Men Have It So Easy

I'm so sure you all want to read about the grueling details of my cycle, that I decided to write a blog entry devoted solely to the woes of my period.  Thrilled, aren't you?  Tough.  It's my blog and this is what's on my mind.

I'm tired of menstruating.  Well, actually, that's not true.  My periods are pretty easy.  They are generally short and I usually have minimal discomfort on the first day only.  I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I am tired of being governed by a mess of surging hormones. 

I got my period when I was 10.  That means that at age 34, I have already been menstruating for 24 years.  I have a short cycle, usually about 21 days.  I bleed for 5 or 6 days, but the PMS leading up to the actual bleeding lasts normally a week to ten days.  That's the time I hate the most.  I have no energy, and excruciating continuous breast pain.  I'm no stranger to irritability and unhealthy food cravings either.  So, if I have a 21 day cycle, and possibly 16 days are spent in some kind of hormonal flux, that leaves about 5 days each cycle where I am symptom free.  That's roughly 87 free days in an entire year.  Less than 24% of my life is lived without some kind of hormonal discomfort.  I don't want to rush menopause, because that brings its own can of worms, but ugh, being a woman sucks.

I find that I actually live for that "good" 24% of the time.  At least I know during that partial week, I am in my right mind, I feel well and anything I say or do is done with a sincere heart.  It's sad and terribly discouraging to think that 75% of the time I am either filtering (or not) my words and pushing myself to find energy I don't really have.   It's like my body is under siege.  I'm sure many of you can relate.  I'm betting many of you have it worse than I do.  My sympathies.  It sucks.

It's worse in the summer and around the holidays.  In the spring and fall, when things are less hectic in general, I feel a little better.  I know that at least part of it is the fact that during those times, I am drinking lots of water from plastic bottles with BPA leeching into my system, carrying food around in plastic (portable) containers, and I'm not eating right.  When I pay attention to what I eat and avoid plastic containers (the plastic is absorbed into the food and therefore into your body.  The body reads the plastic chemicals as pseudo-estrogen and throws hormones way out of whack, especially in people who are already sensitive to hormonal shifts) I feel much better.  Maybe the hormones go to less extremes.  I'm sure they are at least somewhat stabilized.  But I think the bigger influence is my overall health.  I'm better nourished, better cared for, and more resilient to the external (and internal) forces on me.

This last week + has been absolutely awful for me.  I have barely been able to stand to be hugged or to play with Andrew, because of the chest pain.  I have been a real bitch, or trying very hard not to be a bitch, which in turn makes me bitchier because I'm bottling up emotions.  I feel fat, ugly, tired and hungry.  I woke up this morning to blood and I felt utter relief!  The first half of today will begin my return to normal.  By evening, even though I might have some cramps and I'll be bleeding like a stuck pig, I'll feel better.  Thank God. This last week has been a wake up call for me that I need to get my body back on track.  I hate, hate, hate feeling like I have for the last 10 days.  I made an appointment with Dr Luke, my chiropractor and I'm doing a full blown purification program starting Tuesday.  I start Tuesday, because my appointment isn't until later in the afternoon on Monday.  I'm so ready to get back to eating right and feeling better. 

So for now, I am going to take a deep breath, feel the relief of finally getting my period, and try to muddle through the weekend.  A purification is coming. I will be going back to work the following week. Routine will be restored soon, and hopefully, with it, my sanity.