Vacation Appreciation

We're at it again!  Doing things, that is!  

On Wednesday, I spent the day with my dear friends Marsha, Donna and Norma.  Norma was gracious enough to offer her house as a meeting place when severe thunder storms threatened to ruin our picnic plans.  She even organized a craft for us to do while we visited.  I had so much fun catching up with the girls. We all arrived around 11, and before I knew it, it was 7 p.m. and I was forcing myself to pack up and head home.  They say that with true friends, time and distance is erased when you gather.  I have experienced that phenomena first hand with these women.  We may only see each other once or twice a year, but they are always close to my heart.  

Yesterday I took the boys to the pool.  Again, thunderstorms were in the forecast, but we decided to take the gamble.  When we first arrived, we had the pool all to ourselves!  Actually, it never got crowded.  How nice to have all that water at our disposal! 

Andrew cracks me up with his swim vest, goggles and pool toys.  

Jake took a friend along for the day.  Those two were like little fish, barely coming up for air!  

Andrew loves the water slide at the pool.  I wish I could get a picture of him coming down, because his face is just priceless, but since I'm the one catching him, I have to settle for a shot at the top instead.  

At the snack bar, I asked Andrew what he wanted.  He said, "Do they have pony tails?"  I said, "Do you mean cow tales?"  "Yes," he said.  "I'll have a cattle tail."  

Look at him go!  He'll be swimming without that floatie by the end of the summer, I'm sure! 

I realize that my recent posts have been a whole lot of "Look what we did!  It was so fun!  We are awesome! I love Summer."  While that's all completely true, I feel just a touch superficial constantly writing about all the things we are doing, with seemingly very little substance.  The truth is that I do love the warm weather, the sunshine, and the freedom that I have when I'm not working.  We have taken advantage of every moment to grab summer by the tail and wrangle it in.  We've been visiting with friends, swimming, boating, picnicking, and jamming.  What more could I ask for?  Nothing, actually.  Nothing at all.  I just felt like I needed to tell the world what I think about during all that hustle and bustle.  The honest truth is that I haven't taken a moment of our freedom and happiness for granted.  I reflect every day on how lucky we are for so many reasons.  We are in a good place right now, and that's not something to be taken lightly.

Although we have to stick to a budget, we are financially stable enough to allocate funds for play time (and things).  We live in a good neighborhood, in a good school district.  We drive reliable cars.  We take yearly vacations with family, and order take-out every once in a while.  We spend every possible moment on the pontoon boat.  In case you didn't know, they only worries on a pontoon boat are finding the perfect swimming or fishing hole, and what to eat next.  It's an unwritten rule that worries are magically erased when you step on deck.  I love the boat.  I love to sit at the very front of the boat as we cruise down the lake.  It's a feeling like no other.  I love the feel of the wind and sun on my face.  I love to look around and simply absorb the beauty of the lake and the surrounding mountains.  It's gorgeous, and every single time we are on the water, I am amazed that such beauty is right here at our finger tips, ours for the taking.  What a gift!  For us, boating is truly an analogy of gratitude.  When we are on it, I can't help but be thankful - for the boat itself, for having this beautiful lake practically in our back yard, for being blessed with the camaraderie on board, and for the privilege to take advantage of all of it.

I know - it's not a pontoon, or even a lake for that matter, but it's the same general feeling of peace and well-being - a boat on the water, stillness in the air, beautiful scenery all around - you get the picture!

But I'm not just grateful for the things in our lives.  There is so much more:

Our kids are big enough not to need constant supervision, but small enough to still need our love.  They're mature enough to entertain themselves for small periods of time, but naive enough to say some pretty funny things too.   We're all under the same roof, safe and secure.  The teenage years aren't far off, but they're not here yet.  There's no worry about who is out with the wrong group of friends getting into trouble.  The biggest crisis we have is the daily "He's breathing my air!" or "He's sitting on my side of the couch!" conundrums.  Yeah, it gets on my nerves.  I yell about it - a lot, sometimes.  But in the grand scheme of things, air allocation and couch sequestering aren't such a big deals.

Both sets of parents (mine and Greg's) are healthy right now.  The older I get, the more I realize just how much of a blessing that is.  Time goes incrementally faster with each passing day.  By the time my mother was my age, her own mother had been dead for 5 years.  We are lucky not just to have them, but to have them well and able.

I'm blessed to have a job that gives me this time off during the summer.  OK, so it's not really a choice.  I'm off because there's no money in the budget to pay me right now.  Some people - many of my co-workers, I'm sure - see that as a disadvantage.  Sure, I'm off and having fun, but I'm not getting paid.  And again, I'm having fun because of our individual circumstances.  Many people are not so fortunate.  For many, this lay off is a real burden, and I understand why.  But for me, it's a real blessing.  I have two school age children and a husband who works crazy hours.  During the school year, our time together is limited.  These summer weeks are a chance for us to play catch up with each other, as well as with our friends and family.

Speaking of friends and family, we are blessed to be surrounded by so many of the people we love.  I am grateful for the wonderful neighbors we have.  For the family that live nearby, and those who live far away.  For the friends who have graced our lives in times of fun and stayed with us through times of strife.  There are many indeed!

I am also grateful for a reprieve in my OCD.  Everyone knows that I can very easily be overcome with anxiety when things get busy and I feel like I'm not in control.  I start over-cleaning things, hyper-planning, making countless lists and posting them all over my house and office.  I dream about things I have to do.  It can get ugly.  But the last few weeks have been different.  Even though we have been busy, it's been a relaxed kind of busy.  The hustle we are in right now is not a go-to-work-clean-the-house-take-the-kids-to-activities kind of busy, but rather a spend-as-much-time-as-possible-connecting-with-the-ones-you-love kind of busy.  Big difference.  We've all been on a little vacation of sorts.  It's a time to be spontaneous, to jump on the boat at the last minute, to sit on the deck and have drinks while we watch the sun set, to just be.  I am someone who really has a hard time being in the moment.  I am always one step ahead of myself.  It's a big gift for me to be able to set those compulsions to plan and control aside, and for that gift, I am grateful.

I can't forget the biggest part of my happiness equation: Greg.  

That's right, folks.  This goofy looking guy is the man of my dreams and the light of my days (well, minus the conical straw hat). 

I believe that the circumstances we encounter in our lives are opportunities to right the wrongs of our past lives.  I think of the journey to heaven as a stair case, with each step symbolizing one level. God has given us individualized lessons to learn and skills to master before we are promoted to the next grade.  Our souls work their way through levels of until, ideally, we get it right and don't have to come back any more.  Mother Teresa and Gandhi are examples of those who probably reached the level of mastery.  The rest of us have a ways to go.  While I think we are given chances to atone for past mistakes, I also think we are rewarded for the areas in which we got it right.  I don't necessarily think our movement is linear.  If we get cocky and really mess up one life, it's likely that we will be knocked down a rung.  I know this line of thought certainly doesn't jive with my religious upbringing, but it's a feeling I've had for a very long time, and one that I can't ever seem to shake.  Instead of fighting it, somewhere along the line, I decided to accept it.  It's what I believe.

Anyway, the point of that little tangent wasn't to bring a religious discussion to the table, but rather to say that Greg can be nothing other than the result of good Karma gracing my being.  I have several areas in my life that need some serious attention before I move on, but somehow, some way, I must have done something right to be blessed with Greg.  While I learn things with him and from him, he is not an opportunity for atonement.  He is an absolute reward in every sense of the word.  He is my perfect compliment, my main supporter, my comic relief, my voice of reason, my true love.  My favorite part of the day is nestled in those 15 minutes before we fall asleep.  No matter how the day has been - good, bad or indifferent - I look forward to that time with Greg.  He wraps his arms around me, envelopes my whole body, and I feel nothing but peace and protection.  If the day was rough, that time is a consolation, a promise of a better tomorrow.  If the day was good, it's the perfect happy ending, falling asleep snuggled against the one I love.  I am grateful beyond words to be sharing these busy days of my life with Greg.   I am privileged to call him my husband.

While I'm aware of all the blessings in my life, I'm equally aware of how precarious the balance is.  We can't stay in this state of tranquility forever.  Time passes quickly, and changes are on the horizon.  In the meantime, I am trying to take advantage of every sweet and simple day that falls into my lap, to create and absorb as many memories as I can, and to be aware of all the little things that make me happy.  

Ah...now that was a lot of over-sentimental hoopla, wasn't it!  Don't misunderstand.  Just because I am appreciative for so many things right now doesn't mean that my life is all sappy sweet flowers and kisses. That's not really my style.  I'm still short-tempered and impatient at times.  I'm always just a little sarcastic.  I've spent just as much time yelling at my children as I have looking at their dear little faces, and I'm still a compulsive cleaner.  But a big part of being content is being OK with who and where you are.  I'm not always OK with who I am.  There are a lot of things I would like to change, but I'm getting there.  Hey, we all need something to strive for, right?  Besides, those freak-out moments make great stories later, and I wouldn't be a real parent if I didn't give my kids something to discuss with their therapist when they reach adulthood.  I just hope that they (my kids, my family, my friends) know that in the space between those moments of raised voices and marathon mopping there is a whole lot of love and gratitude.