90 Years Young

On Saturday, the Williams clan traveled to the suburbs of Pittsburgh to celebrate Greg's grandfather's 90th birthday. To call it a milestone, in my opinion, is an understatement. Pap Rago has lived 90 years on this earth and as of today continues to live independently, golf regularly, exercise daily, and most importantly, shower his very large family with lots and lots of love. Robert Brault once said, "A parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided." I believe this is even more true of grandparents and great grandparents.

At the party, they had a clown visit. He was no ordinary clown. He actually memorized the storyline of Pap's life and incorporated it into his show. It was a very unique performance and and amazing way to highlight all of the things that Pap has done in his 90 years. What I liked the best about it was that it was not simply a recital of facts, but rather an incorporation of all the little things he has done and still does to make each of his kids, grandkids and great grandkids feel special. The whole party was truly a very sweet tribute to Pap, the love he has pouring out of him, and the love that the family bestows upon him.

Driving home, Greg and I talked about the party and how nice it was, but moreover how it would feel to be 90 years old. How does that feel? Greg said that he thought it would be upsetting to have a party at that age, because it would highlight the losses in your life, and also be a reminder that your own time is probably nearing an end. Maybe. I can see that, but I also see a very healthy man in Pap, one who may very well live to be 100 in perfect condition. Besides that, we never really know when our time is up. We all know that we don't have to be old to die.

For me, I don't know that it would be facing my own mortality that would bother me, but think it would be very hard knowing who was no longer there with me. Pap's oldest son Mike made the statement that "as you get older, your guest list gets shorter." I can only imagine the emotions I would feel looking around, taking pride in my legacy, but also having a bittersweet pang of loss knowing that many of the people I held closest to me throughout my life were already gone.

I also wonder how much I would look back on my life an analyze it. What should I have done differently, what did I do right? How would I feel seeing my family making the same mistakes, and what pride would I feel seeing them do so many things better than I? Would I try to continually steer them in the directions that I saw fit, or would I be content enough to let them lead their own lives?

As Paul Simon sang, "Can you imagine us years from today, sharing a park bench quietly? How terribly strange to be seventy." I suppose that's all we can do - imagine what it will feel like to be 90. As I have already seen in my 33 years on this earth (Pap and I share a birthday, by the way), no one can tell you what you will feel and how you will act. No one can prepare you for the life experiences that lie ahead. Such growth comes only from within and the personal exposure to life's ups and downs. For now, we will focus on being grateful for our current blessings, and pray that we are fortunate enough to live like Pap, the picture of health and integrity, to a ripe old age, and know first hand what it feels like to be 90 years young.