Mine Mine Mine!

I have two boys, therefore I have watched a ton of animated movies over the last eight years. It's not that I think only adults with children or grandchildren should watch animated movies, just that I personally have watched many more than I would have watched without kids. Most of them are OK. I'm not a big movie or TV person in general, but I do have to tell you all how much I love Finding Nemo. It's just the sweetest, funniest kid's movie ever. I love Ellen Degeneres. I love Dorie's character and I just love the movie. Did you get that I love the movie?

Often when my kids (or myself, or anyone for that matter) are discouraged, I will sing to them, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!" I've been known to quote other parts of it too. This clip has been playing in my head recently. There's a reason why, actually. It's not a random thought, like most of my thoughts are, but you'll have to wait a little while before I disclose the information. Sounds intriguing, doesn't it?



Actually, I think about this clip a lot. When my boys are fighting, I think of it. When I hear people at work, I think of it. The only person in my life who has never been personified in these seagulls is Greg. He's the most unselfish person I know. He'd be the only bird saying, "Yours! Yours! Yours! Yours!" Aw...Well, maybe my Aunt Carmen would be along side him too. She's a sweetie as well.

So... I've been thinking a little about what is mine. Not stuff. Yes, I have lots of stuff, but what is it that I call my own and gives me definition. Can you guess where I'm going with this?

I started running in 7th grade. Aside from a brief hiatus here and there, I've been pretty dedicated to it, defining myself as a runner ever since. I just opened my email and there were about 5 messages from various running websites, and one from the Pittsburgh Marathon. I also just received my most recent issue of Runner's World magazine. I deleted all of the messages without opening them, and I haven't even opened the magazine yet. Why? Because I can't help but feel fake calling myself a runner right now, when the most I have run in the last two months has been from the house to the car in the rain. How long of a break can a person take before she has to relinquish her title?

My reasons for not running are fairly simple. My hip and lower back hurts and running aggravates it, big time. I'm not just talking about a little stiffness. Depending on how far I've run, there have been times when I could barely move because it was so tight and sore, and that's with all of the stretching and foam rolling and ice a person can reasonably take.

The point is not to complain about my hip. It is what it is, and (hopefully) there are things I can do to fix it. I'm just sad that I'm not running right now. I miss it. I see other runners out doing their thing, and I am filled with an incredible sense of envy. I dream about running, often. I think about it multiple times every day, but I'm stuck right now. I have decided to make an appointment with a doctor who specializes in sports medicine. Maybe someone can get me back on the road, but I am also very aware that my running days may be over. I've talked to many runners and former runners and the jury is out. Some swear that I never have to give it up. Others say give it up now before I do any real damage. I wonder if I have already done some real damage.

I don't think I'll be running the marathon I signed up for so optimistically this fall. It's still on my bucket list, to run a full marathon, but it's on hold for now. There's just no way I could be ready by May to log 26.2 miles on this worn out body. What a bummer. Big time. But there's no point in dwelling on what isn't. There are lots of other ways for me to find the clarity that running brings me. I just haven't found the right fit for me yet. So while I take some time off to recuperate, and hopefully return to my life-long love, instead of pining away, I should take some time to find something else that I can call, "Mine! Mine! Mine!"

Suggestions?