Pet Peeves

I was fortunate enough to steal a half hour phone call with my dear friend Norma on Sunday.  We don't get to talk often, so I always cherish hearing her voice.  In the course of conversation, however, she told me that she found my blog to be sickeningly sweet as of late.  I think she said something like this, "I've been reading your blog and I can't take it.  'Oh, I went to Florida and it was beautiful! I love my husband; he's so wonderful!' Koelle, it makes me want to puke!"  Hahaha!  If you know Norma, you know she said this with the sweetest intonation underlying her sarcasm.  Well, I love Norma so much that I would never, ever want to make her sick.  So, Norma, this blog is for you.  I'm breaking my traditional blogging personality to make you a list of things I hate!  Here goes nothing!

• Litter bugs.  Come on, people.  Throw your trash away!  The rest of the world isn't here to pick up after you.  It's disgusting, ill-mannered and inconsiderate.  
• Late people.  Also inconsiderate.  The world runs on standard timing principles, not on YOUR time.  Get a watch and use it.  
• Sugar.  OK, actually I love sugar.  I love it so much that I have to hate it for its addictive qualities.
• Winter, cold, snow and ice.  Honestly, I can't complain much this year.  It was 55 degrees here today.  We have only had one significant snowfall all season and it melted completely in less than a week.  Still, I much prefer the heat and sun of summer.  What can I say?  I'm a fair weather gal!
• Finding whatever I am searching for empty.  i.e. no toilet paper on the roll, no paper towels in the dispenser, an empty box of cereal in the cupboard, an empty box of pens in the cabinet at work.  I don't know what irritates me more - that someone has left the scene unprepared for the next person or that someone didn't care enough to throw away their own garbage.  I guess this is a partial extension of my litter bug aversion.
• The scale.  Enough said.
• Insomnia, heart palpitations, night sweats and anxious dreams. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.
• Getting older.  Wrinkles.  Stray facial hairs.  Back fat.  Back fat?  Gross!  At least I can pluck the chin hair!
• Not being able to run.  Having a cinched back and aching hip 24/7.  I think this is directly correlated to getting older.  Next I'll be donning a cane.  You have permission to call me "Granny."
• PMS.  Also, enough said.
• Sibling rivalry.  A 4500 square foot house can seem incredibly small sometimes.
• Doing homework with Jake.  It's as if I am putting him through some kind of medieval torture ceremony.  Good grief!
• Speaking of torture...  Do all 9 year olds view personal hygiene as torture?  Since when did brushing teeth and showering become grounds for a nervous breakdown?
• Arrogant, insensitive and know-it-all people.  It does everyone good to practice a little humility from time to time.
• Grudge holders.  People who are always right and don't have the ability to forgive are doing themselves and everyone around them a huge disservice.  Forgiveness is one of God's greatest gifts.  If He can forgive all of my hair brained indiscretions, then I can certainly forgive yours.  Besides, forgiveness isn't really for the person who did wrong, but rather for the victim.  Holding a grudge just makes you bitter, and it's a real turn off to everyone around you too.  We all meet our Maker one day.  Let go, and leave the judging up to God.  
• People who can't take a joke and who are never happy.  I really believe that even in the worst case scenario, there's humor and light.  Sometimes you just have to try a little harder to find it.  Lighten up, and you might just find some appreciation you never saw before!

And, thanks to Norma's insistence that I kill the rainbows and butterflies, I have come to find that I apparently have a real problem with other drivers, which I find incredibly funny because I am probably one of the worst drivers out there! (I told you about when I drove the van full of clients into the bank, right?  Yeah, that's right, into.the.bank. Click the link if you haven't already read the story)   Here's what I hate about other drivers:

• Tailgaters.  Back off.  Riding my ass is not going to make me go any faster.  In fact, I just slow down.  It's dangerous, and if we're in an accident, you're going to be at fault for following me too closely, so like I said, back off already!
• People who leave their cars running while they go into the convenience store or take their kids to day care, etc.  It's winter.  I get it.  Warm up your vehicle for a little bit in the morning.  Honestly though, do you really think that the car is going to significantly cool down in the time it takes you to order a hot dog and grab a Gatorade?  Or in the summer, do you think 5 minutes inside the day care makes that big of a difference?  I can tell you that it doesn't.  And really, on a day like today, at 55 degrees and sunny, there's no reason to leave your car running while you go into Sheetz to buy an MTO.   It's a waste of gas, and it's polluting the environment.  It's not so hard to turn the key and start it up again.  Turn the damn thing off. 
• Inefficient parking.  Do yourself a favor and if you haven't already, learn to parallel park.  Pull up close to the person in front of or behind you.  Don't park them in, but don't leave 5 feet of space either.  Where I work, parking is at a premium.  Every single day I see people who waste parking spaces.  It's maddening, especially when the weather is bad.  If you live or work where you have to street park, learn to park right!  I swear one of these days I'm going to bring it up at an All-Staff training.
• People who ignore the turning lane, and instead slow way down on the main road before making a turn.  That lane outlined in yellow with the arrows inside it is there so that you don't cause an accident.  Use it!  And use your turn signal too, while you're at it!

I believe that concludes my list of pet peeves for now.  Who knows, maybe I'll be more in tune with what bothers me, now that I'm thinking about it.  How's that for a sour and salty post, Norma?  Did I ease your queasiness?  ;)