help with recess, watch the kids' Halloween parade and then co-facilitate the Halloween party. The kids were WOUND up! But they had a great time. We played "thread the spider," a game in which you threat a spider ring tied to a string through one sleeve, across your chest and out the other, then on to the next person until the whole team is wound into a "web." It was hard for them, but they enjoyed it, and it was funny to watch too! We also played "pass the sticky eyeballs," (hot potato), and Halloween Bingo. The kids had a blast, and I did too.

Tonight is the final Halloween activity for the year, thank goodness! We are going to the local Halloween parade. It's always a huge parade, so I'm sure the kids will have a blast there too. I'm just grateful that the eerie festivities are about to end, and I can pack up the decorations and move on! How's that for originality on the gratitude scale?!?

Jacob and Ryan during snack time.

The most confused web-weaving team. We needed scissors to untangle them!

Thread the Spider.

Winners of the Scariest Costume Award. Jacob is Darth Vader.

Mrs. Paden and the boys in the class.

"Oh, Jacob! You are SO funny!"

"Hey, you three! Don't you see this bowl of candy behind you?"

Think About Thanks

It's almost November. I can't believe not only how fast the summer went, but also how quickly the fall is slipping through our fingers. I know it's cliche, but it seems to me that the days get incrementally faster as I get older. Where does the time go?

Yesterday, Andrew had his first field trip with pre-school. He was so excited to ride the big school bus, and go to the pumpkin patch! He was talking about it for a week! I have never been an over-protective parent. I try to be diligent, but I don't hover. Sometimes, I think maybe I am too lax in what I let them do. But yesterday, on the drive to pre-school, I became unnecessarily and overwhelmingly panicked about sending him on his field trip! "He's so small to ride a bus," I thought. "What if they have an accident? He'll never survive!" I pictured the school bus toppling over on that twisting back road to the tree farm, with all of the toddlers and preschoolers spilled out on the side of the road. My stomach was sick. Maybe I was having a premonition. Maybe this was God talking to me. I should keep him home.

"No," I told myself, "don't be ridiculous. He will be fine. They will have a good time, and I can't keep him from enjoying the activities with his classmates because of a bunch of 'what-ifs' running through my irrational brain." So I let him go. I dropped him off at school. I lingered a little longer when saying good bye. I kissed him three times instead of one, and I worried, and even became teary-eyed, on the drive to work.

Once I got to work, it was so busy that I was able to put it out of my mind. By 1 pm, when I knew the kids were scheduled to return and I had not gotten a phone call from the police, I was pretty sure that Andrew was still alive and well. I was right. He was fine. And he had a BLAST on his field trip. He loved the bus, the tractor-pulled hay ride, the pumpkins, everything. I'm so glad I didn't let my overactive imagination make my decisions for me.

Why was I so worried when that is not typical of me? Was it that he's the baby of the family? He's my last little one to protect and the field trip was yet another milestone he has made? Maybe that's part of it, but I don't think that is the heart of it. I believe it boils down to simple gratitude.

Ask anyone and they will tell you how often I say that my kids drive me nuts. It's often. Every day. Multiple times. Because that's the honest to God's truth. My kids drive me nuts. Truly nuts. But even amidst that chaos, I love them more than life itself. My children have taught me more about myself and the world around me than any other people on this planet. Because of them, I know what kind of person I want to be.

That's not to say I was a free-loading, self-serving, rude and reckless criminal with no conscience before I gave birth. Just that, as most parents can confirm, once I saw a set of innocent eyes looking at me for guidance, and held in my arms that little person whose life was my responsibility, I took my God-given duties and gifts a little more seriously. And that is a wonderful blessing. They have opened my heart and mind not only to my obligations to the world, but also to the simple joys that abound in my life. I try to be cognizant of my blessings every day, but some days I fall short. Yesterday, that worry about Andrew's field trip was simply a visceral realization of the magnitude of his blessing in my life. God was speaking to me - not to tell me to keep Andrew home, but rather to tell me to say thank you for my son and to be aware of God's blessings all around me. This time, I heard Him.

I've said it before; I believe that true happiness comes from a heart full of gratitude. Likewise, to experience gratitude at it's fullest, simply being aware of it is not enough. We need to express it, vocalize it, pay it forward. It's not always about the big things. Sometimes it's more important to find blessings in the small things.

November is traditionally a month of thanks. What can you do to be more thankful? My challenge is the same as last year. Spend 30 days finding at least one thing to be grateful for each day. Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of your blessings on days when you feel less than inspired. Think of little things, they add up to a life full of sweetness - good customer service, a coupon you came across right when you needed it, a parking spot right up front, not being late for work, a friend who listened to you vent... there are hundreds of opportunities each day. If you are grateful for something someone else did, tell them! Gratitude and happiness are contagious. This is an affliction you can feel free to pass along.

I will be posting some thoughts on gratitude in the upcoming days. I'll try to be original! If you have anything to share, please do! (I know I have readers out there - don't send me an email - post a comment so everyone can benefit!!!!)

In the meantime, I extend my heartfelt gratitude to all of you, because each of you, in your own unique way, has enriched my life. May God's light be upon you, and may you feel the warmth of his blessings not only now, but all year long.

Pumpkin Carving

"Why can't I carve this plastic pumpkin? Why? Why? WHY!?!"

Jacob's design.

This is the first year he has actually scooped the insides out himself. Each year prior he has refused.

It's gross work, but somebody's gotta do it!

"Ew! ' Sgusting!"

He put his hand inside it once and then wouldn't touch it again...following right along in his big brother's footsteps.

The finished products, ready for display outside.

"Hey! Mine doesn't have a candle!"

Yes, Andrew made us hollow out and then put a candle in that tiny pumpkin.

"Hey, you can't take a picture yet, the lid isn't on mine!"

"But, Andrew, if we put the lid on it, the candle will burn out. There are no holes!"

"I want a lid on it! I like fire with a lid on it!"

Andrew will argue any point...

and he's wearing Christmas pajamas to boot!

"Fine. I give up. Take the photo."

Poor Jacob is shell shocked from 10 minute jack-o-lantern conniption!

A Walk In The Park

Saturday was just so nice outside that we could not let it pass us by. In the afternoon, we bought dinner and went to a local state park for a picnic. I let the boys (I include Greg in that grouping) run around and play in the leaves after we ate. I should have been insightful enough to bring my camera. It was, after all, a beautiful fall day in central Pennsylvania. Alas, I wasn't very quick thinking, so I had to use my cell phone for photos. The quality of the shots isn't that great, but their expressions are priceless, regardless of the mechanism used to capture them! Here's hoping to another great fall day, another chance to soak in some sun and fresh air, and another opportunity to love the ones we hold most dear!

It's blurry, I know. Honestly, that's one of my pet peeves - sharing blurry photos. I considered not posting it, but sheer joy on Jacob's face can clearly be seen despite the blur. Isn't that how life is most times? How often do we have clearly defined boundaries, goals, outcomes, etc? More often than not, life is blurry. It is not a matter of black and white, but rather a series of gray areas without clearly defined edges. While that ambiguity can be frustrating, it can also be considerably freeing. It is through the ability to analyze, mold and shape our thoughts, reactions, and circumstances that we can truly recognize our blessings. The blurred lines can be our prison or our freedom. We can choose to become overwhelmed or use it as our liberation to look beyond what is immediately visible, to question what is possible and to push ourselves to be better.

Whoa...That's awfully deep for a blurry picture of a 7 year old throwing leaves! I think Greg must have spiked my coffee with something this morning! Ha! Seriously, I believe everything I wrote above, but it may also just be a long-winded way (Monique) of saying that I like the picture even though it isn't clear, so deal with it!

Look out, Greg. Ambush ahead!

"Oh yeah? Right back at 'cha, boys!"

"Mom! Andrew smells!"

"Come on, Jacob. It's just ode de'leaf, see!"

And this, my friends, is why I included Greg in "the boys" category. It is also where Andrew gets his acrobatic skills. Even at 39, this man can't walk by a tree without scaling it. At least he didn't try to fly out of it!

Halloween Partay!

Last night we had another Halloween party for Jacob. Many of his second grade classmates attended. The kids all came in costume and, from the sounds of things, I believe they had a great time. We started off with a scavenger hunt. During the day, I hid 100 spider rings, 100 gumball eyes, 27 eyeball bubble containers, 27 plastic skulls, 24 Halloween ring pops, and 27 pumpkin lolly pops in my yard! I had previously taken photos of all of the items and printed them out on cards for the kids to use as check lists. It took the kids about 15 minutes to find them all! If I had it to do over, I would have hidden them better, but it's hard to hide that much stuff very well.

After the scavenger hunt, we had pizza and ice cream cake. Then we had the kids divide into teams and wrap one person up in toilet paper to look like a mummy. The first team to use all the paper and completely cover the child won. They liked that game.

We also did a game that we did last year with boiled spaghetti noodles, gummi worms and rubber eyes. The kids were blindfolded and had to search through the spaghetti to pick out the worms and eyes. I think that was one of the grossest games, but the kids enjoyed it. Some of them also made tootsie pop ghosts - and old stand-by.

But, for the most part, they ran around like lunatics screeching, laughing and just being kids. It was a little wild at times, to say the least! The adults made it through relatively unscathed, and my house was amazingly not completely trashed, so by my measures, I would say that it was a success!

Special thanks to Monique and my mom for the TONS of help they provided during the party. I could not have done it without them! I'm very, very, very appreciative! :)

Party favors and the Guess How Many game - with candy corn. The winner got the jar of candy. Any guesses? How many do you think were inside?

"We have our eyes on you!"

As if this decoration isn't gruesome enough...for some reason, I felt like the gumball eyes staring blankly up at me made it somehow more disturbing.

My rhododendron was infested with 100 orange and black spider rings. Apparently they are indigenous to central Pennsylvania!

This hang man was able to peer through from the other side, but only for short while!

Green brain with parasitic worms and eye balls flavored the punch.

My mom spent hours (yes, literally hours - she's not so good with crafts) assembling this coffin scene to go on top of the cake. The Meadow's Frozen Custard was nice enough to decorate the cake to our specifications.

The crowd gathered for a short rest on the steps after the scavenger hunt.

Some of the TP teams were very thorough!

In the photos during the Mummy Wrap game, there are little white flecks all over! Are they spirit orbs or particles of Charmin? You decide!

"Luke, I am your father."

Kiersten was the winner of the Candy Corn Guessing game. She guessed 375. There were 420.

"Oh! So that's what I was really touching!"

This was a really gross game & the spaghetti smelled awful, but the kids loved it! Kids love to be grossed out!

Listen

I like to talk. A lot. Sometimes I can be quiet, but more often than not, I can be quite loud. I try to be nice to everyone, but I am not afraid to speak my mind. I have a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor, which I suppose can be misunderstood by those who don't know me well. I would like to think that my good friends and relatives know that if need be, I would give the shirt off of my back, even if it meant exposing my pathetic, teeny tiny, sagging bumps some people may call breasts. Oh, there's that sarcasm again...or wait, is it OK when it's self directed?

It's funny how things have a way of unraveling sometimes. This morning when I woke up, I was thinking about the above paragraph, give or take a few sentences. I was thinking about how I could stand to improve my listening skills, or how, for several years in a row, my New Years resolution to "speak more judiciously" always seemed to escape me. These are skills that I think many of us could stand to improve: listening more, speaking less. But then, I thought, you know, I'm really OK. It's not that I don't want to work on watching my mouth, per se, but more that in analyzing myself and those around me, I decided that I was comfortable with who I am...at least as far as talking goes. I am secure in my relationships. The people I love know that I love them, sarcasm and all. Honestly, if I started keeping quiet and being nice all the time, they would probably wonder what was wrong with me!

Well, you know the saying, "never get too comfortable?" Maybe that's not a saying, but you know what I mean. Just when you feel like things are going along smoothly, you are bound to hit that proverbial bump in the road. I hit that bump today. Someone misunderstood me. Or something like that. I'm deliberately leaving the details out in an attempt to exercise my ability to judiciously disclose information! See, I can be discreet!

Actually, that's what gets me. Prepare yourselves for my little rant!

I can be discreet. I do maintain confidentiality. I do uphold confidences. And most of all I am always well intended and never intentionally undermining to anyone. I suppose to the "untrained" ear, my sarcasm could be seen as criticizing or judging. It's really not. It's usually intended as comic relief in tense situations. Maybe I'm not funny. I'll give you that. But I will not give that I am ever intentionally a jerk, because I'm not. If I was a jerk, it was purely accidental, and you can rest assured that you will receive a heartfelt apology. There's a good chance that if I upset you and you didn't tell me, I don't know that you are upset. It is your responsibility to let me know what I have done. Even if I disagree, I promise that I will at least hear you out. Likewise, if I have a concern with you, I will go directly to you to address it. In my experience, I have found that by in large, most people would rather be addressed directly than find out that you have been talking about them behind their back. Please extend that same respect to me. If you have the intention of starting an argument between me and someone else just for fun, then please be forewarned, you have picked the wrong person to screw with. I don't work that way. You will not have fun. I will call you out on what you are doing, and I will not feed into word-twisting. As I have stated before, I twist enough around on my own without any help from the outside, thank you!

Whew....OK....now that I have that off of my chest...

I really think that many of us, myself included (obviously), do way too much talking and not enough listening. I woke up this morning thinking about how I could listen better. God was whispering to me, but I wasn't really listening. I ran over my own personal little road block. God spoke a little louder, but I still didn't listen. Then I came across this link on a friend's web page http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-gottlieb-phd/listening-as-an-act-of-lo_b_756388.html?ref=fb&src=sp God didn't have to yell. I heard his message without a sound.

There is a James Taylor song with the lyrics "If I had closed my mouth and opened my eyes...If I had cooled my head and warmed my heart..." I know it won't last long (it's just not my personality), but maybe just for tonight, I'll close my mouth for a spell.

A Weighty Issue

Disclaimer: As you can probably deduct from the title, this is a blog entry about weight. If you are tired of hearing about my weight issues, then stop reading now. I know that people get tired of hearing about it. Believe me, it's much more tiring living it, than it is hearing about it.

Additional disclaimer: I don't know how many times I have heard, "If you think you're fat, I would hate to know what you think about me!" While I try on many levels to be considerate of others, this is one aspect of my life where I am 100% unabashedly self-absorbed. I am not thinking about you or your weight. I am only thinking about myself. If you want to talk to me about weight, weight loss or exercise, I will gladly participate. I have a lot to say about those topics too, because I have been so completely obsessed for about 23 years now. But please don't take my eagerness in the conversation to mean that I am judging you or your appearance. I am not. I am not thinking about your thighs or how much you ate for lunch. Those obsessions are truly saved for me and me alone.

That said, we can get to the heart of the post. Me. I have said before, my issues with weight started a very, very long time ago. I bought my first pack of diet pills at the age of 12, but honestly, the mental anguish started several years before that. I'm 33 now. That's a long time to be concerned with something so trivial, really.

I think that most people who have dealt with an eating disorder or weight problems would agree that an unhealthy relationship with food is much deeper than simply learning to make good choices and exercising. Each of us has our unique issues. Some of us struggle with self esteem, some with skewed stress coping mechanisms, some strive for unattainable perfection. Whatever it is, for most of us, it isn't really about that cookie on the counter or taking a walk around the block. If only it were that easy!

I know the roots of my problems. I can trace them back to my early childhood, but really, what good does that do me now? There is nothing I hate more than hearing adults bemoan their parents for things that happened 30 years ago. I am an adult now. I am in charge of my own feelings, my own reactions, my own life. What my parents did or failed to do, in my opinion, is really a non-issue. What can I do to make things right in my world? That is the question I need to be asking.

That is indeed the question I have been asking for quite some time. I quit blaming other people a very long time ago. I am the only person who can fix my hang ups. The problem is, just how do I fix those hang ups? I never imagined that at 33 I would still be fighting the food demons. I am a grown woman. A very grown woman. I am not carded when I buy alcohol. I look at teenagers and wonder what they are thinking. I am a mother now. I mean, it's marginally OK for my son to say, "my mom thinks she's a rock star and sings in a band." It's totally not OK for him to find out that I have an eating disorder...still. Moms do not have eating disorders.

OK, so maybe I don't have a full blown eating disorder any more. But I still harbor the distorted thoughts that fed a full blown eating disorder for almost 10 years. Now, more than 10 years after my "recovery" I'm still fighting the fight, and I'm exhausted with myself. I know all the "right" tactics and I even employ them sometimes. I try to stop detrimental thoughts in their tracks and counter them with healthy statements instead. But the demons just keep creeping up on me, over and over and over. They are my personal trials,tattoos on my soul. Even when removed, the scars are still visible.

I have yet to answer my own question. What can I do to make things right in my world? I don't know. I'm still searching, and I have a sinking feeling that I will be searching for a long time to come. I just hope that I'm not 90 years old, in a nursing home, refusing to eat my mashed potatoes because they have too many carbohydrates!

Fall Party And A Steelers Game

This weekend was another busy one indeed. On Saturday morning, two of my sister-in-laws and I walked in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. I was able to raise $250.00 this year! Thanks so much to all of you who donated. Next year my goal will be $500, so be forewarned that I will be hitting you up again! Get your checkbooks ready!

Saturday afternoon, we hosted our 3rd annual Off The Wall Fall Party. This year, however, OTW didn't play. Greg and Fred wanted to spend some time visiting with all of the family and friends who travel to see us, so Greg DJed instead. We didn't have quite as many people as last year, and my personal opinion is that the lower turnout was due to the missing band. But, I also must admit that I liked it better without the band. It wasn't nearly as loud, we could hear each other and really visit, and I also enjoyed the freedom of not performing. We'll have to chat among ourselves to decide how we want to orchestrate things for next year. Nonetheless, the Williams family always knows how to have fun. The dance floor was filled with, well, generations of Williams! Even great-aunt Ruth got in on the fun!

On Sunday, my sister-in-law Dalann hosted a Steeler party. It was an extension of the reunion, with Aunt Sandie and Uncle Ed and Uncle Brad and Aunt Marjie staying the extra day for some extended bonding. The Steeler party was held during Andrew's nap time, so I stayed home with him and missed out on the family fun. That's OK with me, though, because I had a ton of catching up to do, as well as planning for the upcoming week. Jacob is having another big Halloween party this Friday with the kids from his class. We are expecting 20 kids in all, so I have lots to keep me busy between now and then. It just wouldn't be right to have a weekend with nothing to do!

Take a look at the photos below...and consider joining us next year! Same time of year, same venue...I'll be in touch with the date! And don't forget to post a comment to win the book, The Power of Half. You don't have to say something deep...just your name and that you would like the book is plenty! You know you want it...and I don't want to have no one to give it to. Where's the fun in that???

"Hey, I think I have a future in excavation!"

"Yeah, and I have a future in aviation!"

"Or maybe we could forget about the future for now and just play!"

Brad, Fred, Ryan and Ryan

"Musith, Dad! Musith!"

Niel Diamond just brings people together!

"Sweet Caroline! Good times never looked so good..."

Fred, Brad and Greg pause for a quick photo.

Sandie and Ed take a break from dancing...but just for a moment!

"A little bit softer now, a little bit softer now..."

Brooke is such a show-off!

Locomotion!

Dale Ann and Sandie gave Ed a run for his money!

Katelyn is rolling up her sleeves...taking on Pap on the dance floor is a big gamble!

Everybody can do the 'wheelchair' dance!

Gotta love a woman who can still get her groove on, no matter what her age!

Little Ryan tries to look tough, but Big Ryan knows there's really nothing left to prove!

All dressed up, tensely sending good vibes to the team!

"Now, Ryan, damn-it, eat all of your dinner or the Steelers will lose!"

"Oh my, there's a camera looming overhead!"