A Royal Flush

We seem to have a little problem. Mysterious objects keep appearing in our toilets. First there was this long necked dinosaur:

Maybe he just wanted to help me clean...or maybe the lure of a freshly scrubbed commode was just too appealing to resist. The scent of Clorox implored him to take a dip. Who knows?

Then I found out that two days ago, one of my niece's barbie dolls took a swim in the toilet at my in-law's house, complete with complimentary swirly. Her funeral was today. The obituary read: "In lieu of flowers, please send Lysol disinfecting wipes."

Then today, I walked into the bathroom to find this poor, innocent gingerbread man drowning in the toilet.

Don't fret, I was able to save him. After a nice bath and some counseling, he was OK.

I fear it will take more than a bath and some counseling to clear up the problem of the mysterious floating toys. Yes, we've tried toilet locks. Yes, we even lock the outside of the bathroom doors. The toilet fairy is crafty, though, and outsmarts us every time. I guess we may as well just buy some stock in Roto Rooter, because I have a feeling that this one isn't going to end well.