Dinner Drama

Dinner time at my house is nothing short of pure torture. Before you say it, let me assure you that it is not because of what I am feeding my kids. I'm not unrealistic with them. I do not expect them to eat stuffed mushrooms and quinoa. I know they are kids. I work very hard to combine items they like with items that are healthy. Tonight, for example, we had a very "normal" meal - roast beef with carrots and turnips (which taste like potatoes, but with less starch) and brown rice for me, noodles for the boys. There's nothing exotic about that meal at all. Andrew ate nothing. Jacob ate the noodles and then told me that my beef was "a little loose on taste." What? The hell it was! It was delicious - a plain and simple, traditional chuck roast, which was extremely tender and flavorful! What does he know!?

Sometimes Jake will put up fuss and pretend to gag, which really makes me mad, but most of the time, he doesn't even bother protesting. Today he pushed his food around and then handed me the half eaten meal and said, "can I save this for later?" Oh, you betcha, honey. No dessert and no snack, until you whip that baby out of the fridge and finish your dinner. I'll gladly save it for you, thanks for asking.

Andrew, on the other hand, is the true irritant at meals. Not only does he refuse to eat what I have made, but he also behaves like a true cave-child. He digs his fork into the grout on the table, pushes his plate all over the table and sometimes spits his food out. He pitches a fit if food falls off of his fork. He stands on the side of the chairs, despite repeated attempts to direct him to sit properly. If someone gets up out of their seat, he hurriedly jumps into that chair and starts wreaking havoc on their meal. He sticks his hands into their drinks. He grabs the salt and pepper, the ketchup, containers of food and shoves them around the table. He's like a child possessed.


I have tried saying, "Please sit nicely at the table." I have tried, "If you are not hungry, then go watch TV." He inevitably returns to the table. He wants to cause trouble. It's fun for him. I have even removed him and placed him in his crib (the only place he amazingly hasn't been able to get out of yet) for a few minutes, gone back, asked if he was ready to eat nicely and tried again, only to do the same thing over and over and over. Greg has even regressed to feeding Andrew, although he is fully capable of doing it himself.


I'm not sure how to remedy the situation. I have yet to find a mode of discipline that works on Andrew. Sometimes I think these blog entries make him sound like some kind of maniac. He's not always like that. In fact, a large part of the problem is simply the atmosphere: he's great when he's alone, or with any child other than Jacob. When Jacob enters the picture, Andrew wants to terrorize. He gets a great thrill out of showing off around and pestering his brother, and Jacob feeds into that behavior. It's very tiring.

I try to tell myself one of my own favorite quotes, "The days are long, but the years are short." I know that some day I will miss these days of their childhood and long to relive them. I love my children deeply, as only a parent can, and I truly don't want to rush any part of our lives together. I know I will miss them terribly when they go off to college, but honestly, I'm also looking forward to the time when Greg and I can sit together in peace and eat a decent meal.