Update Jackie's Baby

Over the last few weeks, Sean's head has gotten significantly bigger. The fourth ventricle continues to be enlarged, and at Jackie's sonogram on Thursday, the doctors told her that she would probably deliver the baby Tuesday. After the sonogram yesterday, they decided to wait until Thursday. Jackie said that the labor and delivery ward was extremely busy and suspected the chaos of the hospital was more the reasoning than the baby's status. True or not, it gave them a chance to give her a steroid injection to help Sean's lungs mature a little before entering the world tomorrow. The plan now is for her to be induced on Thursday.

Depending on his health, Sean will undergo brain surgery shortly after he is born. They will place a shunt in his brain to drain the fluid. The best case scenario is that the fluid will drain and his brain will resume a fairly normal shape, it will form connections and his development will proceed normally. That's the absolute best that can happen. There are also a number of other scenarios, which you can imagine for yourselves.

In the beginning, when she was first told the news of his disorder, it was emotional panic. Everyone thought the worst immediately. One doctor wouldn't even discuss options with her. He simply said "terminate" over and over. That's how grim it appeared. Then, as time went on, things settled some. With further opinions, God and hope entered the room, and the atmosphere calmed. A little, anyway. The possibilities have always been in the back of everyone's minds, and Jackie has continued to struggle with her own health. But at least there was optimism amidst the worry. Now, over the last two weeks, with his entry imminent, the anxiety has resurfaced.

It is now that the "what if's" really come into play. It's easy to say, "we'll deal with whatever comes our way," when "whatever" isn't here. It is now that the reality of what their son may be facing, and how their lives may be changing is facing them.

Honestly, I don't know what to pray for. More than anything, I want Jackie to have a healthy baby, a happy life. I want her to chase after her little boy like I chase after mine. I want her to feel the frustrations that I do, not the frustrations of insurance companies and major medical issues. I want her to worry about diaper rash, not major brain development. I want her to be exhausted from big birthday parties, not from struggling with a suffering child. My worries and frustrations are minuscule compared to what she is facing, and I wish that I could give her a piece of my chaos instead.

But it's not about what I want. God has tailored each of our experiences for us individually. I have chosen to pray Jackie's health and safety and for God's will. The truth of the matter is that, while Sean may come out of this with barely a noticeable deficit, he may also die, or worse yet, he may live a long and miserable life of painful suffering. It's not my call to ask for one scenario over the other. Loving Jackie as my life long friend, I simply pray for what is best for her and her family.

Jackie is in my thoughts nonstop right now. Again, I'm asking for your prayers. If you have a moment, doing the dishes, folding the laundry, playing a game with your own children, think about how blessed we really are to have such healthy kids, such mundane frustrations, and offer up a quick prayer in their honor, and perhaps a word of thanks for our own blessings.