It's All Important

I said in my first post of the month that I'm grateful for the little thing that make life better, and that's 100% true.  To me, the big things are my health, the health and safety of my family, our happiness - the things that money can't buy.  Really, though, I'm able to focus on those "things" as being in the bigger picture, because I am fortunate enough not to have to worry so much about what I consider small potatoes.  There are a lot of people, however, who would rank what I deem trivial as quite consequential.  For example, if my car broke down, I would be inconvenienced until it was fixed.  I would probably complain about it (as long as it didn't happen in November!) but it's not something that I would consider life changing.  I know I have the means to fix it, and I know that my life will resume normalcy within a reasonable amount of time.  There are many people, however, who don't have the means to fix their vehicles, who don't have someone else's car to borrow in the meantime, who could lose their job because of a broken down car, who then couldn't afford to fix the car, and who could be without transportation for an indefinite amount of time.  In the long run, a broken down car could prevent someone from getting and keeping a job, from paying the rent, from feeding their family.  Now a broken down car isn't small potatoes at all.  It's pretty darn monumental.    

Part of the point of these gratitude blogs is to help me to be less selfish, to help me see the bigger picture and not become upset and complain about silly things like a broken down car.  (My car is fine.  This is just an example.)  I try to be grateful all year long, but I'm only human.  I certainly do my share of complaining. Even during my best times, there is always room for improvement.  I don't believe anyone can be too grateful.  It always amazes me how quickly I see an improvement in my own attitude when I give myself these thankfulness challenges.  It's only November 3rd.  I actually started on Oct 31st, so I've been working on my "attitude of gratitude" for four days, and I already see an improvement.  

I didn't sleep last night.  Big surprise there, right?  When I am awake in bed, tossing and turning, I get terribly frustrated.  I'm so tired.  I just want some rest, some escape, but for some reason it eludes me.  Always. Almost every morning, Greg will say, "Maybe tonight we'll sleep well."  Na.  I gave up hoping for that a long time ago.  It's just not meant to be.  To make matters worse, if I do happen to fall into a light sleep, I am frequently awakened just after I drift off.  Last night it was the cat.  Then it was Greg snoring.  Then it was this knot in my back that has been bugging me for the last few weeks.  Do you see where this is going? Complain, complain, complain!  Time to stop!

I've been doing pretty well with my 30 day challenge during waking hours.  I have had to bite my tongue a few times.  I'm aware of my words and my attitude, and I am working to change them.  But when I am half awake, that deeply ingrained habit rears its ugly head.  It's just a habit, though - complaining - and it can be broken.  This morning, before I got out of bed, while my head was still foggy and my eyes were still closed, I was able to redirect myself.  I thought about the victims of hurricane Sandy.  Some of them are sleeping in shelters.  Some of them are without heat.  Most of them are without electricity.  They lost their homes.  They can't get gas in their cars, food to eat, water to drink.  They watched their friends and family die.  And who knows when the nightmare will be over for them?  It's going to take a long, long time to rebuild and repair.  I can't fathom what they are going through, not in my wildest dreams.

With the victims of the hurricane in mind, I quit my mental yammering.  I am grateful to be sleeping in a warm, dry house.  I am grateful to have a cat that I love safe and sound in my care (even at 430 a.m. when he's playing with the hangers in my bedroom closet), because I'm sure lots of people said goodbye to their pets in the hurricane.   I'm grateful that my boys are sleeping soundly in the next rooms (I read a terrible story about  a mother who lost grip of her two young sons, ages 2 and 4, while trying to evacuate.  It's killing me to think about it.  Can you imagine watching your boys being washed away, frantically trying to save them?  Oh my God, I can't take it! That poor woman!)  I'm grateful that my husband, my best friend, my biggest supporter and the love of my life, is sleeping soundly (or should I say soundfully) beside me.  These are not little things.  These are big things, big things that we all take for granted every single day.

So, instead of bemoaning my chronic exhaustion this morning, I thanked God for my blessings and prayed for those who need Him much more than I do right now.  A few days ago, Andrew came to the computer when I was looking at some of the hurricane pictures.  He asked about what was happening, and I explained it to him in plain and simple terms.  A really bad storm caused a lot of damage.  He stared at the photos for a while, and finally said, "Mom, I know who can stop that damage.  God.  God can stop it."  God did not stop the damage.  The damage is done.  But only God can help the people in those areas find the strength and perseverance to rebuild, repair and heal.  May God be with them.

The little things and the big things are not separate.  They go hand in hand.  They are all worthy of appreciation.  Take the time to be thankful for the little things today.  You will be happier, I promise.