Purification Week 1

Seven days into the purification program and I can honestly say that I have serious mixed emotions. Is it working? Well, in many ways, yes. It is working. For one, I have had this strange issue in the back of my throat for about 10 years. I tried to doctor it with several rounds of antibiotics it when it first appeared long ago, but it never went away. It just stays there and flares up from time to time, but it doesn’t really bother me, so I just let it go. (I know. It’s gross). I looked in the mirror yesterday and it is nearly gone! Whatever the purification system is doing, it has allowed my body to heal itself, at least in my throat. I think that’s pretty amazing.


As for the headaches, well…the first 5 days I had terrible headaches, but that could have been caused by caffeine withdrawal, for one, and sleep deprivation as well. I’m not sure, but I am wondering if by cleansing my system of all the residual toxins, I thereby make myself more sensitive to the side effects of the Topamax, one of which is insomnia. I have barely slept at all since starting the regimen, much worse than even two weeks ago. Of course, two weeks ago, I was also taking some kind of sleeping aid regularly, whether it was benadryl or a prescription. I have not taken anything other than the Topamax, not even Tylenol, since starting the purification. So, I suppose the worsened insomia could also be withdrawal of another sort. The last two days, the headaches have been better. Yesterday I didn’t have any headache until later in the evening, despite being very tired, and so far today I have had none. If I continue without headaches, my goal is to get off of the prescription completely. What a dream that would be! I remain positive in my thinking that this could work.


Still, it has been a much more emotionally charged week than I anticipated. I never considered myself to be an emotional eater. In fact, when I am particularly stressed or depressed, I tend to stop eating. Therefore, I didn’t think that giving up my favorite foods would be so difficult. I was wrong. It’s not the cravings that are hard. It’s the thought that, what if it turns out that I do indeed have a sensitivity to something as common as dairy or wheat that is troubling. In some regard that would be fantastic news. It would mean no more medication, no more ill side effects, and a natural way to control my headaches. On the flip side, it would be a dietary nightmare for the rest of my life, if I end up having a sensitivity to a food base that is extremely common. Just in the last week, watching others around me eat, sitting at tables with people who are indulging in foods which before didn’t even necessarily look appealing, I have come to realize that eating isn’t always about nourishment. It’s largely social. There’s a lot to be said for getting together with friends for dinner, coffee or drinks. Not being able to order from a menu may seem small in the grand scheme of life, but it's something to contemplate. Yes, mourning the potential end of that is definitely premature, but the thought has crossed my mind more than once.


Plus, meal planning, and preparing is a lot of work. I feel like I spend much of my time either in the kitchen or thinking about what I will be doing in the kitchen. Those of you who have known me for a long time know that I while I may be able to throw a meal together now, I am hardly a culinary expert. The recipe book that the doctor’s office gave me is full of great ideas, yet it has ambiguous measurements. This is not good for someone like me. I have made several dishes that were not quite right, one of which had to be thrown away completely. When I had to toss that chicken, I felt like crying - not just because it was a waste of hormone free, antibiotic free, grass fed, free range high priced chicken, but also because the panic stricken thought of, “now what am I going to eat! I have to start all over again and figure out another meal!” immediately ran through my head. I was starving and had no dinner! Any other time I would have just boiled some noodles and thrown on some sauce, or even eaten a bowl of cereal, but hey - those are both forbidden! There’s no easy out anymore, and with so little sleep and so much energy already put into my week’s food, it was crushing. A few days later, with a little perspective, I understand that messing up a coating for chicken fingers should not cause such a reaction.


That’s where I stand right now. Plugging along, coming to terms, still hopeful, yet slightly discouraged at times, and experiencing some to-be-expected growing pains. I’m grateful for the support of my family, especially Greg who has been doing all kinds of research on his own about how to find local meats and produce, how to grow, can and freeze our own veggies next summer, what kinds of water is best, what kind of cookware is best, etc. And for putting up with my adjustments and “what if” rantings. He’s a good man all around. We’re lucky to have him…and if this works for me, I’m making him go through the program too, to get all of those power plant chemicals out of his Homer Simpson behind!