Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things. ~ Robert Brault
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
More From Jacob
“Well, I could use some more money, and I wish someone could send me some.”
That’s when I decided to tell him that Easter isn’t about candy and money, it’s about celebrating the rising of Christ from the dead. We talked about the crucifixion, how Jesus was tortured and endured such pain so that we could understand how much he loved us, and how Jesus rose after three days in the tomb. I asked him if he understood how special it was that Jesus was risen, to be with His Father. Jacob said he understood, but I know that a little person can only absorb so much.
After a few minutes, he looked at me and said, “You know, just because those people didn’t like Jesus and didn’t believe him doesn’t mean they should beat him up like that.” I agreed with him and tried to emphasize that the fact that He let people be so mean to him and didn’t get angry or try to stop it showed how much Jesus loved everyone, even people who did bad things. Jacob looked at me and then said, “That’s exactly why I am not going to be a burglar when I grow up.”
“Well, I think that’s a good decision.” I said. I think the boy had absorbed about as much as he could! We ended the conversation after that!
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Jacob found an egg that I had hidden for our inside Easter egg hunt last weekend. I’m sure I’ll be finding them for months to come. He was very excited, and when he opened it, he exclaimed, “All right! A three Mouseketeers!”
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Yesterday while we were eating lunch, Jacob said, “What’s the American Embassy?”
Wow. I’m sorry and ashamed to say that I don’t know what all the US Embassy does, so I gave him the best answer that I could, “It’s part of our government that helps and controls people coming into and going out of the country. It is also for US citizens who are in a foreign country and need help. It’s where people go if they want to become a US citizen too. I’m sure there are lots more things it does, but I really don’t know. Why? Where did you hear that?”
“I just made it up.”
Yeah. I don’t think he just made it up. I’m in trouble when this kid gets older. I better start doing some studying now so I don’t give him wrong information!
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Last night, Jacob took a big bite out of a giant chocolate car that he had gotten for Easter and proceeded to knock one of his lower teeth very loose. He was nervous at first, but with explanation, became very excited at the prospect of losing his first tooth. I had to laugh, though. Only my kid, the one who has had two teeth pulled for abscesses and two additional teeth filled, all before the age of 6, loosens his tooth on a chocoalte bar. Aren't kids supposed to lose their teeth in apples????
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Smarter Than You Think
That little stinker found an old TV that we don't use in a corner cupboard in our front room. He likes plugs, and this TV was basically almost sitting on the ground, and I didn't think he would be able to pull it over, so I let him play with it. I looked over at him, and he had found an outlet next to the cupboard and was trying (unsuccessfully, thank God) to plug it in! When I asked him what he was doing, he even showed me the plug! Like he was saying, "Here, I'm pluggin in the TV, see." I've seen it time and time again with kids, but it never ceases to amaze me - they know so much more than you think they do! Just by watching me here and there, probably plugging in and then unplugging the vacuum, he knew exactly what to do with that cord. This is exactly why we should never underestimate our kids.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
First Steps
Andrew has began taking a few steps last weekend and has been taking more and more steps each day since. It won't be long until he's off and running!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Our Easter
This is my sister and niece, Ella dying eggs. Ella enjoyed it until she realized that her hands were messy, and then wanted nothing to do with coloring eggs. This child should have been mine, with her aversion to messes!
Jacob, on the other hand, had no issues with mess whatsoever! He thoroughly enjoyed dying eggs, and amassed a huge pile of them. He put every egg in every color of dye, so they all ended up looking the same to me, but he was very proud of them!
This was the best Easter present ever. In fact, it brought tears to my eyes. A few days before Easter, while I was feverishly cleaning and getting ready for the holiday, Jacob asked me for a blank card. I gave it to him, but throughout the course of that evening, I probably yelled at him 20 times. He stashed away this card and gave it to me Easter morning, telling me that this is what he wanted the blank card for. How sweet. I felt like a real jerk for yelling him that day. He drew a picture of me holding a basket of eggs. Also note that he signed the card from himself and "mimi," my mother. I thought that was funny!Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter
Easter. The commemoration of Jesus’ resurrection and celebration of his reunion with God the Father. It‘s a story we all know well. “For our sake, he was crucified under Pontius Pilate, suffered died and was buried. On the third day he rose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures. He ascended into Heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.” Those are words I have said countless Sundays throughout my life. But still, as a child and even as a young adult, I never gave much thought to Easter. I always felt that Christmas was more important. It wasn’t until the birth of my first son, Jacob, that I truly began to appreciate this particular holiday.
Our focus on Easter is Jesus, His suffering for the souls of mankind and His resurrection. It is chilling and sobering to think of his torture, the agony he endured, and his faith not only in God, but in His people - us, yes, that‘s right, you and me. He loved us that much. It’s unimaginable and humbling, as it should be. However humbling these thoughts may be, I find them just beyond my complete intellectual grasp. Intangible. Incomprehensible. All I know is that I should be, and am, forever grateful for His sacrifice for me. But I don’t think I will ever be able to empathize with something so profound. It is too big for me, and so I simply bow my head in appreciation and respect.
Mary, on the other hand, is someone whose pain is more within my reach. I believe that mothers share a common bond. As mothers, we love all children, if not for the children themselves, then for the understanding we have of how strong any mother’s love for her child is. We cry for mothers who have lost their children, and during Holy Week, Good Friday and on Easter, my heart aches for Mary and how she must have felt, walking beside her son as he slowly and painfully died. Her heartache is what brings tears to my eyes as I think of Jesus carrying the cross and dying on Calvary. I feel her need to ease her son’s pain, heal his wounds, take him in her arms. Those are emotions any mother can understand.
A few days ago, the 18 year old boy who was killed at Subway in a local shooting was buried. I cry for his mother and her loss. I think often of my aunt Carmen who lost a baby at 6 weeks to SIDS and later his twin brother two years ago April 9th to another random illness. I think of the little 4 year old boy a few years back who died of meningitis, and the 8 year old who was killed by her Sunday school teacher. I suppose we take comfort in knowing that they are now with God, comforted by him, looking down on those who love them, as Mary took comfort and even rejoiced in knowing that her son had risen. Nonetheless, a mother still longs for her child, still cries. And while I rejoice with the world in Jesus’ love for us, his sacrifice and his resurrection, I still feel a pit in my stomach on Easter for Mary.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Happy Birthday, Gram
This is a picture of my grandparents. She has written on it, "Lookout, VA. Easter 1949. Ronnie and Me." On the top of the picture on the front, she wrote "windy." I have the original of this framed at my house. It's pretty ragged, which I think adds character to it, almost reflecting the windy weather they had that day. Aren't they a good-looking couple? My grandmother had striking light green eyes and beautifully wavy black hair.
This is my grandmother getting ready for her wedding. I love this shot. It's candid, and I think she looks so happy and carefree, checking her hair one last time before becoming a bride. I found this years ago in a thank you note she wrote to my great aunt Nora. She had written in the note, "thank you for the beautiful night gown. I will keep it." I thought that was funny - would she have written that she was returning it, if she didn't like it?? A Weighty Matter
3 weeks after having a C section with Andrew, I ran 3 miles on the treadmill. I had a friend's daughter come three days a week to watch the baby while I worked out, and over the summer I lost 37 pounds. I was encouraged. It was going well.
Then came the headaches. My sitter went back to school, I was exhausted and in pain most of the time, and I quit running. I continued to lose weight, though, through diet. In fact, by January, I had lost all of the baby weight. That's great, right? Well, yes and no. It's better than not having lost it, but I omitted the fact that I had put on 7 pounds between when I got married and when I got pregnant with Andrew. So I wanted to lose those 7 pounds.
I went on medication for the headaches, a side effect of which is weight gain. No problem, I thought. I'll up my exercise routine, watch what I eat and it'll be fine. I've never been one to gain weight on medication anyway.
Three months into the medication, the headaches are gone. A huge blessing, but in that time span, I have also increased my workout to 5.5 miles a day, and have been very conscious and healthful about what I am eating. I've even gotten my sweet tooth under control (mostly). As you can see from the picture here, I ran 5.16 miles on the day this was taken - a week ago - and burned 682 calories. This morning I ran 5.48 miles in 52 minutes. I should be well on the way to losing those last stubborn 7 pounds...but no. In fact, I GAINED 3 pounds last month! Unbelievable! I was so discouraged when I stepped on that scale.
The gain can only be attributed to be the medication, because short of being completely psycho, there is no way I be more diligent in my workouts and diet. I don't even remember the last day I missed running. It has to have been more than two months ago. So, I've taken a giant leap of faith (or perhaps stupidity) and decided to go off of the headache medication. I was given a PRN med that seems to alleviate the headaches when they happen, so I plan to just take that for the time being. If the headaches return with a vengeance like before, I will have no choice but to return to the pills, but for now, my weight has gotten the best of me.Let me add a clarifier here - I know that my weight is fine where it is. I know that I am fit and healthy, and those are the things that really matter. This weight issue is not a matter of vanity either. Aside from Greg, I really don't care much about what other people think I look like. (Anyone who has seen my dress, lack of hairstyle... well, let's face it, anyone who knows me, knows I'm eligible for a slot on "what not to wear" - please feel free to nominate me!!)
Also, I am in no way judging anyone else's weight. It's the same principle as my cleaning neurosis. I am obsessive about my own home, but someone else's mess doesn't bother me. It's just that I miss my old self, and this blog has no other point than for me to indulge myself in some lengthy whining, after running a hell of a long way and wondering why my behind is still jiggling. :(
Thanks for listening!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
OCD, Trust and American Idol
Like I said, this OCD is prevalent in most aspects of my life. Take grocery shopping, for instance. I go to Giant Eagle about the same time and day every week. There aren't many people grocery shopping early in the morning, and that's precisely why I shop then. Concurrently, there are always the same two or three cashiers working. After a year of this, they have come to know me, at least by face, if not by name. Last week, while I was unloading my groceries onto the belt, the cashier said, "My! You always lay everything out on the belt so nicely. Everything is grouped together so that it's so easy to pack!"
"Oh," I thought, "even the Giant Eagle ladies know I have OCD." What they don't know is that I actually have the store layout memorized. When I write my grocery list, I write it in the order of the aisles, and then pack the shopping cart in a specific manner as I shop, so that when I unload things, they are automatically nicely grouped! It goes way beyond just unloading the cart! :)
Hey, admitting the problem is half the battle, right...wait, there's no problem! I like things this way!
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Jacob and I have had several talks about lying and how it destroys trust that people have for one another. Not because of anything Jacob has done. He's told a few fibs here and there, but nothing monumental. It's actually been in response to someone else we know well. I have tried to turn some negative incidences into learning experiences for Jake. If I wondered if he was listening, the answer was given to me the other day. In the car on the way home from school, he said, "Mom, Zach lost 20% of my trust the other day. He lied to me."
I said, "He lied to you and lost 20% of your trust? What did he lie about?" I was also wondering where the 20% came from, but I was more curious about the lie itself.
"On April Fool's day, he told me and Bob that he wasn't going to say April Fool's again and then he turned around, laughed and said, 'April Fool's!' He lied."
"Well, I think he was probably just joking. That's a day when you joke one another."
"No. He lied. But J.J. gained 20% of my trust back today. That was good."
I moved along in the conversation with him. "Oh yeah? How did he gain your trust back?"
"He was nice to me all day and shared things with me at play time."
Well, I suppose he absorbed the main point of what I've been talking about. Lies and trust are pretty abstract concepts for a 5 year old. I'm just impressed that he is listening. Coming from the boy who recently visited the audiologist because I thought he may have a hearing impairment (he doesn't), I'm surprised to hear anything that I've said to him come back to me...that is, unless it is potentially incriminating, then he's all about repeating!
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Last night we all watched American Idol together like we always do. Jacob half watches the show, and half plays, but he always listens to our comments. I can't stand Paula and Greg can't stand Kara. We are always telling them to stop talking, and last night Jacob looked at me in the middle of one of their rants and said, "both of those women talk too much." He hit the nail on the head!
How often have you heard that? "Things like that just don't happen here." It's a cliche reaction of a small-towner to some horrific event, but it is also such a true portrayal of the shock one feels when big city tragedy hits home.
Two days ago a man randomly entered a Subway here, shot and killed a high school senior who was working there, shot and injured his teenage coworker, then fled the building, only to shoot another innocent man retrieving his mail. The shooter was apprehended shortly thereafter and is now in custody. Two people are dead, one critically injured. There appeared to be no explanation for the shooter's actions.
I have been thinking quite a bit about how drastically the lives of these families have been changed. How does the family of the man shot while gathering his mail come to terms with that? What about the parents of that boy? They said goodbye to their son, "have a good night at work," not knowing that they would never see him alive again - a promising young man, by all accounts of the media, now gone. What about the rest of us as a community? Are we to be worried that a simple act of stopping for a sandwich for dinner may be dangerous? Things like this don't happen here. We don't run errands with our guards up. Should we?
I'm not saying I'm going to be afraid to go out for dinner, and I know that the community as a whole will recover. The local police, fire and medical departments have done, and will continue to do a terrific job in protecting and caring for us. I'm just shocked at the event. My heart goes out to the families of the victims, and to be perfectly honest, it does make me worry for the safety of my own children.
I suppose that we take a risk every day. There's no guarantee that any of us will arrive safely at work, that our children won't be hurt at school, or that our spouses will return safely home in the evening. I remember being so worried about SIDS when both of my boys were newborn. I was so relieved when each of them passed the 9 month mark, because the risk significantly declined. I think, however, that just because they made it through infancy doesn't mean they will make it to adulthood, or that I will live to see them to adulthood. That scares me, worries me, from time to time.
Thinking too much about those risks will drive a person crazy. To maintain any semblance of normalcy, we cannot allow fear of what may be, guilt for how we should act and don't, or grief for those who have experienced great loss overrun us. It takes me back to 9/11 in many ways. The country was wrought with emotion and wracked with fear, but the message that we sent to one another as a whole was that the key to our survival was perseverance and normalcy, not bravery. You can't be constantly brave without being fearful, and fearful is no way of living.
This tragic event does not compare to 9/11 in the magnitude of lives lost or the impact on the nation, but nonetheless, these families are struggling. They have all lost someone or something very dear to them, something to which we can all relate. My thoughts and prayers go out to them right now.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sweet Tooth, Not Yet Removed
This morning on the way to school we talked about what he thought the events of the day would be tomorrow. He wasn't sure, but he wanted to know the whereabouts of those peanut butter eggs. I told him that I had given them to Mrs.Olson. He sat thoughtfully for a while, and then said, "If I win a game, I'm going to pick a non-edible prize, because for the next week I'm not eating any sugary snacks."
I said, "Easter is Sunday, Buddy. You're giving up candy now?" (Shouldn't we have done that for Lent, was what I was actually thinking, but that put too much responsibility on my shoulders, so I didn't voice that part).
"Oh, I'm not giving it up forever. Just for the week. And I'll still be able to eat dessert after dinner, like mint chocolate chip ice cream, just not candy. " (Whew! I was worried!)
"You know the surgery isn't this Wednesday, it's next Wednesday?" I said.
He smiled. "Oh, then I can have one of those peanut butter eggs this week. That's good."
I just shook my head.
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Tonight at dinner, he asked me if calories were good or bad. I explained to him that they were neither good nor bad. We need to eat to live, but if we eat too much, then we gain weight and it makes it harder for our hearts to pump blood to our bodies. I explained it like putting gas in the car, and food is our fuel. He understood, and then asked about exercising. I told him that was a great way to burn calories. We need to move our bodies, and not just sit around and watch tv and play video games, because if we don't burn the calories we eat, then we also gain weight. I talked to him about choosing healthy foods, because they are more likely to have the number and kinds of calories we need. He agreed about that too, and then said, "That's why I like to lift weights and do push-ups." He really does those things, often while I'm on the treadmill. He added, "I think I'm going to jump on the trampoline. That way I'm not just sitting and watching TV. I'm exercising while I do it!" Well, I guess that's better than just sitting there like a vegetable. It doesn't take care of the mind numbing garbage that he's watching, but...choose your battles, right?!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Scenes From the Back Yard
As I mentioned in a previous blog, Andrew loves the swing. Here Jacob is giving him a brotherly shove on the swing set at my parent's house.
And here is Andrew half asleep, lulled by the swing! Amazing! This kid sleeps NOWHERE besides his own bed, and yet he almost fell asleep in a hard plastic swing outside!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Time to Spare
I thought this was really cool. First of all, the technology of it was amazing. Then, I was amazed looking at the x-ray. Look at the metal spacer on the left hand of the screen (the thick white spot that looks like a mini frying pan) - that's where the previous abscessed tooth was. Then, look at the gum line - you can see his 6 year old molars about to poke through. They look like they're in little bubbles! Look at the middle front, bottom and top, and you can see his adult teeth behind the baby teeth. It reminds me of a shark mouth with all those rows of teeth! Plus, it's a 360 degree view, laid out flat, so the shape is odd. You can see it better in person, obviously, but you get the point.
And last, but not least, here's a short video of Andrew walking with his push walker. It's one of his favorite toys these days. Thankfully, he is not yet walking without it. I'm not sure what the deal on his pants is...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
No News is Good News
Here are some things Jacob has said recently, that I found amusing:
Brock Ovama (Barak Obama)
Crock Pock (Crock Pot)
While watching American Idol the other night he said, "I agree with Simon."
Greg said, "What did Simon say?"
Jacob said, "What Simon said, I agree with."
Again, Greg said, "But what did Simon say?"
I said, "That she was boring and self-indulgent."
Jacob replied, "Yeah, that."
Greg asked Jake again, "So what exactly did Simon say?"
Jacob said, "Yeah, I agree with Simon."
He had no idea what Simon said. The poor guy was just trying to be a part of our conversation!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Music
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Hello Easter Bunny

Sunday, March 22, 2009
Invasion of Fort Jacob
Andrew has discovered Jacob's new hideout. Can't you just hear him saying, "Brudder, are you in there?"
Much to Jacob's dismay, Andrew has staged a full-on attack, or perhaps in Andrew's mind it was a search and rescue operation: "Hang on, Brudder! I'll save you! I'm coming in!"
Unfortunately, Jacob had to defend his lair, and Andrew was carted off, back to the loneliness of the living room. Poor Andrew. :(Saturday, March 21, 2009
Writer's Block!
The boys are doing well. We went to visit my sister-in-law and my nieces today. Jake had a good time playing with them, but Kiersten had a few go-arounds with Jake and Brooke. Jacob and Kiersten have a textbook example of a "love/hate relationship." They are either best friends, conspiring against the world, or arch-nemeses. At one point today, we heard a ruckus upstairs and when we checked on the kids, Jacob informed my sister-in-law that Kiersten was
"having a nervous breakdown." I thought that was kind of funny. I'm not sure where he heard that phrase.
Otherwise, it's been quiet here. That's the way we like it - boring blogs and all!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
What's Old Is New
Video and Pictures

Friday, March 13, 2009
Bath Fun
Andrew had an empty bottle, which he kept shoving under the water. He laughed each time the air bubbles popped against his skin.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Where Have I Been?
Jackie:
I drove to Baltimore last Sunday to visit with Jackie for the day. She is doing very well, considering all that she is up against. I felt better having seen her, and it was an enjoyable visit, even with the underlying sadness and concern.
The results from Jackie's amniocentesis came back this week as normal. What a huge relief! While this does not eliminate the brain anomalies from the excessive fluid, it does rule out several fatal chromosomal defects, which is very good news. She meets with the pediatric neurosurgeon next week, so please keep praying that he has good news for her as well.
Me:I went to Pittsburgh yesterday to the Headache Center for a follow-up for my headaches. I continue to have success with the Elavil, and he prescribed another medication for occasional breakthrough headaches. That medication knocked the headache out well, but made me feel very shaky, nauseated and dizzy, so I will definitely be taking that only on occasion. Still, you have to love modern medicine....when it works, that is!
I have also begun painting my living room, which those of you who have been to my house know is no small feat. It's a big room and a big undertaking. I'm half way there, but two small children make finding time to paint difficult! I hope to have it done by Easter, or at least by Andrew's birthday.
Which brings me to Andrew:
This kid never gets normal illnesses. Recently he had a blocked duct behind the eyelash follicles on the outside corner of his right eye (not his tear duct). He woke up one day looking like he had been in a boxing match! The doctor told me that this scenario often results in surgery to remove the blockage, but by the grace of God, Andrew's resolved with some eye drops. Two days later, however, he had a fever with no other symptoms, which resulted in two days off of day care, and sabotaged my plans to spend one of those days painting my living room. That health issue seems to be over now too.
Andrew now has two more teeth - the two front top teeth, which he happily grits together with his bottom teeth. YIKES! The noise drives everyone crazy!
His new favorite pass times are banging his head against the washing machine (I guess he likes the sound) and flushing the toilet, namely when I am in the shower!
Jacob:
Oh, Jacob. Where do I begin. First of all, Jacob had a routine dentist appointment this week. Andrew was sick, so my mother took Jake. When I called to check on him, she proceeded to tell me that Jacob sat in the dentist chair and told Dr. Hetrick that he felt his "gray tooth was abscessed." Mind you, Jacob has not complained of any tooth pain whatsoever. Indeed, it is abscessed. Jake self-diagnosed it, and is now on an antibiotic, awaiting a consult and surgery (again) to remove the tooth. I feel like the worst mother in the world! This kid's teeth are a mess, but I swear I brush them! I admit that I don't floss them every night, but I do try to do it a few times a week, and we religiously take a fluoride supplement as well as rinse with a fluoride mouthwash after brushing every day. I'm blaming genetics, namely my ex-husband. I didn't have a single cavity until I was 29, and I haven't had one since! It can't be my genes!
Some lighter news about Jake - he has learned to use the phone very well and has memorized some phone numbers (Greg's cell phone and my parent's home phone). While I am glad that he can use the phone independently, he is now minorly obsessed with calling people, and he calls without my knowledge. One day he tried several times to call my parents, but was unable to get through because of mis-dialing. When he finally did get my mom, he was mad at her, wanting to know what was wrong with her phone. He couldn't believe that he had done something wrong, so when she insisted that it was not her phone, he called Greg. He told me that he was calling Greg to see what was wrong with the power lines (since Greg works at a power plant), but when he actually got in touch with Greg, he didn't even mention it.
Jacob has invited my mother down several times without telling me. The point isn't that she's here without my prior knowledge, but rather that a few of those times, Jacob has left with Greg to run errands and mom has been left in the dust! And once, Jacob talked to Greg for 15 minutes while he sat on the toilet (Jacob, that is, not Greg!). How nice!
Jacob spent the night at my mom's house this week and told her that he was in the school newspaper for being the "heart attack" of kindergarten. Not understanding, she asked him to elaborate. He then explained, "You know, when all the girls love you." Heart throb was what he meant!
One last Jacob story, and then I am signing off. Soon after we bought this house, almost 3 years ago, Greg started playing a joke on Jacob with the TV. While Jake was watching TV, Greg would hide behind the couch with the remote and mute it. Then he told Jake that in order to get the TV to turn the volume back on, Jake had to tap his ears lightly. Jake would tap them, and Greg would reinstate the sound. Greg would do this off and on for 15 minutes, howling in laughter as Jacob innocently tapped his ears waiting for the sound to return. It was really funny. Well, yesterday the sound went off by itself momentarily. Greg wasn't even home, and I looked over at Jacob to see him tapping his ears frantically, waiting for the sound to come back! I had to leave the room and call Greg, it was really hysterical! That poor kid!
Oh, I also felt like I needed some more up-beat music on the blog for a while. I had been feeling very mellow recently, but I think that a happier, faster beat is in order, at least for a little while.
Well, I think that is all the news for now. Sorry about the delay in posting. Hopefully things will be a little less busy in the next coming weeks, and I'll have more to report on a regular basis.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A Little Inspiration
In the meantime, I have two inspirational stories I'd like to share. The first is from my mother:
A friend of my mother's, a woman I don't know, was unable to get pregnant. At 41, long after she had given up trying, she became pregnant. Because of her advanced age, the doctors did all of the routine tests on her. The amnio came back irregular, but they could not specify what was wrong with the baby. The recommendation was to terminate, but she refused to give up on her child. Her husband left her because he didn't want to have a handicapped baby, and in many respects her life fell apart. She prepared herself for the worst, but when the baby was born - a little girl - the only thing wrong with her was that she was missing a fingernail on her pinky. For that, she was almost aborted! What an amazing relief for the mother, and a testament to keeping the faith! Sometimes it's not the experts, but rather a mother's gut that gives the best advice.
The next story is one of a couple I personally know. Michelle and Dave, I don't know if you read this blog or not, but I assume you won't mind me sharing your story. It's such an inspiration. You'll forgive me if some of the details are wrong, but the main idea of what you went through is unforgettable.
Michelle was pregnant with twins when one of the twins died. Michelle, like Jackie, had a terrible pregnancy, vomiting non-stop. The doctors recommended that Michelle abort the surviving fetus, because of a long list of complications that could arise from the deteriorating dead baby in her womb. Of course, Michelle and Dave were distraught over this, but they decided that they would follow the doctor's orders, and try for another baby later. Still, the decision weighed heavily on them both. The night before their scheduled appointment in Pittsburgh, Dave had a dream. He was on a football field and a young man came running up to him. Dave looked at the young man and asked, "Alex? Alex, are you alright?" The man responded, "Yeah, Dad. I'm fine." When Dave awoke, he told Michelle about his dream and they decided not to abort the baby. Michelle gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Alex, that June. He'll be 4 this summer, and he's a strapping and brilliant little guy!
It's easy to despair when times are tough, and it's easy to expect the worst. In some ways, I think preparing for the worst is a survival mechanism, necessary to keep us going amidst potential chaos. In many ways, it is difficult to keep faith when things that feel so unjust and cruel are happening. I sincerely believe that God gives us grief to make us stronger, to help us truly appreciate the blessings we have, and to teach us that it is Him after all who is in control, not us, as we so frequently forget.
I am perhaps on of the worst offenders when it comes to losing faith, questioning too much and tightening my own grip of control, but I have been taught, in my own life, and through the lives of others, that sometimes faith is all we have, and sometimes, against the odds, miracles really do happen.
Jackie and Dave could use a miracle about now, so please keep praying, and sending good thoughts their way.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Update On My Friend's Baby
The good news is that baby's brains are very elastic and it has a chance of "bouncing back" to normal, or close to it. They have also seen baby's brains make different connections (as opposed to the connections that normal, healthy brains have) to compensate for disabilities, which an adult brain would not be unable to do. The best part is that all hope is not lost. There's a chance that the baby may survive and a chance that he may even have a close to normal life. But they are far from out of the woods yet. It will depend a lot on what the geneticist says next week. Dandy Walker syndrome can be very mild or very, very severe, and they just don't know quite yet what they are up against. None of the other organs or his extremities were effected, which is good. But there are multiple anomalies in the brain, which is bad. At least at this point, they aren't being urged to terminate the pregnancy. There is some hope, which she is clinging to right now. I will post more updates as I hear. I thank everyone for their continued prayers.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
On the Light Side for a While
Yesterday after I picked Jake up from school, he told me that he had a "treasure chest" inside his head where he kept a lot of bad things. This alarmed me a little, but I didn't want to let on, so I nonchalantly asked him some questions. "What's inside the box? Like, villains and criminals or what kind of bad stuff?"
"No, not criminals, but villains. Electro and Doc Ock, you know, Spiderman's enemies."
"Oh, OK. Is there bad weather in there, like hurricanes and tornadoes?"
"No, but Electro can control lightning, so sometimes he causes power outages in the treasure chest."
"Are there germs in there? Viruses and bacteria?"
"Um, no mom. I use clorox every day. It's a very clean place."
Ah yes. That's my boy! Even the little Pandora's box in his head is sanitized daily! :)
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My birthday is in March, and Jacob is eagerly planning a party for me at my mom's house. He told me tonight that he is very excited. He said that there will be balloons for everyone, and since it's my birthday, I can have as many balloons as I wanted. Then he thought about that for a minute and said, "well, don't take too many balloons, Mom. You might want to leave some for other people." (Like himself!)
Then he asked me what I wanted for my birthday present. I said,"How about some nice bubble bath with matching lotion." He thought about that for a minute and said, "How about some bubble GUM and chocolate?" Well, I guess that's a good gift too!
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Later, when I was putting him to bed, he asked when I was going to bed myself. I told him that I had some things to do and then I was going to be early tonight. He asked if I checked on him before going to bed (he knows I always do). I told him that I always check on him before I go to bed, and again whenever I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I said that I also always check on Andrew. The difference is that every time I open Andrew's door, he pops his little head up and looks at me before going back to sleep. He's a tremendously light sleeper, especially in comparison to Jacob. I told Jacob that he never even knows that I am in his room. In fact, last night I went into his room, turned on the light and rummaged through his closet for clothing for today and he never even twitched! He laughed and said, "Well, I guess these ears that don't hear everything you want them to during the day come in handy when I'm sleeping!"
My Dear Friend's Baby
One of my best friends, a friend I have known since 5th grade, and a woman I have grown to love as sister, has recently had a series of horrific misfortunes. She and her husband tried for a while to get pregnant without success. Just when they were about to see a fertility specialist, it seemed that God intervened and blessed them with child. When she told me she was pregnant, she said she nearly passed out because she was so overwhelmed with joy! I shared that joy and excitement with her, already planning what we could do with our babies being so close in age. That happiness quickly turned bittersweet, however.
Shortly into the pregnancy, it became apparent that she had more than the run of the mill morning sickness. Plagued with unrelenting vomiting, she was hospitalized several times and forced to take a leave of absence from work before eventually ending up with Home Nursing services and a PIC line for continual IV fluids and medication. She lost somewhere around 30 pounds in about 3 months. Just the severity of the sickness would be enough to render anyone hopeless, but that coupled with the raging hormones and exhaustion of early pregnancy, as well as the hassles of ensuring sustainable employment became an emotional nightmare for her.
Over the last month, although t he vomiting did not completely subside, it seemed to ease a little. We talked often, and she seemed more emotionally stable, able to find hope again in returning to normal, and finding enough relief in those sporadic moments of wellness that she felt some optimism.
She was scheduled a routine sonogram for this Friday, but on Tuesday she had some spotting. The doctor decided to administer the sonogram early. The baby is a boy, a surprise to all of us who thought it was surely a girl, but he is not a healthy baby. My friend called on Tuesday and told me the news. They thought the baby had hydrocephalus, water on the brain. Her outlook, though, was not panicked or grim, but rather hopeful. Hydrocephalus has varying outcomes and varying etiologies. It could be bad, but it could also be no big deal. She decided not to worry until she went for more detailed testing on Wednesday. I give her a lot of credit here, because I think I would probably have been very worried at that point, but she handled it well.
I waited for the call on Wednesday with anxious anticipation. Surely they would tell her that it was no big deal. They’d put a shunt in the baby when he was born, or possibly in utero, and he would have a good chance of developing normally. I mean, what are the chances that there’s something terribly wrong? Apparently, the chances are pretty good.
She called me yesterday afternoon in tears. The news was probably the worst case scenario. The doctor felt that the baby could be lacking a cerebellum, or possibly has a rare genetic disorder called Dandy-Walker syndrome, which is caused by malformation of the cerebellum. The cerebellum controls motor function and sensory perception integration. Deformities to it (and thereby also Dandy-Walked Syndrome) can cause a wide range of disabilities ranging from moderate to profound. If there is no existing cerebellum, disabilities will also vary, but will inevitably include tremors, uncontrolled movements, and muscle weakness to name a few. That is if the baby survives.
She had an appointment today for a second opinion. The appointment was at 10 a.m and as I write this, it is almost 2. I haven’t heard word yet, so I am assuming that the second opinion was not far off from the first. I don’t know what her course of action will be. I don’t know what to do to comfort her except to pray, and to be honest, I don’t even know what to pray for. I don’t know if it is better to pray for a living baby, or for God to be merciful and spare him the agony of a painful life. Therefore, I have chosen not to be specific in my prayers, but I have rather been asking God to give her and her husband both strength and guidance. This isn’t a crisis that a human mind can readily solve. It is in His hands alone now.
My heart breaks for her right now, as a mother and as a friend. The depth of a maternal bond is one that all mothers share. When it comes to children, we readily feel each other’s pain, and this is monumental. I can’t help but cry every time I think of her. I know she’s sitting somewhere, feeling the tiny kicks of a baby who may never even see her face. How exactly does one deal with those emotions?
Likewise, each time I looked at my own children last night and again this morning, her pain was refreshed for me. I was reminded again at the miracle of each healthy child, and painfully aware of my own good fortune. I was right yesterday when I decided that I needed to be more patient and grateful. I’ve said it before and later relapsed to my intolerant ways, and I’m sure, as all human beings do, I will lapse again from time to time. However, simply the inkling of what she is experiencing right now is enough to make even the most impatient person step back, regroup, and thank heavens that my child is healthy. Instead of exasperation, I should be glad that Andrew likes to "kiss" the glass on the back door, and that Jacob is able to ransack my living room and jump on the couch. Those antics truly are no big deal in the grand scheme of life. The glass wipes clean, and a couch is just furniture after all. The material can be patched, but the hole that his absence would leave in my heart could never be mended.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Priorities
What struck me was this statement, “Sin is sin, regardless of who commits it, but guilt is proportionate to understanding.” He went on to explain that justice in the eyes of God is not blind , as our country’s legal system intends it to be, but is rather a justice that is omniscient and insightful. God weighs us on his balance, our actions, attitudes and intentions, and we are judged accordingly. It made me think about my own actions and intentions, and of the actions and intentions of some people I know. To be frank, and to sound terribly judgmental myself, I have to say that I find comfort in knowing that there are some people who may not get what they deserve while on this earth, but will pay the price when they meet their maker.
But one cannot apply that principal only to people whom we dislike. I, of course, am no different than my worst enemy when I stand before the Lord. I would like to say that my intentions are always pure, but I admit that I can be selfish, distractable and impatient (to name a few) – human. I find this introspection to be especially salient in regard to my children. I think most people who read this blog know me well. You know that I am not someone who readily takes advantage of others, knowingly wrongs others or lives a lavish life of sin and wastefulness. When inspecting most facets of my life, I am pretty satisfied that I do the right thing most of the time. Usually. Like I said, everyone makes mistakes.
But I really feel that my largest and probably most detrimental mistakes lie in my interactions with my children. Do I give them enough attention? Do I involve them in my life enough and engage them in intellectually stimulating and emotionally supportive ways. Do I give them my undivided attention enough? I’m not saying that parents should do those things all the time. I believe that we can give our children too much, and thereby create people who are just as dysfunctional as those who were ignored. It’s a matter of finding the right balance between helping our children to be autonomous and feeling valued.
Recently Greg and I had a conversation about spending time with family. He commented on how well he felt his dad and mom balanced the important things in their lives, namely spending time with their kids and grandkids. He complimented his dad for always being there for him as a child and still being there now into adulthood. He commented on his oldest sister’s girls and how he could see already that they have grasped the importance in family time, and how proud he was of them for that. Even as teenagers, when we all know that being with “boring adults” is not on the top list of things to do, they never complain or make us feel like they begrudge family gatherings. It speaks worlds of my sister and brother in law as parents. We agreed that my other nieces and nephew will also hold these values, because that is how they are being raised as well. It’s a tremendous gift that the Williams decedents all have been given. It’s a gift that I was given by my parents as well. Our children are twice blessed to live with such gifts on both sides of their family.
At one point, Greg expressed concern that someone very dear to him viewed him as someone who was unavailable. My response? That person doesn’t know him well at all. Greg is someone who is always available. Yes, he works crazy hours that take him out of the house often, but he amends for those lost moments three-fold with every free moment he has. It is something that he learned from his parents, and a lesson that he holds dear to his heart. He goes out of his way to know what is important to those around him, and engage each person accordingly. Anyone who knows Greg can attest to his emotional availability. It’s what distinguishes him from all the rest, what makes him such a good husband and such a good father. It's what I love the most about him, and what brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.
I can attest to Greg’s intentions, attitudes and actions, but what about my own? I would like to say that I am available. I try to be there for my family and my friends, but there are times when I don’t want to be bothered either. There are times when I just want to read the paper while I eat my breakfast instead of listening to talk about dinosaurs or Spiderman. There are times when I get irritated because Andrew wants to be held, and I want to fold laundry. These are unimportant things that I routinely allow myself to be distracted by.
Today then, on Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, I have decided to make some changes. I won’t put the paper in front of me in the mornings unless I am eating alone. I’ll fold the laundry when the kids are in bed (OK, but I have to do some of the other chores while they are awake - I have to keep my sanity! Work with me here!), and I will try not to worry so much about all the nonessentials. In short, I will spend the next 40 days really focusing on my children with the intention of continuing that focus after Easter.
It’s true, God will judge us accordingly, but it isn’t fear of judgment day that is my driving force. It’s looking into my boys’ eyes and knowing that one day I want my sons to sit with their wives and say, “I’m so grateful that mom and dad always found the time for us, and made us feel important.” To me, that is the true measure of a good parent.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Andrew Eating
This evening I gave Andrew a spoon and cup of food and let him have at it - this is what happened! I didn't know he had it in him!
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Jacob - "When I say 'Andrew smells', I'm not kidding. He really smells!"
Me - "That's not nice. "
"Well, it's true. When he poops, it is."
"Your poop doesn't smell good either."
"No. No it doesn't. Nobody's poop smells good. Unless maybe if they ate an air freshener. Then it might smell good. But that would probably give you bad diarrhea."
Friday, February 20, 2009
For Fred
- First and foremost, Fred is one of my husband's best friends. If you asked Greg to list the most important people in his life, Fred would be right next to me and our kids. I don’t know any other man that Greg talks or thinks about more than Fred.
- Fred can hold his beer better than anyone I know. If I had known Fred in college, he would have been my idol, and probably a dormatory mascot! He can drink us all under the table, and the only way that you know if Fred is drunk is if he directly tells you. It's amazing!
- Fred has the uncanny ability to accurately imitate others. The best example is my father-in-law, who Fred lovingly calls "Eddard." It goes something like this: "Hey, Fred, you know my good buddy Don Stock?" If you know Fred, and you know Ed, you have to smile at that sentence! I hate to see what his imitation of me is like!
- Floppy Socks. (See picture on side of blog). Enough said!
- Fred is a family man. It doesn't take a genius to see how much Fred loves his daughters, and how proud he is of both of them. On that note, they are good girls, who are easy to be proud of!
- Fred is an amazing musician. He never had a professional lesson, and plays mostly by ear. He can whip out a song after listening to it, with amazing precision.
- Along those lines, Fred has a talent for making up his own songs and words spontaneously. If any of you have ever tried to spontaneously rhyme to a rhythm and melody, you know how hard it is. Fred can pull a song right out of his behind at a moment's notice, (See Andrew's Song Video) and he always has a captive audience at our house!
- When Jacob was little, he had hair just like Fred's - fine and curly all over. I have a picture somewhere in the house of the back of their heads when Fred was holding Jake. It's like a mini-me shot! I smile whenever I see it.
These are just a few of the things we all know and love about Fred. Feel free to comment with any additions, if you know him! And when you drink your next Milwaukee's Best, give a little nod of appreciation to our man, Freddy! :)
Jake takes time out of his special day to bond with the dogs.
Sharing the burden of blowing out the candles.
Jake and Pap
Jelly Bellies and Tequila...the ultimate birthday gift for Pap!
Legos Mars Mission - the ultimate birthday gift!
Mimi's homemade birthday cake is very kind to Pap.
























