I recently finished a book about reincarnation. It was supposedly a true story of a psychiatrist who regressed one of his patients into countless past lives, and who also spoke to "Master Spirits" through the woman during her hypnosis. I'm not sure that I can take all of it at face value. In part because it conflicts with my own beliefs, but more because I found it to be just a little too neatly packaged. I believe it is the author's true interpretation of what happened to him, but that his interpretation is highly subjective, nonetheless.
This book poses that our souls are indestructible, and that we have been repeatedly reincarnated from the dawn of creation and will continue to be reborn until the end of time, living out thousands and thousands of lifetimes each. He believes that if we make mistakes or have significant vices in one lifetime, we must make amends for them in our subsequent life. Each new life is the opportunity to learn, grow and progress to a higher plane of spirituality. He poss that those of us who are extremely intelligent, highly artistic, extremely serene, or well loved, etc are souls of people who have maximized their learning in previous lives. Likewise, he says that if we do not learn to change our negative attributes, then we carry them with us to the next lifetime and add additional vices as penance, to make the task of progression that much more meaningful. It's a karma kind of thing.
The author felt that our souls are able to choose which lives we are born into. He stated that he was told by the Master Spirits that we have the ability to look at a lifetime, see it's glory and its strife and decide whether or not it is the right fit for us to fix our faulty karma. He says that once we are born into human form, we lose all recollection of such purposefulness and need to find it again throughout the course of our lives. This is how he explains people who seem mean, angry, evil, or who struggle with major mental illness. They are the souls who have not learned. Once we have finally learned all that we can, eons down the road, we come to a place where we are equal with the Spirit Masters, a place which I imagine is something like the Christian Heaven. Interesting thought, but from a mental health standpoint, I think it's off-base. In my opinion, this is like saying people with mental illnesses deserve them, or that they are able to fix themselves without medication. Some people have brought on their own mental anguish, but I don't believe that is true for the majority of mental health patients. While hypnosis may be helpful for someone with mild depression brought on by a sudden tragic event, a schizophrenic has no control over his symptoms, and could certainly not be cured by past life regression therapy, for example.
Again, it's just a little too neat for me. It leaves a lot of questions unanswered, and answers many way too easily. Still, it made me think about my own life. When I was pregnant with Jacob, I was going through a divorce, moving, etc. You already know the story. It was a time of great emotional upheaval for me. I ended up delivering Jacob via cesarean section, because he was breech. There is a Native American belief that a baby is breech because it feels the need to keep its head close to the mother's heart, to protect and comfort her. Native Americans would coax breech babies into turning by comforting the mother. I thought about that a lot when I was pregnant with Jacob. From a scientific standpoint, I don’t believe my distress was the cause of Jacob's position, but who is to say really? The doctors had no other reason to give me, just that it happens sometimes. Was there a connection between my unborn baby’s emotions and mine? After reading this book, I find myself thinking about it again. Did Jacob choose to come to me? Did he know that I needed him to turn my life around, because it truly was with his birth that my life began to change? Did he know that being breech, having a scheduled c-section was what I needed at the time, and that going into an unpredicted labor, alone and with all of the other unknowns in my life at that point would have been too much for me to handle? It is kind of eerie the way things work out, when you look at them in retrospect.
Then I think about my own life - did I chose to be born to a teen mother, knowing the heartache we would all endure for the first 20+ years of my life? Maybe…
I believe that God provides us with opportunities in our life which are tailor made specifically for us. I think that my mom needed to have me at 18 and go through what she went through to be who she is today. Likewise, I believe that I needed to go through my rocky childhood, to enter some very dark times in adolescence and early adulthood, to lose a baby, and then have a healthy baby during some turbulent times in order to see the light as brightly as I see it now. I know that without those experiences, I would be a very different person.
Greg went through some equally dark times during his divorce. Was it coincidence that we bumped into each other when we did? I believe Greg was brought into my life to teach and give to me what no other person since my grandmother had been able to give me: genuine hope. And he didn't do it on purpose. It oozed from his being into mine. Was that just luck?
Is it coincidental that my aunt Carmen and I have strengthened our bond so much over the last 5 or 6 years? I have learned so much from her quiet strength (OK, well, she's not exactly quiet, but she doesn't boast!) and I just adore her. I am so grateful for her presence in my life. I don't think any of that is accidental. I think we all have gifts to give each other, and that when our hearts are open, we are able to receive monumental gifts from one another, just simply by being present and aware. I believe that God brings us together, to be with each other, to give and take with intention. What we learn from each experience, the perspective by which we view life, the minute details are up to us to gleam from these tailor made experiences we all have.
Since reading that book. I have definitely been pondering my own beliefs and my own actions,but that is not something new for me. As you all know, I think often about my moral standing. I pray on decisions I need to make. I make a sincere effort to live my life with integrity, although there are admittedly times when I fall short. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and I think that being aware of and making allowances for our strengths and weaknesses is a big part of experiencing life to the fullest.
I try to put thought into my lifestyle. It is important for me to be honest, kind, generous, and grateful. I am rarely jealous or vengeful. I try to be forgiving and to give people the benefit of the doubt. I think I do pretty well on these subjects, most of the time. I also understand the destructive nature of gossip, and complaining. I'm working on only opening my mouth when it is for the good. That's a work in process. I tend to blurt out what I am thinking before I have time to process it, which can get me into trouble. But hey, we all have areas that need improvement, right?
Life’s most important attributes can really be summed up in one word: integrity. The Wikpedia definition of integrity is as follows: "Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions." Yes, this is how I want to live. I have surrounded myself with friends and family who adhere to these same values, and I think we do a good job at keeing each other in check.
Jacob recently made his First Reconciliation (confession). A few weeks before the service, Father Gardener met with the parents to discuss the importance of this sacrament. He talked about the true meaning of sin not as the typical things we think of such as swearing or lying, but rather as being a conscious "failure to love." He explained sin as deliberately hurting someone else without regard for their emotions or remorse for our own actions. Sin is disregarding someone's wishes to suit your own needs. It's ruthlessness, undermining, egotism, failure to forgive. The act of Reconciliation allows us to keep ourselves in check, to question our own actions, to repent for our sins and make amends while we are here on earth. It gives us the opportunity to reflect on our mistakes and weaknesses and learn from them. It sets the tone for a life lived with integrity. It is the perfect model of God as or father, our parent, one who teaches us foresight to make the right decisions, and above all, forgiveness when we have strayed
In reflecting on Jake’s confession, I realized that in many ways, I agree with the author of that book after all. His primary premise, that we are here to learn and grow and to treat each other with respect and gratitude are in direct alignment with my own beliefs. God asks nothing more of us than to show gratitude for our blessings, to appreciate Him and one another, to live our lives with pure intentions and love in our hearts, and to open our hearts and minds to His teachings. If we can do these things, that's more than just good enough, it's superb. How we are rewarded for making good choices remains a question in my mind. If I do well during this lifetime, will I come back as an enlightened college professor, or leader in world peace? Will I live out eternity in the comfort of the Lord and with the spirits of my loved ones? Honestly, it doesn't matter what happens to me after I die. The bonds that I have while living, my children, my family, my friendships are my true motivations. I don't try to live with integrity so that I will go to Heaven. I do it simply because that is what I feel it is the right thing to do. I will know the answers about the after life some day soon enough. In the meantime, I plan to take full advantage of the wonderful life I have in front of me right now.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Boy Will Be Boys
I looked in my cell phone today and realized that I have been carrying around an arsenal of things the kids have said for quite some time! Out of the need to purge my text messages, I'm sharing their thoughts with you. Here we go!
A little while ago, I said to Andrew, "Andrew, you are a pain in the rear."
He said, "yeah."
I said, "Do you know what a rear is?"
He replied, "Yes."
"What is a rear?" I asked.
"Williams" he said.
"Yes, dear. That's exactly right. Rear = Williams."
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Andrew is now obsessed with "Toy Story." His favorite thing to yell as he is running through the house is, "To pinny in eon!" (For those of you unfamiliar with "Toy Story", the correct phrase is "To infinity and beyond!"
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One night while making dinner, I heard Andrew in the living room singing, "Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Stayin' Alive! Stayin' Alive." Don't most two year olds sing songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, or Mary Had A Little Lamb? Only our child would sing Bee Gees music while waiting for dinner!
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Jacob is my little worry wart. While Andrew will scale the railing and jump without looking, Jake is always cautious, always putting safety first. One day after I picked Jacob up from school, I stopped at Sheetz to get a ginger ale, because my stomach was upset. I never drink soda, so he was kind of shocked to see me buying it in the first place. But when I opened it while driving home, he really became concerned. "Mom, do you think that's safe?" he said. "What?" I asked. "Driving while drinking pop. I mean, it gets all fizzy in your mouth. Sometimes I have trouble walking and drinking soda. I don't think you should drink and drive like that!" Don't worry, folks. We made it home safe and sound!
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When Andrew is hungry, no matter what time of day it is, he asks for "som'pin a lunch."
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Right before my birthday, Jacob was dying to tell me what my gifts were. I told him I didn't want to know because I wanted to be surprised. He said, "Let me just give you one hint. When you run, you'll be drinking clean water!" He bought me a water bottle with a carbon filter. How thoughtful!
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Jacob's classroom was the coldest room in the whole school. Jake is never cold, but even he was complaining about the chill. I made sure to always send him with a sweater, but one day he said he didn't want it. I asked about the temperature in the classroom and he said, "we used to be cold, but now we're cooking like a bunch of sausages!" Well, I guess that's pretty hot!
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When Andrew sings the song "Some Kind Of Wonderful," instead of singing, "My baby! My baby!" he yells, "my play dough! my play dough!"
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Jacob is getting ready to make his First Communion at the end of the month. He and I were talking about his First Confession, which was actually this morning. He had to miss a Cub Scout event because of the Confession. "That's OK, Mom. Confession is more important than planting," he said.
"Yes, it is. And you need to make your Reconciliation in order to make your First Communion at the end of the month." I said.
"Yes, and you also need to be baptized first." he said.
"Well," I said, "You were baptized as a baby."
"Yeah, I know, but I wonder if Andrew went and got himself baptized yet." he said. (Because it's totally natural to expect a 3 year old to "get himself baptized!)
"Andrew was baptized as a baby, just like you." I replied.
"Oh," he said. "Well, I don't think the Catholic in Andrew has grown much yet!"
Poor Andrew. He gets a bad rap!
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Then today after his Confession, Jake was talking to me about the experience. "You know, Mom," he said, "I don't think those two boys standing in line in front of me had the Holy Spirit in their hearts."
Trying not to laugh, I said, "What makes your think that?"
"They were hitting each other, and it was hard! When I tried to break them up, I got hit and it hurt!"
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Andrew is in the midst of potty training. Yesterday when I went to get a diaper for bed, I couldn't find any. "That's odd," I thought. "I just bought a whole pack." Then I noticed that they had all been stuffed under the changing table. "Andrew, did you put these diapers under the changing table?" I asked. "Yes," he said, "cause I didn't want them!" He hid them from me so he wouldn't have to wear them any more! What a little stinker!
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One day after school, Jake told me he learned about the Angel of Death in religion class. Then he said, "Mom, there's one thing I don't think we'll be learning much about in religion class and that's Hell's Angels!"
He had no idea about the motorcycle gang. He was actually talking about angels in hell. I tried explaining it to him, but he thought he was clever, that he just couldn't get beyond his own idea!
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Jacob is taking ice skating lessons. My niece, Kiersten has also been taking lessons, but she is a good many levels ahead of him. When he was thinking about how the levels are arranged, Jake said to me, "Mom, Kiersten and I have something in common. She started at level one and I am starting at level one!" Yeah...it's uncanny how much alike they are!
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And that, my friends, is all she wrote....for now, anyway!
A little while ago, I said to Andrew, "Andrew, you are a pain in the rear."
He said, "yeah."
I said, "Do you know what a rear is?"
He replied, "Yes."
"What is a rear?" I asked.
"Williams" he said.
"Yes, dear. That's exactly right. Rear = Williams."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andrew is now obsessed with "Toy Story." His favorite thing to yell as he is running through the house is, "To pinny in eon!" (For those of you unfamiliar with "Toy Story", the correct phrase is "To infinity and beyond!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One night while making dinner, I heard Andrew in the living room singing, "Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Stayin' Alive! Stayin' Alive." Don't most two year olds sing songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, or Mary Had A Little Lamb? Only our child would sing Bee Gees music while waiting for dinner!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacob is my little worry wart. While Andrew will scale the railing and jump without looking, Jake is always cautious, always putting safety first. One day after I picked Jacob up from school, I stopped at Sheetz to get a ginger ale, because my stomach was upset. I never drink soda, so he was kind of shocked to see me buying it in the first place. But when I opened it while driving home, he really became concerned. "Mom, do you think that's safe?" he said. "What?" I asked. "Driving while drinking pop. I mean, it gets all fizzy in your mouth. Sometimes I have trouble walking and drinking soda. I don't think you should drink and drive like that!" Don't worry, folks. We made it home safe and sound!
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When Andrew is hungry, no matter what time of day it is, he asks for "som'pin a lunch."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Right before my birthday, Jacob was dying to tell me what my gifts were. I told him I didn't want to know because I wanted to be surprised. He said, "Let me just give you one hint. When you run, you'll be drinking clean water!" He bought me a water bottle with a carbon filter. How thoughtful!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacob's classroom was the coldest room in the whole school. Jake is never cold, but even he was complaining about the chill. I made sure to always send him with a sweater, but one day he said he didn't want it. I asked about the temperature in the classroom and he said, "we used to be cold, but now we're cooking like a bunch of sausages!" Well, I guess that's pretty hot!
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When Andrew sings the song "Some Kind Of Wonderful," instead of singing, "My baby! My baby!" he yells, "my play dough! my play dough!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacob is getting ready to make his First Communion at the end of the month. He and I were talking about his First Confession, which was actually this morning. He had to miss a Cub Scout event because of the Confession. "That's OK, Mom. Confession is more important than planting," he said.
"Yes, it is. And you need to make your Reconciliation in order to make your First Communion at the end of the month." I said.
"Yes, and you also need to be baptized first." he said.
"Well," I said, "You were baptized as a baby."
"Yeah, I know, but I wonder if Andrew went and got himself baptized yet." he said. (Because it's totally natural to expect a 3 year old to "get himself baptized!)
"Andrew was baptized as a baby, just like you." I replied.
"Oh," he said. "Well, I don't think the Catholic in Andrew has grown much yet!"
Poor Andrew. He gets a bad rap!
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Then today after his Confession, Jake was talking to me about the experience. "You know, Mom," he said, "I don't think those two boys standing in line in front of me had the Holy Spirit in their hearts."
Trying not to laugh, I said, "What makes your think that?"
"They were hitting each other, and it was hard! When I tried to break them up, I got hit and it hurt!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andrew is in the midst of potty training. Yesterday when I went to get a diaper for bed, I couldn't find any. "That's odd," I thought. "I just bought a whole pack." Then I noticed that they had all been stuffed under the changing table. "Andrew, did you put these diapers under the changing table?" I asked. "Yes," he said, "cause I didn't want them!" He hid them from me so he wouldn't have to wear them any more! What a little stinker!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day after school, Jake told me he learned about the Angel of Death in religion class. Then he said, "Mom, there's one thing I don't think we'll be learning much about in religion class and that's Hell's Angels!"
He had no idea about the motorcycle gang. He was actually talking about angels in hell. I tried explaining it to him, but he thought he was clever, that he just couldn't get beyond his own idea!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacob is taking ice skating lessons. My niece, Kiersten has also been taking lessons, but she is a good many levels ahead of him. When he was thinking about how the levels are arranged, Jake said to me, "Mom, Kiersten and I have something in common. She started at level one and I am starting at level one!" Yeah...it's uncanny how much alike they are!
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And that, my friends, is all she wrote....for now, anyway!
Friday, April 1, 2011
The Running Woman
I ran 11.75 miles tonight in just over 2 hours. I'll admit that I walked 1/4 of a mile in the middle, and I walked the last 1/2 mile, just so my legs didn't seize up on me upon coming home. So, take into account that I walked a total of 3/4 of a mile, I ran a total of 11 miles at about a 9:30 pace. That's pretty freaking awesome, if you ask me. Go ahead and applaud. I won't mind!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Time To Eat!
I know I have posted the recipe for my hamburger casserole several times already, but I'm posting it again tonight. It's just such a simple, all in one meal and it is healthy and super delicious. I feel compelled to share it again.
Just look at this:
Come, on, you know you want some!
Tonight I made it with black rice, instead of brown. I really like black rice, and the slightly different flavor of the black rice added a nice touch to the dish. Here's the recipe:
1 pound of hamburger, browned and drained.
1 cup cooked brown rice
1 green pepper, chopped
2-3 tomatoes, chopped
1 yellow onion, chopped
chili powder
white pepper
salt
Brown the hamburger and drain the fat. Add salt and pepper to taste (maybe a tsp of each?). Add LOTS of chili powder. I think the original recipe calls for one tbsp,but I probably use closer to two. I don't measure. I just pour it on the meat and stir it around until it looks red! Stir in the rice.
Mix in the veggies and pour the whole mixture into a 9 x 13 baking dish. Bake it at 375-400 until it starts to brown at the top (30 mins approx). It tastes like a steak sandwich without the guilt!
Now, while I get excited over delicious main dishes, desserts are my true love. I have been searching and searching for recipes for tasteful and healthy desserts. Today I came across this black bean cake recipe and thought I would give it a go. When I mixed the batter, I had my doubts. It was really runny, and I didn't see how the stuff in my bowl could possible solidify into anything resembling a cake. Well, now that it has baked, I am totally impressed with the outcome!
First of all, it is fluffy and moist, just like a cake. But the best part of all is that it tastes like chocolate cake, not some kind of health food bar! I'm so happy! I just need to find a healthy icing alternative and this dessert may even be worthy of taking to gatherings outside my home! Give it a shot and tell me what you think. And if you have any suggestions for icing, I'm all ears!
Black Bean Chocolate Cake
1 15oz can of black beans
1 3.5 container of Greek yogurt (I couldn't find a 3.5 ounce container, so I got the 5.3 oz one and guessed at the amount!)
6 Tbsp baking cocoa
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
4 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla (yes, you read that right, a whole tablespoon!)
3/4 cup raw sugar
Preheat oven to 325. Rinse the beans and puree them with the vanilla extract in a food processor. If the mixture stalls, add water (I added between 1/8 and 1/4 cup of water).
In a bowl, mix cocoa, baking soda and baking powder.
In a separate bowl, beat eggs, sugar and yogurt together.
Add the egg mixture and the cocoa mixture to the beans. Blend well.
Grease an 8 x 8 pan ad pour the batter in. Bake for about an hour, checking periodically with a toothpick.
article available online at http://www.theatlantic.com/life/archive/2009/11/recipe-black-bean-chocolate-cake/30021/
Monday, March 28, 2011
Throw Me A Cookie!
I have been short on serious posts lately. The truth is that I have been contemplating several deeper issues over the last few weeks, but I just haven't been able to solidify any one of them into a topic concise enough to discuss intelligently. Yesterday I spent several hours (not in one stretch, but over the course of the morning and afternoon) writing a lengthy blog about some thoughts I've been having about the after life. Somehow, just when I finished it to my satisfaction, I erased the whole damn thing. In a blink it was gone. I was so irritated, I stayed away from the computer the rest of the day. Maybe it was God's way of telling me that no one wanted to hear my thoughts on the dead anyway!
Today, I decided to go a little on the lighter side, but still get some of these thoughts from my mind and free up some mental space. (God knows I need my all mental capacity to be as efficient as possible!) The problem is that I just don't know where to begin. Today, I think I will start with my job, because that's one of the top five contenders for mental space. I try not to write often about my job. For one, I am bound by all kinds of confidentiality laws and I don't want to ever, even remotely hint at breaking one. That being said, most of my frustrations cannot go any further than my office. Plus, there are a lot of workplace etiquette rules that I would hate to break. It just gets sticky, and it's something that I prefer to steer clear of. Usually. Today I'm going to break my own rule and talk about my job.
For anyone who doesn't know, I am a case manager for children enrolled in Head Start. Head Start is an organization funded by the federal and state governments in order to provide preschool to children who are living within the federal poverty level. For a family of 3, that is about $18,000 a year. Many of our families are well under federal poverty guidelines. I do basically what the title says, case management. I make sure the kids have physical and dental exams. I offer referrals and ensure that families know how to locate resources in the community. I offer parenting advice and education. I act as an advocate for families when need be. I assist them in transitioning their children to kindergarten, and to understand the IEP process if need be. I assist families in connecting with mental health services. The list goes on and on, but you get the gist of what I do.
I attended a very competitive liberal arts college. I loved my time at Allegheny and wish in many ways that I could return to those days. However, I invested over $100,000 in my education. That's not what I currently owe to Sallie Mae, but let's just say that I have a student loan in my name bigger than what we would pay for a brand new SUV. My education was worth the cost, but my employment right now truly doesn't justify it. I make less than $13 an hour. Now, my job has benefits beyond the salary. I have time off at Christmas and over the summer. I have the same snow delays and cancellations as the school district, and hence the same delays and cancellations as my kids. I have a lot of flexibility in my hours, which is great for a working mother. But I don't make any money. It's pitiful. My paycheck pays for my student loans, Andrew's tuition at Harbor House and gas money. For everything else that I buy, I have to ask Greg to fork over the cash. It's very frustrating for me, because in a lot of ways, I feel like I am in junior high again, asking for my allowance. Years ago, when I was in college, I never even considered the chance that I would someday be nearly completely dependent on my husband for support. I always pictured myself as an equal breadwinner. I don't want to earn more money than him, but I would like to be on a level financial playing ground. At one time I thought I was a bright young woman, with eons of promise ahead of me - the opportunity to take on the world and do whatever I put my mind to. I don't feel that way anymore. I just feel stuck, and stupid for making some the career choices I made.
If the salary wasn't enough to put me over the edge (and it is), there's the issue of general burnout. I see so many people doing things that lack integrity, that suck the life out of our economy, that bewilder my spirit. Likewise, I see many people who are trying to get ahead by following the rules, taking the high road, and yet they still can't seem to make ends meet. It's a lose-lose situation. Nobody wins. The families are either cocky and feel entitled, or overwhelmed and exhausted. Morale is low, no matter where I look. Drug abuse, crime and depression are everywhere. Every day I feel sad about the way that the general public is living, and the worst part of it is that this poverty ridden class is multiplying. Yes, I mean literally they are reproducing, but I also mean that they are growing exponentially because families can't break the cycle. Each subsequent child who is born is another child who will more than likely tax the system, live a life of despair and have his or her own child to perpetuate it even further. I truly worry about the future of our country. From my perspective, things are not looking good.
I have been a front line worker in social services for about 12 years now. The field has not changed much, although its semantics have. Even given the push for social work reform (which is well and good in its own right), I see the changes as happening very slowly, if at all. When I first started working in this field, I looked at a few older coworkers who were so very obviously burned out. I told myself that when I started speaking like they did, feeling like they did, I needed to change jobs before my poor attitude trickled down to the families I served. That time is quickly approaching. I need a change.
The problem is that I have no idea what to do with myself. I can't just switch jobs, because the problem is not the organization that I work for, but rather social services in general. Agencies vary slightly, but the over all goals are basically the same. To change to another agency, even if it paid better (Odds are that it won't. Social service pay stinks, period.), would simply be prolonging my misery. I don't want to learn another job, get to know more coworkers and the ins and outs of another company. Honestly, I really feel like I need to work for myself. I just can't take the politics of working in a small county, with a bunch of women any more.
So, I know that I want out of social services, and I know that I don't really want to work for someone else. Where does that leave me? I thought about cleaning more houses. I could always do that. I've had several people ask me about cleaning, but I'm not sure I would want to do that all the time. It's boring, and I would need to have quite a few houses to make a decent living. Plus there's the whole economy issue. Times are tight for people. When wallets are thin, what would you cut from your budget first? The cleaning lady, for sure. And again, not to knock anyone who does manual labor for a living, but I am a smart woman. Part of my discontent is that I am wasting my education, not using my brain. I am capable of so much more. I just don't know where to find it.
Greg and I have talked about real estate - buying, renovating and renting homes. It's an option, but it's risky. The market is bad, the economy is hard. It makes me very nervous to take out another mortgage. What if something happened to Greg and we couldn't afford the upkeep of another home? I don't think selling it be a quick fix option in today's market. We could be stuck with a house we can't afford for years. It could be our demise, if the cards fell the wrong way. If we could find something dirt cheap, then maybe...or if we were already established, then I would consider doing the land lording for him, but that's not the case.
I enjoy writing, but I'm not always inspired, and besides, what the heck would I write and who would I write for? I love animals, but I don't want them in my house. I don't' think there's a whole lot of money in animal care anyway. I need adult interaction, but I also need alone time. I can't work around people all day or I'll go crazy. I need flexibility. Greg works long crazy hours and I am the primary caregiver for my kiddos. I want to be able to drop Jacob off at school and pick him up. I want to have the option of getting Andrew early from preschool for some quality time every now and then. I want to be able to attend some of the functions at Jacob's school too. I want to be able to run and do my errands without the kids. Something I could do on the computer in the middle of the night when I have insomnia and everyone else is sleeping might be a good fit for me. Oh, I don't know...
What the heck can I do??? I need a change, and the sooner the better. I need to make more money (heck, if I could just get these student loans paid off then I'd be so much better), and I need a change of pace. Suggestions are welcome. Does anyone know of something I can do from home? Help! Help! Help! I've been spinning my wheels for a long time, and I feel like a hamster in a wheel. Hell, I feel like I'm in that hamster cage! Somebody let me out - or at least throw me a cookie!
Today, I decided to go a little on the lighter side, but still get some of these thoughts from my mind and free up some mental space. (God knows I need my all mental capacity to be as efficient as possible!) The problem is that I just don't know where to begin. Today, I think I will start with my job, because that's one of the top five contenders for mental space. I try not to write often about my job. For one, I am bound by all kinds of confidentiality laws and I don't want to ever, even remotely hint at breaking one. That being said, most of my frustrations cannot go any further than my office. Plus, there are a lot of workplace etiquette rules that I would hate to break. It just gets sticky, and it's something that I prefer to steer clear of. Usually. Today I'm going to break my own rule and talk about my job.
For anyone who doesn't know, I am a case manager for children enrolled in Head Start. Head Start is an organization funded by the federal and state governments in order to provide preschool to children who are living within the federal poverty level. For a family of 3, that is about $18,000 a year. Many of our families are well under federal poverty guidelines. I do basically what the title says, case management. I make sure the kids have physical and dental exams. I offer referrals and ensure that families know how to locate resources in the community. I offer parenting advice and education. I act as an advocate for families when need be. I assist them in transitioning their children to kindergarten, and to understand the IEP process if need be. I assist families in connecting with mental health services. The list goes on and on, but you get the gist of what I do.
I attended a very competitive liberal arts college. I loved my time at Allegheny and wish in many ways that I could return to those days. However, I invested over $100,000 in my education. That's not what I currently owe to Sallie Mae, but let's just say that I have a student loan in my name bigger than what we would pay for a brand new SUV. My education was worth the cost, but my employment right now truly doesn't justify it. I make less than $13 an hour. Now, my job has benefits beyond the salary. I have time off at Christmas and over the summer. I have the same snow delays and cancellations as the school district, and hence the same delays and cancellations as my kids. I have a lot of flexibility in my hours, which is great for a working mother. But I don't make any money. It's pitiful. My paycheck pays for my student loans, Andrew's tuition at Harbor House and gas money. For everything else that I buy, I have to ask Greg to fork over the cash. It's very frustrating for me, because in a lot of ways, I feel like I am in junior high again, asking for my allowance. Years ago, when I was in college, I never even considered the chance that I would someday be nearly completely dependent on my husband for support. I always pictured myself as an equal breadwinner. I don't want to earn more money than him, but I would like to be on a level financial playing ground. At one time I thought I was a bright young woman, with eons of promise ahead of me - the opportunity to take on the world and do whatever I put my mind to. I don't feel that way anymore. I just feel stuck, and stupid for making some the career choices I made.
If the salary wasn't enough to put me over the edge (and it is), there's the issue of general burnout. I see so many people doing things that lack integrity, that suck the life out of our economy, that bewilder my spirit. Likewise, I see many people who are trying to get ahead by following the rules, taking the high road, and yet they still can't seem to make ends meet. It's a lose-lose situation. Nobody wins. The families are either cocky and feel entitled, or overwhelmed and exhausted. Morale is low, no matter where I look. Drug abuse, crime and depression are everywhere. Every day I feel sad about the way that the general public is living, and the worst part of it is that this poverty ridden class is multiplying. Yes, I mean literally they are reproducing, but I also mean that they are growing exponentially because families can't break the cycle. Each subsequent child who is born is another child who will more than likely tax the system, live a life of despair and have his or her own child to perpetuate it even further. I truly worry about the future of our country. From my perspective, things are not looking good.
I have been a front line worker in social services for about 12 years now. The field has not changed much, although its semantics have. Even given the push for social work reform (which is well and good in its own right), I see the changes as happening very slowly, if at all. When I first started working in this field, I looked at a few older coworkers who were so very obviously burned out. I told myself that when I started speaking like they did, feeling like they did, I needed to change jobs before my poor attitude trickled down to the families I served. That time is quickly approaching. I need a change.
The problem is that I have no idea what to do with myself. I can't just switch jobs, because the problem is not the organization that I work for, but rather social services in general. Agencies vary slightly, but the over all goals are basically the same. To change to another agency, even if it paid better (Odds are that it won't. Social service pay stinks, period.), would simply be prolonging my misery. I don't want to learn another job, get to know more coworkers and the ins and outs of another company. Honestly, I really feel like I need to work for myself. I just can't take the politics of working in a small county, with a bunch of women any more.
So, I know that I want out of social services, and I know that I don't really want to work for someone else. Where does that leave me? I thought about cleaning more houses. I could always do that. I've had several people ask me about cleaning, but I'm not sure I would want to do that all the time. It's boring, and I would need to have quite a few houses to make a decent living. Plus there's the whole economy issue. Times are tight for people. When wallets are thin, what would you cut from your budget first? The cleaning lady, for sure. And again, not to knock anyone who does manual labor for a living, but I am a smart woman. Part of my discontent is that I am wasting my education, not using my brain. I am capable of so much more. I just don't know where to find it.
Greg and I have talked about real estate - buying, renovating and renting homes. It's an option, but it's risky. The market is bad, the economy is hard. It makes me very nervous to take out another mortgage. What if something happened to Greg and we couldn't afford the upkeep of another home? I don't think selling it be a quick fix option in today's market. We could be stuck with a house we can't afford for years. It could be our demise, if the cards fell the wrong way. If we could find something dirt cheap, then maybe...or if we were already established, then I would consider doing the land lording for him, but that's not the case.
I enjoy writing, but I'm not always inspired, and besides, what the heck would I write and who would I write for? I love animals, but I don't want them in my house. I don't' think there's a whole lot of money in animal care anyway. I need adult interaction, but I also need alone time. I can't work around people all day or I'll go crazy. I need flexibility. Greg works long crazy hours and I am the primary caregiver for my kiddos. I want to be able to drop Jacob off at school and pick him up. I want to have the option of getting Andrew early from preschool for some quality time every now and then. I want to be able to attend some of the functions at Jacob's school too. I want to be able to run and do my errands without the kids. Something I could do on the computer in the middle of the night when I have insomnia and everyone else is sleeping might be a good fit for me. Oh, I don't know...
What the heck can I do??? I need a change, and the sooner the better. I need to make more money (heck, if I could just get these student loans paid off then I'd be so much better), and I need a change of pace. Suggestions are welcome. Does anyone know of something I can do from home? Help! Help! Help! I've been spinning my wheels for a long time, and I feel like a hamster in a wheel. Hell, I feel like I'm in that hamster cage! Somebody let me out - or at least throw me a cookie!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Fair Allegheny
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to spend the day in Pittsburgh with my dear college friends. I have many friends in my life whom I cherish dearly, but there are few with as long lasting bonds as my fellow Allegheny graduates. Something about living in the dorms, sharing clothes, taking care of one another, and sharing some of the best times of our lives for four years truly creates a life-long sisterhood. Now, 16 years after starting Allegheny, we are all grown up, a far cry from the girls we were back then! We have husbands and children and homes of our own, but our love for one another is still as strong as ever. I'm always shocked at how quickly we all reconnect, even across the miles and after months of separation. It's as if we never left each other's sides. These women are a true gift in my life, and I can't wait to see them again as soon as possible.
Linda, Michelle, me, Shelly (Shel's daughter, Madelynn) Shannon and Molly. Three of our friends, Sabrina, Kathleen and Danielle weren't able to come. We missed you guys, and can't wait to see you at the next reunion!
Linda, Shannon, Me, Shelly. Shelly wasn't drunk. She always looks like that! :)
Molly and Michelle - Freshman roommates, and life-long friends!
Linda, Michelle, me, Shelly (Shel's daughter, Madelynn) Shannon and Molly. Three of our friends, Sabrina, Kathleen and Danielle weren't able to come. We missed you guys, and can't wait to see you at the next reunion!
Linda, Shannon, Me, Shelly. Shelly wasn't drunk. She always looks like that! :) 
Molly and Michelle - Freshman roommates, and life-long friends! Thursday, March 24, 2011
Active Meditation
I recently attended a training for work about health and wellness. There was a segment on yoga and meditation as part of the training. I don't do yoga. I bet that doesn't surprise any of you. I also don't meditate. No surprise there either, huh? I have often wished that I could find enough peace within myself to do yoga and to meditate, but it just never seems to be there for me. My mind doesn't stop moving enough for me to immerse myself completely into the moment the ways yoga and meditation demand. I have even tried doing yoga, in the hopes that it would allow me to access my inner calm, but it doesn't. It ends up stressing me out because I am not flexible enough, or I start thinking that I could be using that half hour for something so much more physical, and I inevitably give up. I took a yoga class in college. I spent the entire time feeling very uncomfortable doing such unusual postures in a room full of strangers. I couldn't shake the thought that other people were looking at (and critiquing) my butt. After three sessions, I bailed out. It's just not for me.
At this training, however, the woman spoke of a different kind of meditation that she does. I don't remember the exact name, but the premise is this: she sits quietly but she doesn't chant or do deep breathing exercises to cleanse her mind of all thoughts. Instead, she allows all her thoughts to appear in her mind, acknowledges them by simply saying to herself, "that's interesting," and then lets the thought leave on its own. She doesn't let the thoughts spark other thoughts and then become their own little mental drama, but she doesn't try to stifle her mental noise either. I found that to be an interesting take, and one that I could possibly utilize. If I didn't have to silence my mind, I might just be able to handle meditation.
(OK, now, bear with me here, because this is going to appear to venture away from the subject at hand, but it will come back around, I promise.)
I am a runner. I have been runner for many years on many levels. I love running for so many reasons, many of which I have already outlined in detail in prior posts. I have been kicking around the thought of running a half marathon for some time now, but I keep chickening out. There is a local race in October I might try...maybe...if I get the guts.
In training (can you call it training when you haven't actually committed to a specific race?) for this half marathon, I have been venturing out on longer and longer runs. In the last two weeks, I have actually decided to take new routes at the spur of the moment, just to see how far they take me. That's about as wild and free as it gets for me! I'm pretty proud of this new found spontaneity! I'm also proud that I am increasing my distance considerably. I am now running 7.5 mile runs several times a week with a few 4-5 mile runs and the occasional 2-3 miler in there on less strenuous days. It's not good to run the long runs every day, so I keep them to once or twice a week. I don't like the 2 mile runs, because I feel like just when I get my groove, it's over. The 5 milers are perfect for the in-between days, but again, I digress. This was not intended to be a mileage tracking blog entry.
I am going for distance at this point, not speed. It takes me about 1:15 to run 7.5 miles. That's slow. I start out faster, but as the run progresses, I slow down. The last few runs, I purposefully started off slower in order to pace myself. I'm hoping that over time I can increase my overall pace, long term. I could definitely use some speed work, but for now, since I don't have a race lined up, I'm focusing on pushing the distances to see how far I can go. There's always room for speed work later, and I do notice that my shorter runs tend to be considerably faster - like 9:15/mile instead of 10:30. That's a big difference.
Running one and a quarter hours, several times a week gives me plenty of time to think. I have always used my runs to think. I think about conflicts I am having, dilemmas needing solved, nutrition and wellness stuff. I think of ways to handle difficult or touchy situations at work. I replay conversations I have had with people and digest their thoughts on things abstract topics. I also think often about my blog entries! Sometimes, if something is particularly pressing, I spend the majority of the run on one subject, but more often than not, my mind runs the gamut. Sometimes the thoughts are as fleeting as what I am going to eat for a recovery meal when I get home, or hoping that I don't have to stop somewhere to use the restroom! Pretty hum drum.
When I was running today, for some reason, I thought about the training I had a few weeks ago. When I run, I allow my mind to wander. Thoughts come freely in and out of focus. I don't generally judge the thoughts, because any negativity is bad for performance. If feel negative, I push it aside or counter it with a positive, something I am not always very good at doing when I am not running. It occurred to me that, although I am not sitting in silence, relaxed and deeply breathing, I am meditating much like the woman who presented the training. It's my time to reconnect with myself, with my body, my mind and my spirit. That connection is one of the reasons I need to run. Yes, it's about being physically fit. It's about pushing my own limits, breaking my own physical barriers. But it is also about breaking my mental barriers. Running gives me the time and the space I need to work through and jump over my own hurdles. It is my active meditation.
I could still probably benefit from some true meditation (and maybe even some yoga). I have a feeling that relaxation is something I will be striving for my entire life, but for now, I am happy to have found my own active therapy. I thank God daily, for a capable body and mind, which will hopefully carry me through to one day find my own contentment.
At this training, however, the woman spoke of a different kind of meditation that she does. I don't remember the exact name, but the premise is this: she sits quietly but she doesn't chant or do deep breathing exercises to cleanse her mind of all thoughts. Instead, she allows all her thoughts to appear in her mind, acknowledges them by simply saying to herself, "that's interesting," and then lets the thought leave on its own. She doesn't let the thoughts spark other thoughts and then become their own little mental drama, but she doesn't try to stifle her mental noise either. I found that to be an interesting take, and one that I could possibly utilize. If I didn't have to silence my mind, I might just be able to handle meditation.
(OK, now, bear with me here, because this is going to appear to venture away from the subject at hand, but it will come back around, I promise.)
I am a runner. I have been runner for many years on many levels. I love running for so many reasons, many of which I have already outlined in detail in prior posts. I have been kicking around the thought of running a half marathon for some time now, but I keep chickening out. There is a local race in October I might try...maybe...if I get the guts.
In training (can you call it training when you haven't actually committed to a specific race?) for this half marathon, I have been venturing out on longer and longer runs. In the last two weeks, I have actually decided to take new routes at the spur of the moment, just to see how far they take me. That's about as wild and free as it gets for me! I'm pretty proud of this new found spontaneity! I'm also proud that I am increasing my distance considerably. I am now running 7.5 mile runs several times a week with a few 4-5 mile runs and the occasional 2-3 miler in there on less strenuous days. It's not good to run the long runs every day, so I keep them to once or twice a week. I don't like the 2 mile runs, because I feel like just when I get my groove, it's over. The 5 milers are perfect for the in-between days, but again, I digress. This was not intended to be a mileage tracking blog entry.
I am going for distance at this point, not speed. It takes me about 1:15 to run 7.5 miles. That's slow. I start out faster, but as the run progresses, I slow down. The last few runs, I purposefully started off slower in order to pace myself. I'm hoping that over time I can increase my overall pace, long term. I could definitely use some speed work, but for now, since I don't have a race lined up, I'm focusing on pushing the distances to see how far I can go. There's always room for speed work later, and I do notice that my shorter runs tend to be considerably faster - like 9:15/mile instead of 10:30. That's a big difference.
Running one and a quarter hours, several times a week gives me plenty of time to think. I have always used my runs to think. I think about conflicts I am having, dilemmas needing solved, nutrition and wellness stuff. I think of ways to handle difficult or touchy situations at work. I replay conversations I have had with people and digest their thoughts on things abstract topics. I also think often about my blog entries! Sometimes, if something is particularly pressing, I spend the majority of the run on one subject, but more often than not, my mind runs the gamut. Sometimes the thoughts are as fleeting as what I am going to eat for a recovery meal when I get home, or hoping that I don't have to stop somewhere to use the restroom! Pretty hum drum.
When I was running today, for some reason, I thought about the training I had a few weeks ago. When I run, I allow my mind to wander. Thoughts come freely in and out of focus. I don't generally judge the thoughts, because any negativity is bad for performance. If feel negative, I push it aside or counter it with a positive, something I am not always very good at doing when I am not running. It occurred to me that, although I am not sitting in silence, relaxed and deeply breathing, I am meditating much like the woman who presented the training. It's my time to reconnect with myself, with my body, my mind and my spirit. That connection is one of the reasons I need to run. Yes, it's about being physically fit. It's about pushing my own limits, breaking my own physical barriers. But it is also about breaking my mental barriers. Running gives me the time and the space I need to work through and jump over my own hurdles. It is my active meditation.
I could still probably benefit from some true meditation (and maybe even some yoga). I have a feeling that relaxation is something I will be striving for my entire life, but for now, I am happy to have found my own active therapy. I thank God daily, for a capable body and mind, which will hopefully carry me through to one day find my own contentment.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Just Shoot
I walked onto my porch after work today and saw this:
Un-freaking-believable. I think it's time to get out the B.B. gun.Monday, March 21, 2011
Bird Brain
Over the last month, I have come to fully realize the origin of the term "bird brain." Last year, a bird built its nest in the rafters of our front porch. All summer I battled a disgusting mess which came from this nest - sticks, dirt and poop, poop, poop were everywhere for months. It was disgusting. When the summer ended, Greg cleaned out the unused nest and we hoped that was the end of sharing our living space with this bird.
We were wrong.
About a month ago, I noticed the beginnings of a nest in the same spot as last year. I told Greg and he promptly cleaned out the nest before any eggs could be laid. Whew. Situation avoided. Thank goodness!
Well, not really. About a week later, I noticed the beginnings of another nest. Unbelievable! I told Greg and he cleaned it out yet again. Surely a bird would not build there after having its home destroyed twice. That had to be the end of it.
Nope. Sure enough, it built again. I cleaned out the twigs this time. Gross. There was dirt and dust and grime all over, but luckily no eggs yet. As the saying goes, "the third time is a charm." I was certain that the bird crisis was over.
It wasn't. Yesterday I was on the porch with the boys, and this is what I saw:
That God-forsaken bird built another freaking nest!!! What in the world is wrong with the stupid creature? From predator/prey standpoint, it seems to me that this bird is incredibly dumb to continue to build a home in a spot which has been ransacked 4 times already (if you count taking it down at the end last year)! Seriously, how good are its survival skills?
To make matters worse,the stupid bird sat by and watched me rip apart all of his hard work!
There he is again.
At this point, I'm sending up a prayer to St Francis: please don't let the dumb thing build again. I just can't take it. I hate birds. They're so dirty, and I just don't want a nest on my porch. There are perfectly good trees all around us. Help this bird find real estate options elsewhere.
While I was cleaning up the bird's fourth home building attempt and scooping up 75 piles of dog dirt in my yard (I took care of my mom's dogs while they were away last week), Andrew was creating a masterpiece in the dust on the coffee table on the porch. "Mom, it's you and Daddy!" he said. Yes, that's about how dirty I felt at that moment.
We were wrong.
About a month ago, I noticed the beginnings of a nest in the same spot as last year. I told Greg and he promptly cleaned out the nest before any eggs could be laid. Whew. Situation avoided. Thank goodness!
Well, not really. About a week later, I noticed the beginnings of another nest. Unbelievable! I told Greg and he cleaned it out yet again. Surely a bird would not build there after having its home destroyed twice. That had to be the end of it.
Nope. Sure enough, it built again. I cleaned out the twigs this time. Gross. There was dirt and dust and grime all over, but luckily no eggs yet. As the saying goes, "the third time is a charm." I was certain that the bird crisis was over.
It wasn't. Yesterday I was on the porch with the boys, and this is what I saw:
That God-forsaken bird built another freaking nest!!! What in the world is wrong with the stupid creature? From predator/prey standpoint, it seems to me that this bird is incredibly dumb to continue to build a home in a spot which has been ransacked 4 times already (if you count taking it down at the end last year)! Seriously, how good are its survival skills? 
To make matters worse,the stupid bird sat by and watched me rip apart all of his hard work!
There he is again.At this point, I'm sending up a prayer to St Francis: please don't let the dumb thing build again. I just can't take it. I hate birds. They're so dirty, and I just don't want a nest on my porch. There are perfectly good trees all around us. Help this bird find real estate options elsewhere.
While I was cleaning up the bird's fourth home building attempt and scooping up 75 piles of dog dirt in my yard (I took care of my mom's dogs while they were away last week), Andrew was creating a masterpiece in the dust on the coffee table on the porch. "Mom, it's you and Daddy!" he said. Yes, that's about how dirty I felt at that moment.Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday, Sunday
What do you do with two boys, 5 years apart, that they can both enjoy? Well, today it was a playground in the morning and duck/fish feeding in the afternoon. All I can say is "Thank God for good weather!"
Swinging together
Andrew loved the tire swing
The Roaring Spring fish preferred the butter flavored popcorn. Apparently, so did Jacob.
"Look, Mom. I have more popcorn left than Jacob!"
"Here fishy, fishy, fishy!"
Mmmm...popcorn...
"Jake! You're eating it all!"
Chasing ducks with sticks, probably not the most effective way to make friends.
Chasing your brother with a stick...also probably not the best "get in good" strategy.
But, who needs friends, when you have such a big stick?!
"Watch me break this stick over my knee in a single swoop!"
"Holy cats! That hurt!"
And, before we leave, one final attempt at spearing a duck. Hey, he's just trying to provide our dinner, right?
Swinging together
Andrew loved the tire swing
The Roaring Spring fish preferred the butter flavored popcorn. Apparently, so did Jacob.
"Look, Mom. I have more popcorn left than Jacob!"
"Here fishy, fishy, fishy!"
Mmmm...popcorn...
"Jake! You're eating it all!"
Chasing ducks with sticks, probably not the most effective way to make friends.
Chasing your brother with a stick...also probably not the best "get in good" strategy.
But, who needs friends, when you have such a big stick?!
"Watch me break this stick over my knee in a single swoop!"
"Holy cats! That hurt!"
And, before we leave, one final attempt at spearing a duck. Hey, he's just trying to provide our dinner, right?Saturday, March 19, 2011
Who Needs Sleep?
I have had trouble sleeping for as long as I can remember. It runs on my mother’s side of the family. My mom and sister don’t sleep well. My aunt Carmen doesn’t sleep well, and neither did my grandmother. I actually remember sitting up at night with my grandmother while she listened to Sallie Jessie Raphael on talk radio and did arm circle exercises in bed. I also have memories of sitting with her on the living room couch in the in the middle of the night as we watched the headlights of cars snaking down the mountain across the valley. She had a valve replaced in her heart the year I was born, so when the house was silent, I could literally hear her heart beating like a wind-up clock. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. In these memories I am about 5 or 6 years old. I am 34 now. That’s a long time to wait for a peaceful night’s slumber.
While I look back fondly on those memories, I still long for a deep, sound sleep. I have tried many, many remedies over the years, but have never found one that worked well. Everything I tried either didn’t work or had nasty side effects, and believe me, I have run the gamut looking for a cure. Aside from drugs, both over the counter and prescribed, I tried behavioral modification, massage therapy, cognitive modificati, herbal elixirs. You name it, I’ve tried it and was disappointed by it. Until recently, that is.
A few months ago, my chiropractor gave me a pill call Min Chex. It has all kinds of crazy natural stuff in it, designed to calm one’s mind and improve sleep. After taking it for two weeks, my sleep drastically improved. I still woke up 5 times a night, but instead of tossing and turning and then eventually getting out of bed at 3 in the morning, I would simply look at the clock, close my eyes and drift right back to sleep. It was the magic pill I had been waiting for my whole life!
This pill is supposed to help people relax in general and help with sleep. It certainly helped me relax. After about a month of taking it, I started noticing that I wasn’t nearly as wound up about getting everything in order, planning my week, cleaning the house, etc. as usual.
Let me give you some background. I have always considered myself to be “highly motivated.” I have never been a procrastinator, always a planner. If we are having a family gathering, I know the menu, purchase all non-perishable items and probably send out invitations at least two months in advance, if not more. My house is usually clean. If I say I am behind on cleaning, that is probably a huge exaggeration, especially in comparison to most normal people. I clean something every day, most days I clean many things. I reorganize my cupboards every time I unload the dishwasher. I clean out the fridge every week before I do my grocery shopping. All the towels in my linen closet are folded and facing the same direction. I fold my underwear. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is grab my coffee and begin some kind of chore, be it laundry or unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the bathroom, whatever. Got the picture? I just don’t let things sit. I can’t. It’s not in my personality.
Well, a month into taking this pill, I started noticing that I just didn’t want to do all of those extra things all the time. At first I stopped doing the extra load of laundry before bed. Then it moved to letting the breakfast dishes sit in the sink until I got home from work. Several weekends I didn’t iron all of our clothes for the week. A few days when I woke up, I felt so completely unmotivated to get dressed, I let the boys sleep in and was actually late for work! (OK, not late to the point that I was going to get into trouble, but later than usual for me).
Now, some of you may be thinking that it’s about time I started relaxing a little and letting the dishes go. You’re probably right to a degree, but it wasn’t the right kind of relaxing. It was more like apathy than leisure. I started feeling burned out, like I just didn’t care about doing those things. Then, I would be even more stressed than usual because I was unprepared for my life. I even cut back on running, not because I didn’t have the time, but because I just didn’t feel motivated to go. That was a huge clue to me that something out of the ordinary was wrong with me. I used to spend my days trying to figure out how I could rearrange my schedule in order to fit in a run, not trying to find excuses to avoid running. This new found relaxation was actually stressing me out.
I wracked my brain trying to figure out why I suddenly felt so damned overwhelmed and then it dawned on me. Could it be the pills? I decided to stop taking them and see how I felt. Within 3 days of stopping I felt better. My motivation returned with gusto. Yesterday I had an all day training for work. For some reason, they gave us an hour and a half for lunch. I ran to Giant Eagle, did my shopping for the week, even stopped to chat with an old friend for a moment, ran the groceries home, unloaded them and still made it back to the training center with 15 minutes to spare. When I got home, I made the boys dinner and then we walked the dogs up to my mom’s house for a while. We came home and while the boys played on the porch, I cleaned it. I also vacuumed and mopped all the floors down stairs and cleaned the bathroom all before 8 p.m. I put the boys to bed, read Jacob a ridiculously large number of pages from a book on sea life, and even had enough energy to make love to my husband before going to bed. We both went to be happy last night.
This morning I hit the ground running, as usual. I did some chores, had a friend’s daughter watch the boys for an hour while I ran (5 miles today), made soup when I got home, took the boys to Target and did some other odds and ends before Andrew’s nap time. After the last few days, I have no doubt that my magic sleep elixir was the cause of my general apathy. What a bummer. There's still no magic after all.
What happened to my sleep patterns? Well, as quickly as my mood returned, so did my insomnia. I’m right back at square one. I usually get a good two to three hours of solid sleep, then I drift in and out of semi-sleep for the rest of the night until I finally get frustrated enough that I get out of bed…and start doing housework!
Insomnia bothers me. It bothers me quite a bit. There have been times when I have considered bartering one of my limbs just for a good night’s sleep. My uptight, type-A personality also bothers me at times. I do need to learn how to relax a little and enjoy just being, without worrying about planning for the next step. However, I have learned one thing through the last several months: as much as both my intensity and my insomnia bother me, I would not trade either of them, if it meant changing my personality. I am who I am, and instead of trying to change myself all the time, I should rather simply embrace it. Perhaps in going with my own flow and ending the fight with myself, I will find my own methods of relaxation.
A few days ago, I was talking to an acquaintance about insomnia. “Some day, before I die, I will get a good night’s sleep,” I said. “I hope so," she said, "But if you don’t, you have all the time in the world to sleep afterwards!” True enough. True enough. Perhaps sleep is over-rated after all. At least I recognize the real value of planning ahead and being prepared. I’ll take that over a few hours of shut-eye any day!
While I look back fondly on those memories, I still long for a deep, sound sleep. I have tried many, many remedies over the years, but have never found one that worked well. Everything I tried either didn’t work or had nasty side effects, and believe me, I have run the gamut looking for a cure. Aside from drugs, both over the counter and prescribed, I tried behavioral modification, massage therapy, cognitive modificati, herbal elixirs. You name it, I’ve tried it and was disappointed by it. Until recently, that is.
A few months ago, my chiropractor gave me a pill call Min Chex. It has all kinds of crazy natural stuff in it, designed to calm one’s mind and improve sleep. After taking it for two weeks, my sleep drastically improved. I still woke up 5 times a night, but instead of tossing and turning and then eventually getting out of bed at 3 in the morning, I would simply look at the clock, close my eyes and drift right back to sleep. It was the magic pill I had been waiting for my whole life!
This pill is supposed to help people relax in general and help with sleep. It certainly helped me relax. After about a month of taking it, I started noticing that I wasn’t nearly as wound up about getting everything in order, planning my week, cleaning the house, etc. as usual.
Let me give you some background. I have always considered myself to be “highly motivated.” I have never been a procrastinator, always a planner. If we are having a family gathering, I know the menu, purchase all non-perishable items and probably send out invitations at least two months in advance, if not more. My house is usually clean. If I say I am behind on cleaning, that is probably a huge exaggeration, especially in comparison to most normal people. I clean something every day, most days I clean many things. I reorganize my cupboards every time I unload the dishwasher. I clean out the fridge every week before I do my grocery shopping. All the towels in my linen closet are folded and facing the same direction. I fold my underwear. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is grab my coffee and begin some kind of chore, be it laundry or unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the bathroom, whatever. Got the picture? I just don’t let things sit. I can’t. It’s not in my personality.
Well, a month into taking this pill, I started noticing that I just didn’t want to do all of those extra things all the time. At first I stopped doing the extra load of laundry before bed. Then it moved to letting the breakfast dishes sit in the sink until I got home from work. Several weekends I didn’t iron all of our clothes for the week. A few days when I woke up, I felt so completely unmotivated to get dressed, I let the boys sleep in and was actually late for work! (OK, not late to the point that I was going to get into trouble, but later than usual for me).
Now, some of you may be thinking that it’s about time I started relaxing a little and letting the dishes go. You’re probably right to a degree, but it wasn’t the right kind of relaxing. It was more like apathy than leisure. I started feeling burned out, like I just didn’t care about doing those things. Then, I would be even more stressed than usual because I was unprepared for my life. I even cut back on running, not because I didn’t have the time, but because I just didn’t feel motivated to go. That was a huge clue to me that something out of the ordinary was wrong with me. I used to spend my days trying to figure out how I could rearrange my schedule in order to fit in a run, not trying to find excuses to avoid running. This new found relaxation was actually stressing me out.
I wracked my brain trying to figure out why I suddenly felt so damned overwhelmed and then it dawned on me. Could it be the pills? I decided to stop taking them and see how I felt. Within 3 days of stopping I felt better. My motivation returned with gusto. Yesterday I had an all day training for work. For some reason, they gave us an hour and a half for lunch. I ran to Giant Eagle, did my shopping for the week, even stopped to chat with an old friend for a moment, ran the groceries home, unloaded them and still made it back to the training center with 15 minutes to spare. When I got home, I made the boys dinner and then we walked the dogs up to my mom’s house for a while. We came home and while the boys played on the porch, I cleaned it. I also vacuumed and mopped all the floors down stairs and cleaned the bathroom all before 8 p.m. I put the boys to bed, read Jacob a ridiculously large number of pages from a book on sea life, and even had enough energy to make love to my husband before going to bed. We both went to be happy last night.
This morning I hit the ground running, as usual. I did some chores, had a friend’s daughter watch the boys for an hour while I ran (5 miles today), made soup when I got home, took the boys to Target and did some other odds and ends before Andrew’s nap time. After the last few days, I have no doubt that my magic sleep elixir was the cause of my general apathy. What a bummer. There's still no magic after all.
What happened to my sleep patterns? Well, as quickly as my mood returned, so did my insomnia. I’m right back at square one. I usually get a good two to three hours of solid sleep, then I drift in and out of semi-sleep for the rest of the night until I finally get frustrated enough that I get out of bed…and start doing housework!
Insomnia bothers me. It bothers me quite a bit. There have been times when I have considered bartering one of my limbs just for a good night’s sleep. My uptight, type-A personality also bothers me at times. I do need to learn how to relax a little and enjoy just being, without worrying about planning for the next step. However, I have learned one thing through the last several months: as much as both my intensity and my insomnia bother me, I would not trade either of them, if it meant changing my personality. I am who I am, and instead of trying to change myself all the time, I should rather simply embrace it. Perhaps in going with my own flow and ending the fight with myself, I will find my own methods of relaxation.
A few days ago, I was talking to an acquaintance about insomnia. “Some day, before I die, I will get a good night’s sleep,” I said. “I hope so," she said, "But if you don’t, you have all the time in the world to sleep afterwards!” True enough. True enough. Perhaps sleep is over-rated after all. At least I recognize the real value of planning ahead and being prepared. I’ll take that over a few hours of shut-eye any day!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Beauty Queen
Want to know my stay-young-forever, no-fail beauty secrets? Well, they are highly classified, but just because you are my loyal readers, I will share them with you.
1. I use Crest White Strips once every two years. Not the expensive, 3D, extra vivid, new-and-improved high tech applicator, professional-results-in-three-days White Strips, but rather the regular old, run of the mill, $20 ones. I have considered doing it every year, but they make my teeth ache, so every other year is what I have settled on.
2. I almost always give myself enough time in the morning to allow my hair to mostly air dry. Blowers destroy hair, and fancy styles are over-rated. Pony tails work just fine. If I'm feeling particularly excited about the day, I might go crazy and do a french braid.
3. When it comes to make-up, less is more. I hate when people have visibly caked on foundation and powder. A little mascara and some light eye shadow will do just fine. If it's a night out on the town, I throw on some lip gloss too. Viola. Finished face!
4. Every morning I start the day with a shot of apple cider vinegar chased by 12 ounces of water. The cider vinegar is cleansing, and water is essential on so many levels. I pair each cup of coffee I drink with a glass of water. I'm not giving up on the caffeine, so I figure the water helps to flush the drug from my system, minimizing the dehydration (among other damage) it causes. If you choose to use this tactic, don't stray far from a bathroom. Coffee is a diuretic and with all that liquid, well...
5. When it comes to clothing, comfort is key. Granted, there are times when I have to wear nice pants or even a skirt or dress. That's fine. I can deal for a short while, but I almost always change into jeans, or better yet, an old pair of comfy, torn and stained sweatpants that I have had since college, as soon as I get home. The paint stains add character and remind me of my various home improvement projects. Yes, I have left the house wearing these pants.
6. I always use moisturizer, especially on my face. My facial moisturizer also has an SPF 15.
That's all she wrote! Those tips, my friends, pretty much sum up my daily beauty routine. If you follow these rules of thumb, you too could look this stunning:
1. I use Crest White Strips once every two years. Not the expensive, 3D, extra vivid, new-and-improved high tech applicator, professional-results-in-three-days White Strips, but rather the regular old, run of the mill, $20 ones. I have considered doing it every year, but they make my teeth ache, so every other year is what I have settled on.
2. I almost always give myself enough time in the morning to allow my hair to mostly air dry. Blowers destroy hair, and fancy styles are over-rated. Pony tails work just fine. If I'm feeling particularly excited about the day, I might go crazy and do a french braid.
3. When it comes to make-up, less is more. I hate when people have visibly caked on foundation and powder. A little mascara and some light eye shadow will do just fine. If it's a night out on the town, I throw on some lip gloss too. Viola. Finished face!
4. Every morning I start the day with a shot of apple cider vinegar chased by 12 ounces of water. The cider vinegar is cleansing, and water is essential on so many levels. I pair each cup of coffee I drink with a glass of water. I'm not giving up on the caffeine, so I figure the water helps to flush the drug from my system, minimizing the dehydration (among other damage) it causes. If you choose to use this tactic, don't stray far from a bathroom. Coffee is a diuretic and with all that liquid, well...
5. When it comes to clothing, comfort is key. Granted, there are times when I have to wear nice pants or even a skirt or dress. That's fine. I can deal for a short while, but I almost always change into jeans, or better yet, an old pair of comfy, torn and stained sweatpants that I have had since college, as soon as I get home. The paint stains add character and remind me of my various home improvement projects. Yes, I have left the house wearing these pants.
6. I always use moisturizer, especially on my face. My facial moisturizer also has an SPF 15.
That's all she wrote! Those tips, my friends, pretty much sum up my daily beauty routine. If you follow these rules of thumb, you too could look this stunning:
Whoa. Not convinced of the effectiveness of my strategies? Yeah....me either. Would someone please nominate me for a make-over!
But, hey, the White Strips are working, right? Look at those pearly whites!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Lazy Bunny
The Easter Bunny has a cushy job. I mean, Santa has to sit at the mall for hours on end from well before Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve. That's like 6 weeks of crying babies, demanding kids, irritable parents, all while talking, smiling and "Ho, Ho, Hoing."
The Easter Bunny, on the other hand, is only available to the public for 3 weeks. Sure, he still has to deal with the crowds and their moods, but he doesn't say a word, and he doesn't even smile. Whoever heard of a smiling rabbit anyway? He just sits in his little fluffy cocoon and nods his head, for only half the time of poor old Santa. The bunny gets no points in my book!
In case you hadn't figured it out already - if you were planning to head to the Logan Valley Mall to see the bunny, don't. He's not coming until April 2nd. We found out the hard way:
But, we filled his absence with a rest on a bench and two strawberry Julius's. Andrew's expression is pained because, well, he was in pain. The poor kid just hasn't figured out how to drink cold drinks yet, and by the time I snapped this photo, he had already given himself 3 bouts of brain freeze, or "frane freeth" as he calls it.
The funniest story I ever heard about the Easter Bunny was actually from a friend of mine whose daughter is only a few years younger than me. When I was growing up, the person wearing the bunny suit looked out through a mesh area in the mouth instead of through the eyes like it is today. Pat took his daughter Nicole, who was four or five, to the mall for a visit. She jumped up on his lap and then suddenly froze. She stopped speaking, stared blankly at the camera, and quickly hopped off of the rabbit's lap and into her dad's arms. "What's a matter?" he asked her.
"Dad, I thought you said the Easter Bunny liked little kids?"
"He does like kids. Why would you say that?"
She paused for a moment before saying, "Because he ate the last kid that sat on his lap!"
I chuckle every time I think of that story! She saw the person's face through the mouth mesh and thought it was some previous kindergartner struggling to get out of the rabid rabbit's belly! Poor kid probably never had good feelings about the Easter Bunny after that experience!
So, my boys were disappointed by the lack of bunny, but at least they weren't scarred for life! And they are easily appeased by food. A trip to the Orange Julius and Gardeners has a way of making everything better!
The Easter Bunny, on the other hand, is only available to the public for 3 weeks. Sure, he still has to deal with the crowds and their moods, but he doesn't say a word, and he doesn't even smile. Whoever heard of a smiling rabbit anyway? He just sits in his little fluffy cocoon and nods his head, for only half the time of poor old Santa. The bunny gets no points in my book!
In case you hadn't figured it out already - if you were planning to head to the Logan Valley Mall to see the bunny, don't. He's not coming until April 2nd. We found out the hard way:
But, we filled his absence with a rest on a bench and two strawberry Julius's. Andrew's expression is pained because, well, he was in pain. The poor kid just hasn't figured out how to drink cold drinks yet, and by the time I snapped this photo, he had already given himself 3 bouts of brain freeze, or "frane freeth" as he calls it.The funniest story I ever heard about the Easter Bunny was actually from a friend of mine whose daughter is only a few years younger than me. When I was growing up, the person wearing the bunny suit looked out through a mesh area in the mouth instead of through the eyes like it is today. Pat took his daughter Nicole, who was four or five, to the mall for a visit. She jumped up on his lap and then suddenly froze. She stopped speaking, stared blankly at the camera, and quickly hopped off of the rabbit's lap and into her dad's arms. "What's a matter?" he asked her.
"Dad, I thought you said the Easter Bunny liked little kids?"
"He does like kids. Why would you say that?"
She paused for a moment before saying, "Because he ate the last kid that sat on his lap!"
I chuckle every time I think of that story! She saw the person's face through the mouth mesh and thought it was some previous kindergartner struggling to get out of the rabid rabbit's belly! Poor kid probably never had good feelings about the Easter Bunny after that experience!
So, my boys were disappointed by the lack of bunny, but at least they weren't scarred for life! And they are easily appeased by food. A trip to the Orange Julius and Gardeners has a way of making everything better!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Ahhh...
Life has been a little stressful here lately. Work has been crazy. I've been working a lot of evenings and long days, and the visible end for that hectic schedule won't come until June. That's a long way off!
Yesterday, I planned to go to work in the morning, then run, go grocery shopping, get Jacob and take him to see Rango. (Jake had the day off of school for parent conferences and spent the night at my parents on Thursday). Well, on Friday morning, since I didn't need to leave the house by 745 to get Jake to school, I decided to let Andrew sleep in. He didn't get up until 845! By the time he ate his breakfast and got ready for the day, it was already almost 930. I told Andrew that he was going to school and he cried. The other night when I had to go back to work in the evening, he literally climbed up my body, begging for me to take him with me. A mom can only take so much of that kind of behavior, especially when I know it's because he really does miss me, not because he's just acting up. It's heartbreaking.
So, I decided to give him a few more hours of "mom time." I decided to shorten my work day, and I took Andrew to work with me for a little while. I dropped him off at Harbor House just before lunch, went to the grocery store, came home and unloaded the groceries and then went for my run. My dad had Jake, and was taking him out to lunch, so he didn't drop Jacob off until 230. Since I had some spare time, I took a nap! Ah! Sweet sleep! How I love it!
When Jacob came home, he and I played a ridiculous Pokemon card game that he invented, which was impossible for me to win. He changed the rules with each turn he took! We finished up, and headed to the 4 p.m. showing of Rango. It was a cute movie. We both enjoyed it. I had to laugh at Jake, though. He's such an old man in a child's body. Before the movie, when the announcement to find the nearest emergency exit came on, he quickly looked around and located all of the exits. "Ours is right here, mom." OK....thanks, Buddy. What child worries about an emergency evacuation of a movie theater? Only Jake.
Then there was a preview for a movie about the girl whose arm was bitten off by a shark. I said to him, "That's a true story." He said nothing for about 15 minutes, and then suddenly (and loudly) blurted out, "Mom, I don't think I'm going to surf. There are too many dangerous animals in the ocean. I mean, sharks and jelly fish are probably our biggest enemies in the water. Now, regular fish probably wouldn't hurt, but sharks, sharks could do a lot of damage. That's why I'm sticking to land sports." Good idea, Jake. Stick to land sports!
After dinner, Jacob and I went to Friendly's for dinner. I tried not to visibly cringe when he ordered a drink full of blue dye and sugar, followed by a dinner full of processed carbohydrates and then an ice cream sundae for dessert. It was a special day for us, so I just watched silently as he consumed mounds of disgusting and unhealthy foods. I was tempted to get a sandwich, but in sticking to my word, I ordered a chicken salad with walnuts and apples instead.
Jacob wanted to spend one more night with my parents, so he stayed there and Andrew and I finished off the night snuggling and watching "Finding Nemo" together. It was a very nice day. I was able to spend quality time with each of my boys individually, without the stress of them competing with each other or fighting. I finished my grocery shopping ahead of the weekend crowd, got in a decent run and even took a nap! I wish every day could go so smoothly!
Royal Razz...pure blue bliss.
Burgers on sticks. Of course, who wouldn't want that meal?
Looking a little dazed by the end of the sundae.
Andrew and me playing on the couch. I know, it's blurry. It's a cell phone picture that I took myself. Hardly good quality, but we are both laughing, and I like the smiles. What a sweet end to a sweet day!
Yesterday, I planned to go to work in the morning, then run, go grocery shopping, get Jacob and take him to see Rango. (Jake had the day off of school for parent conferences and spent the night at my parents on Thursday). Well, on Friday morning, since I didn't need to leave the house by 745 to get Jake to school, I decided to let Andrew sleep in. He didn't get up until 845! By the time he ate his breakfast and got ready for the day, it was already almost 930. I told Andrew that he was going to school and he cried. The other night when I had to go back to work in the evening, he literally climbed up my body, begging for me to take him with me. A mom can only take so much of that kind of behavior, especially when I know it's because he really does miss me, not because he's just acting up. It's heartbreaking.
So, I decided to give him a few more hours of "mom time." I decided to shorten my work day, and I took Andrew to work with me for a little while. I dropped him off at Harbor House just before lunch, went to the grocery store, came home and unloaded the groceries and then went for my run. My dad had Jake, and was taking him out to lunch, so he didn't drop Jacob off until 230. Since I had some spare time, I took a nap! Ah! Sweet sleep! How I love it!
When Jacob came home, he and I played a ridiculous Pokemon card game that he invented, which was impossible for me to win. He changed the rules with each turn he took! We finished up, and headed to the 4 p.m. showing of Rango. It was a cute movie. We both enjoyed it. I had to laugh at Jake, though. He's such an old man in a child's body. Before the movie, when the announcement to find the nearest emergency exit came on, he quickly looked around and located all of the exits. "Ours is right here, mom." OK....thanks, Buddy. What child worries about an emergency evacuation of a movie theater? Only Jake.
Then there was a preview for a movie about the girl whose arm was bitten off by a shark. I said to him, "That's a true story." He said nothing for about 15 minutes, and then suddenly (and loudly) blurted out, "Mom, I don't think I'm going to surf. There are too many dangerous animals in the ocean. I mean, sharks and jelly fish are probably our biggest enemies in the water. Now, regular fish probably wouldn't hurt, but sharks, sharks could do a lot of damage. That's why I'm sticking to land sports." Good idea, Jake. Stick to land sports!
After dinner, Jacob and I went to Friendly's for dinner. I tried not to visibly cringe when he ordered a drink full of blue dye and sugar, followed by a dinner full of processed carbohydrates and then an ice cream sundae for dessert. It was a special day for us, so I just watched silently as he consumed mounds of disgusting and unhealthy foods. I was tempted to get a sandwich, but in sticking to my word, I ordered a chicken salad with walnuts and apples instead.
Jacob wanted to spend one more night with my parents, so he stayed there and Andrew and I finished off the night snuggling and watching "Finding Nemo" together. It was a very nice day. I was able to spend quality time with each of my boys individually, without the stress of them competing with each other or fighting. I finished my grocery shopping ahead of the weekend crowd, got in a decent run and even took a nap! I wish every day could go so smoothly!
Royal Razz...pure blue bliss.
Burgers on sticks. Of course, who wouldn't want that meal?
Looking a little dazed by the end of the sundae.
Andrew and me playing on the couch. I know, it's blurry. It's a cell phone picture that I took myself. Hardly good quality, but we are both laughing, and I like the smiles. What a sweet end to a sweet day!Friday, March 11, 2011
Recipes
It's been a while since I posted any recipes. Honestly, I haven't tried much new and exciting lately, but have rather been sticking with my old standbys. When I get really busy (which I have been lately) I don't have much time to search out new meals, and I also don't have much time to spend in the kitchen making new things. Instead, I make what is familiar and healthy. It's good to have an arsenal of healthy recipes on hand, but I admit that I get bored easily by eating the same old food. I'm not a person who embraces change, except when it comes to our menu! Hopefully the chaos will settle down somewhat soon (maybe), and I can do some more searching. Until then, here's what I'm making right now. Sorry for the lack of pictures - it really shows how busy we are when I don't have photos!!!
First up, Sweet Potato and Chickpea Curry
Cooked brown rice
2 tbsp olive oil
1 small yellow onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
thumb sized piece of fresh ginger, peeled and minced (I used dried ground ginger - about 1/2 tsp)
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped
1 tbsp curry powder
1 large sweet potato, cut into 1/2 inch slices
15 oz can of chickpeas
15 oz can of coconut milk (shake before adding)
1/2 cup frozen peas
15 oz can diced tomatoes
1 cup water
In heavy sauce pan, heat the oil over high heat. Add onions, garlic and jalapeno. Cook 5 minutes, or until everything is softened. Add the curry powder and stir for 30 seconds. Add salt and pepper (you can add this later, to taste, if you want. I found that this dish needed a good deal of salt).
Add sweet potato, chickpeas, coconut milk, and water. Increase the heat and bring to a boil. As soon as it starts boiling, reduce the heat and simmer until the sweet potato is tender (about 15-30 minutes, depending on the size of your chunks). Add peas and tomatoes, stir until they are heated through. Serve over rice.
Updated Green Smoothie
2 cups water
1 cup spinach (or more, I use tons)
3 stalks celery, chopped
1 banana
1 apple
juice from 1/2 lemon
4 tbsp ground flax seed
You can substitute any fruit for the apple. I have used pears and raspberries as well. I think strawberries would be good too. If you like a thinner drink, add more water. The flax gives you some healthy fat and extra fiber, as well as some Omega 3's, which we all need more of. This recipe makes about 2 12-15 ounce servings. I make a batch, drink one glass, and stick the rest in the fridge for a day. This has been my breakfast of choice lately, because it's fast, easy and portable!
No Cream, Cream of Broccoli Soup
This is a very old favorite of mine. I came across this recipe in our local newspaper shortly after Greg and I got married. I can't remember if I already shared this recipe or not, so if it's a duplicate, well, just ignore it! If not, then I highly recommend making it!
1 cup chopped carrots (I always use a little more of the veggies than called for)
1 cup chopped celery
3/4 cup chopped onion (I just use one whole onion)
3 tbsp oil
32 oz chicken broth
1/2 tsp pepper
4 1/2 cups broccoli florets (I use two giant heads of broccoli, chopped. I have no idea how much I actually put in, but I'm sure it's way more than 4 cups -probably closer to 6)
1/2 cup cooked brown rice
2 cups milk
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese (I use closer to 1/2 cup)
Cook carrots, celery and onions in hot oil in large pot for 5 minutes. Add broth and pepper, bring to a boil.
Stir in broccoli and rice. Reduce heat and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until veggies are tender.
Using a immersion blender, blend until reaching your desired consistency (I like it mostly smooth, with a few veggie chunks). You can also use a blender and puree the soup in batches, if you don't have an immersion blender.
Add milk and cheese and cook until heated through.
That's all I've got for you right now, but rest assured, I will post more good eats as I come upon them! Bon Appetit!
First up, Sweet Potato and Chickpea Curry
Cooked brown rice2 tbsp olive oil
1 small yellow onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
thumb sized piece of fresh ginger, peeled and minced (I used dried ground ginger - about 1/2 tsp)
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped
1 tbsp curry powder
1 large sweet potato, cut into 1/2 inch slices
15 oz can of chickpeas
15 oz can of coconut milk (shake before adding)
1/2 cup frozen peas
15 oz can diced tomatoes
1 cup water
In heavy sauce pan, heat the oil over high heat. Add onions, garlic and jalapeno. Cook 5 minutes, or until everything is softened. Add the curry powder and stir for 30 seconds. Add salt and pepper (you can add this later, to taste, if you want. I found that this dish needed a good deal of salt).
Add sweet potato, chickpeas, coconut milk, and water. Increase the heat and bring to a boil. As soon as it starts boiling, reduce the heat and simmer until the sweet potato is tender (about 15-30 minutes, depending on the size of your chunks). Add peas and tomatoes, stir until they are heated through. Serve over rice.
Updated Green Smoothie
2 cups water
1 cup spinach (or more, I use tons)
3 stalks celery, chopped
1 banana
1 apple
juice from 1/2 lemon
4 tbsp ground flax seed
You can substitute any fruit for the apple. I have used pears and raspberries as well. I think strawberries would be good too. If you like a thinner drink, add more water. The flax gives you some healthy fat and extra fiber, as well as some Omega 3's, which we all need more of. This recipe makes about 2 12-15 ounce servings. I make a batch, drink one glass, and stick the rest in the fridge for a day. This has been my breakfast of choice lately, because it's fast, easy and portable!
No Cream, Cream of Broccoli Soup
This is a very old favorite of mine. I came across this recipe in our local newspaper shortly after Greg and I got married. I can't remember if I already shared this recipe or not, so if it's a duplicate, well, just ignore it! If not, then I highly recommend making it!
1 cup chopped carrots (I always use a little more of the veggies than called for)
1 cup chopped celery
3/4 cup chopped onion (I just use one whole onion)
3 tbsp oil
32 oz chicken broth
1/2 tsp pepper
4 1/2 cups broccoli florets (I use two giant heads of broccoli, chopped. I have no idea how much I actually put in, but I'm sure it's way more than 4 cups -probably closer to 6)
1/2 cup cooked brown rice
2 cups milk
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese (I use closer to 1/2 cup)
Cook carrots, celery and onions in hot oil in large pot for 5 minutes. Add broth and pepper, bring to a boil.
Stir in broccoli and rice. Reduce heat and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until veggies are tender.
Using a immersion blender, blend until reaching your desired consistency (I like it mostly smooth, with a few veggie chunks). You can also use a blender and puree the soup in batches, if you don't have an immersion blender.
Add milk and cheese and cook until heated through.
That's all I've got for you right now, but rest assured, I will post more good eats as I come upon them! Bon Appetit!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Dinner Drama
Dinner time at my house is nothing short of pure torture. Before you say it, let me assure you that it is not because of what I am feeding my kids. I'm not unrealistic with them. I do not expect them to eat stuffed mushrooms and quinoa. I know they are kids. I work very hard to combine items they like with items that are healthy. Tonight, for example, we had a very "normal" meal - roast beef with carrots and turnips (which taste like potatoes, but with less starch) and brown rice for me, noodles for the boys. There's nothing exotic about that meal at all. Andrew ate nothing. Jacob ate the noodles and then told me that my beef was "a little loose on taste." What? The hell it was! It was delicious - a plain and simple, traditional chuck roast, which was extremely tender and flavorful! What does he know!?
Sometimes Jake will put up fuss and pretend to gag, which really makes me mad, but most of the time, he doesn't even bother protesting. Today he pushed his food around and then handed me the half eaten meal and said, "can I save this for later?" Oh, you betcha, honey. No dessert and no snack, until you whip that baby out of the fridge and finish your dinner. I'll gladly save it for you, thanks for asking.
Andrew, on the other hand, is the true irritant at meals. Not only does he refuse to eat what I have made, but he also behaves like a true cave-child. He digs his fork into the grout on the table, pushes his plate all over the table and sometimes spits his food out. He pitches a fit if food falls off of his fork. He stands on the side of the chairs, despite repeated attempts to direct him to sit properly. If someone gets up out of their seat, he hurriedly jumps into that chair and starts wreaking havoc on their meal. He sticks his hands into their drinks. He grabs the salt and pepper, the ketchup, containers of food and shoves them around the table. He's like a child possessed.
I have tried saying, "Please sit nicely at the table." I have tried, "If you are not hungry, then go watch TV." He inevitably returns to the table. He wants to cause trouble. It's fun for him. I have even removed him and placed him in his crib (the only place he amazingly hasn't been able to get out of yet) for a few minutes, gone back, asked if he was ready to eat nicely and tried again, only to do the same thing over and over and over. Greg has even regressed to feeding Andrew, although he is fully capable of doing it himself.
I'm not sure how to remedy the situation. I have yet to find a mode of discipline that works on Andrew. Sometimes I think these blog entries make him sound like some kind of maniac. He's not always like that. In fact, a large part of the problem is simply the atmosphere: he's great when he's alone, or with any child other than Jacob. When Jacob enters the picture, Andrew wants to terrorize. He gets a great thrill out of showing off around and pestering his brother, and Jacob feeds into that behavior. It's very tiring.
I try to tell myself one of my own favorite quotes, "The days are long, but the years are short." I know that some day I will miss these days of their childhood and long to relive them. I love my children deeply, as only a parent can, and I truly don't want to rush any part of our lives together. I know I will miss them terribly when they go off to college, but honestly, I'm also looking forward to the time when Greg and I can sit together in peace and eat a decent meal.
Sometimes Jake will put up fuss and pretend to gag, which really makes me mad, but most of the time, he doesn't even bother protesting. Today he pushed his food around and then handed me the half eaten meal and said, "can I save this for later?" Oh, you betcha, honey. No dessert and no snack, until you whip that baby out of the fridge and finish your dinner. I'll gladly save it for you, thanks for asking.
Andrew, on the other hand, is the true irritant at meals. Not only does he refuse to eat what I have made, but he also behaves like a true cave-child. He digs his fork into the grout on the table, pushes his plate all over the table and sometimes spits his food out. He pitches a fit if food falls off of his fork. He stands on the side of the chairs, despite repeated attempts to direct him to sit properly. If someone gets up out of their seat, he hurriedly jumps into that chair and starts wreaking havoc on their meal. He sticks his hands into their drinks. He grabs the salt and pepper, the ketchup, containers of food and shoves them around the table. He's like a child possessed.
I have tried saying, "Please sit nicely at the table." I have tried, "If you are not hungry, then go watch TV." He inevitably returns to the table. He wants to cause trouble. It's fun for him. I have even removed him and placed him in his crib (the only place he amazingly hasn't been able to get out of yet) for a few minutes, gone back, asked if he was ready to eat nicely and tried again, only to do the same thing over and over and over. Greg has even regressed to feeding Andrew, although he is fully capable of doing it himself.
I'm not sure how to remedy the situation. I have yet to find a mode of discipline that works on Andrew. Sometimes I think these blog entries make him sound like some kind of maniac. He's not always like that. In fact, a large part of the problem is simply the atmosphere: he's great when he's alone, or with any child other than Jacob. When Jacob enters the picture, Andrew wants to terrorize. He gets a great thrill out of showing off around and pestering his brother, and Jacob feeds into that behavior. It's very tiring.
I try to tell myself one of my own favorite quotes, "The days are long, but the years are short." I know that some day I will miss these days of their childhood and long to relive them. I love my children deeply, as only a parent can, and I truly don't want to rush any part of our lives together. I know I will miss them terribly when they go off to college, but honestly, I'm also looking forward to the time when Greg and I can sit together in peace and eat a decent meal.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Give It Up
I have been thinking about giving up refined carbohydrates for Lent. Is that crazy? Lent is twice as long as the purification program, and I wouldn't have Greg doing it along with me for support. Plus, I cheated during the purification program this year. I didn't even make it the full 21 days without a bite of chocolate! (I didn't cheat the year prior, though, for what it's worth!) It would be incredibly difficult to give up refined carbs for 40 days, but then again, isn't that the point of Lent? My friend Janet recently said to me (in reference to smoking),"the craving will pass whether you do it or not, so don't do it." That is true for any craving. It will pass, and in surviving a craving without giving in, we gain strength - strength from believing in ourselves, in our will power, and in our ability to channel God to help us through our darker hours.
When I was younger, I chose my Lenten sacrifice according to what I thought would impact me the least. What could I "give up" and not miss. I even attempted to relinquish my chores in the name of Lent several times to no avail. Isn't it very human to take the path of least resistance? But now, as an adult who is fully capable of contemplating the sacrifices of Christ, would it be conscionable for me to chose the easy road?
In our church bulletin this Sunday, there was an excerpt written by Paul Turner. It read: "A good Lent can really make you miserable. You give up things you enjoy. You do without excesses. You practice charity to people you'd rather ignore...You break your routine...But a good Lent can really make you happy. You find out what your cravings are. You strongly put them aside because your craving for God is deeper. God responds to your search and rewards you with a closer union. You end the season more comfortable at prayer, move giving to others, less attached to material things. It's a great season, but it's not for wimps."
Likewise, Father Gardener writes: "Do you sense that a good spring cleaning is in order?...Lent helps us to clean out the clutter. It gets us to put our life in order so that we can see what is truly important. Lent has us turn away from the disorder, the confusion, the broken relationships and the failure to love which is sin. It's calls us to hear anew and commit ourself again to the freeing "Good News" of the Gospel. We look at life, we turn around and we think anew about what is good, true and beautiful."
I have thought about those two statements quite a bit over the last two days, as well as what this year's Lenten season means to me. I have been struck with the gift of contemplation lately, and I believe that need for reflection is God calling me, whispering a lesson for me to learn. I have thought about Tom, about Corky, about what their lives and deaths mean to me. I can't say that I am suffering in the traditional sense of the word, but I am aware of their deaths and likewise equally as aware of my own life and how I am living it. It is easy to say that God is good during times of well-being, but I believe that it is during times of discontent when we are truly able to feel his presence. If we turn to God for strength and guidance instead of blaming, questioning or wallowing, we can transform periods of famine into spiritual abundance.
OK, it is a stretch to liken abstaining from carbohydrates for a little over a month to intense suffering and sacrifice. But for most of us, Lent is much more symbolic than literal. We could never duplicate the sacrifice that Jesus made for us when he died at Calvary, but nonetheless, I believe we can take the lessons learned from these exercises in faith and apply them to our lives exponentially. If it feels so difficult to exercise the will power and self control necessary to turn down a cookie, then how can I deny the enormity of Jesus laying down His life for the world? When we are truly cognizant of the sacrifices that God and Jesus made for us, we are better people.
Like I said, my thoughts are revolving a lot around the awareness of God's presence in my daily life. While I try to be considerate of others, I know that sometimes I am not as attentive as I should be. I do not always exercise self control, I often lose my temper (especially with my children), and I can become absorbed in my own perceived internal discord. I don't always treat others with charity, especially those people who I do not like or who I feel have wronged me. I do not always try to put myself in other's shoes before judging them. My awareness of God's blessings could use some refining.
The saying "knowledge is half the battle" comes to mind now. In being aware of my short comings, I have the opportunity to strengthen myself and my relationship with God. The priest at Tom's funeral said that a man can say that every day is a good day to live or a good day to die, if he has lived a life which was mindful in the eyes of the Lord. How true this statement is! If we live in God's image, and act as he wants us to act, instead of how we selfishly see fit, then when we come upon our day of reckoning, we have no regrets. I already feel this way on a much smaller level, day to day. On the days when I am short tempered, selfish and impulsive, I often feel pangs of regret when I reflect on my day. I don't sleep. I feel guilty. Likewise, when I spend the day being aware of my blessings, and acting with patience and kindness, I go to bed with peace of mind. I may not sleep well (because I never sleep well), but at least I lay awake with a clean conscience!
Now, I don't think it's possible for a person to make it the entire way through life with no regrets. Nor do I think it's possible for any of us to always act as Jesus would. We all have our short comings, but God's love transcends our sins. He loves even those of us who we might deem unlovable. My friend Marsha shared some of a sermon from her church a few weeks ago: "Most of you think you are probably pretty good and kind and doing God's will...and you probably are...but God does not love you any more than the most awful person...he loves us all the same...and he called us to love the hard to love, because it is easy to love the lovable..." Just as he sacrificed all, he forgives all. What an enormous thought to ponder - to love the unlovable, to forgive all. Lent is the season in which we reflect whole-heartedly on that love, clear our consciences, and refresh ourselves spiritually. In choosing to abstain from something we dear to us, we bring the knowledge of God's love for us to the foreground of our thoughts. Each time I think about eating chocolate, and choose not to act on that desire, I am reminded of God, His love and His sacrifice, and I reinforce my relationship with Him.
It wouldn't be entirely honest to say that my sole motivation for giving up refined carbohydrates is to get closer to God. Limiting carbs, as you all know, is a huge part of my healthy eating soap box. Again, as you all know, sweets are particularly hard for me to resist. I believe that taking care of our bodies is an obligation as a Christian. This is the biggest earthly gift God has given us, and to treat it any way other than with the utmost care is to show a blatant lack of respect and appreciation to God. In order to be the best person possible, to give as much as we can, we need to take care of ourselves first and foremost. Without our health, much of our good intentions go unfulfilled. As Father Gardener said, this is a time to learn what is truly important. What is more important than our health, both physically and spiritually?
The purification program was my jumping board to get back on track and eating right. Lent will stand as a reinforcer, giving me additional motivation beyond bodily health, to keep me on track, to help me show appreciation for my blessings as well as to help me to gain at least a smidgen of understanding of the true meaning of sacrifice.
So, I suppose my mind is made up. Tomorrow will be my last day to gobble down that chocolate cake with chocolate icing that Jacob and Mom made for my birthday. After that, I will do my best to eliminate any carbohydrate that is not naturally derived. No processed foods. No bread or pasta. No sweets. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, here I go!
When I was younger, I chose my Lenten sacrifice according to what I thought would impact me the least. What could I "give up" and not miss. I even attempted to relinquish my chores in the name of Lent several times to no avail. Isn't it very human to take the path of least resistance? But now, as an adult who is fully capable of contemplating the sacrifices of Christ, would it be conscionable for me to chose the easy road?
In our church bulletin this Sunday, there was an excerpt written by Paul Turner. It read: "A good Lent can really make you miserable. You give up things you enjoy. You do without excesses. You practice charity to people you'd rather ignore...You break your routine...But a good Lent can really make you happy. You find out what your cravings are. You strongly put them aside because your craving for God is deeper. God responds to your search and rewards you with a closer union. You end the season more comfortable at prayer, move giving to others, less attached to material things. It's a great season, but it's not for wimps."
Likewise, Father Gardener writes: "Do you sense that a good spring cleaning is in order?...Lent helps us to clean out the clutter. It gets us to put our life in order so that we can see what is truly important. Lent has us turn away from the disorder, the confusion, the broken relationships and the failure to love which is sin. It's calls us to hear anew and commit ourself again to the freeing "Good News" of the Gospel. We look at life, we turn around and we think anew about what is good, true and beautiful."
I have thought about those two statements quite a bit over the last two days, as well as what this year's Lenten season means to me. I have been struck with the gift of contemplation lately, and I believe that need for reflection is God calling me, whispering a lesson for me to learn. I have thought about Tom, about Corky, about what their lives and deaths mean to me. I can't say that I am suffering in the traditional sense of the word, but I am aware of their deaths and likewise equally as aware of my own life and how I am living it. It is easy to say that God is good during times of well-being, but I believe that it is during times of discontent when we are truly able to feel his presence. If we turn to God for strength and guidance instead of blaming, questioning or wallowing, we can transform periods of famine into spiritual abundance.
OK, it is a stretch to liken abstaining from carbohydrates for a little over a month to intense suffering and sacrifice. But for most of us, Lent is much more symbolic than literal. We could never duplicate the sacrifice that Jesus made for us when he died at Calvary, but nonetheless, I believe we can take the lessons learned from these exercises in faith and apply them to our lives exponentially. If it feels so difficult to exercise the will power and self control necessary to turn down a cookie, then how can I deny the enormity of Jesus laying down His life for the world? When we are truly cognizant of the sacrifices that God and Jesus made for us, we are better people.
Like I said, my thoughts are revolving a lot around the awareness of God's presence in my daily life. While I try to be considerate of others, I know that sometimes I am not as attentive as I should be. I do not always exercise self control, I often lose my temper (especially with my children), and I can become absorbed in my own perceived internal discord. I don't always treat others with charity, especially those people who I do not like or who I feel have wronged me. I do not always try to put myself in other's shoes before judging them. My awareness of God's blessings could use some refining.
The saying "knowledge is half the battle" comes to mind now. In being aware of my short comings, I have the opportunity to strengthen myself and my relationship with God. The priest at Tom's funeral said that a man can say that every day is a good day to live or a good day to die, if he has lived a life which was mindful in the eyes of the Lord. How true this statement is! If we live in God's image, and act as he wants us to act, instead of how we selfishly see fit, then when we come upon our day of reckoning, we have no regrets. I already feel this way on a much smaller level, day to day. On the days when I am short tempered, selfish and impulsive, I often feel pangs of regret when I reflect on my day. I don't sleep. I feel guilty. Likewise, when I spend the day being aware of my blessings, and acting with patience and kindness, I go to bed with peace of mind. I may not sleep well (because I never sleep well), but at least I lay awake with a clean conscience!
Now, I don't think it's possible for a person to make it the entire way through life with no regrets. Nor do I think it's possible for any of us to always act as Jesus would. We all have our short comings, but God's love transcends our sins. He loves even those of us who we might deem unlovable. My friend Marsha shared some of a sermon from her church a few weeks ago: "Most of you think you are probably pretty good and kind and doing God's will...and you probably are...but God does not love you any more than the most awful person...he loves us all the same...and he called us to love the hard to love, because it is easy to love the lovable..." Just as he sacrificed all, he forgives all. What an enormous thought to ponder - to love the unlovable, to forgive all. Lent is the season in which we reflect whole-heartedly on that love, clear our consciences, and refresh ourselves spiritually. In choosing to abstain from something we dear to us, we bring the knowledge of God's love for us to the foreground of our thoughts. Each time I think about eating chocolate, and choose not to act on that desire, I am reminded of God, His love and His sacrifice, and I reinforce my relationship with Him.
It wouldn't be entirely honest to say that my sole motivation for giving up refined carbohydrates is to get closer to God. Limiting carbs, as you all know, is a huge part of my healthy eating soap box. Again, as you all know, sweets are particularly hard for me to resist. I believe that taking care of our bodies is an obligation as a Christian. This is the biggest earthly gift God has given us, and to treat it any way other than with the utmost care is to show a blatant lack of respect and appreciation to God. In order to be the best person possible, to give as much as we can, we need to take care of ourselves first and foremost. Without our health, much of our good intentions go unfulfilled. As Father Gardener said, this is a time to learn what is truly important. What is more important than our health, both physically and spiritually?
The purification program was my jumping board to get back on track and eating right. Lent will stand as a reinforcer, giving me additional motivation beyond bodily health, to keep me on track, to help me show appreciation for my blessings as well as to help me to gain at least a smidgen of understanding of the true meaning of sacrifice.
So, I suppose my mind is made up. Tomorrow will be my last day to gobble down that chocolate cake with chocolate icing that Jacob and Mom made for my birthday. After that, I will do my best to eliminate any carbohydrate that is not naturally derived. No processed foods. No bread or pasta. No sweets. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, here I go!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Return Of The Toilet Fairy
He struck again.
And this time, he left us with something a little extra special - a plastic penguin, hidden under that entire roll of toilet paper, lodged deep within the plumbing, which needed to be snaked out. How thoughtful!Saturday, March 5, 2011
Run For The Roses...
...or something like that! I may not be racing a horse, but our racing season has certainly begun! (For those of you who don't know, the song, Run For The Roses by Dan Folgelberg is about a horse in the Kentucky Derby.) The two months of January and February are over, and that means our lazy weekends are over as well. Goodness, it goes so fast!
This morning I actually slept in a little (6:45). I guess I needed the sleep for the upcoming weekend! I ran close to 7 miles after breakfast, then finished my laundry, vacuumed and mopped the house before heading out with Monique an the kids for a short ice skating excursion. Jacob began taking ice skating lessons about 3 weeks ago, and with the ice skating lessons, we get 4 free skate passes. He's doing amazingly well! Don't get me wrong, we don't have a Sindey Crosby on our hands, but he can hold his own. Most importantly, he enjoys it, and I certainly want to encourage any physical activity that he likes.
After ice skating, we packed up the kiddos and headed up to my mother and father-in-laws for dinner and game night. In typical Williams fashion, the whole fam damily was there! Game nights always get a little wild and crazy, and this one was no different!
Tomorrow, I am opting for a strength training routine and a walk instead of a run, to give my joints a bit of a break. I hate strength training. I always have. I read recently that after the age of 30, the average woman loses 1/2 pound of muscle every year! That's a lot! And, sad to say, I think I fall into the average woman category here. I have always been able to tone up quickly with relatively few weights or crunches, and my abs and arms have always been strong. Not so much these days. My arms are getting flabby, and I can only do a pull up if I cheat and jump a little first. My stomach is super soft. I know, I'm whining, but it's disheartening. I don't like what I see, and regardless of my appearance, a runner needs to have a strong core. A strong stomach and back are necessary to stabilize you during runs and help you to maintain good form and prevent injuries. Like it or not, I need to strength train. We have all the equipment, so I have no excuses. Curls and push-ups, pull-ups and planks, here I come!
After church tomorrow, Jacob and I going to a birthday party for my cousin's son, who just turned 5. Jacob loves any excuse to go to Slinky Action Zone, and I love any excuse to meet up with family!
Then after Jordan's birthday party, my parents are taking us out to eat for my birthday. That concludes the weekend. Sometimes I think our week days are much quieter than the week ends, even with work, school and kids!
Below are some photos from ice skating. These are actually from an ice skating lesson earlier in the week, not from today's skating session, but you get the idea!
Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend, and welcoming the transition to spring! I know we are!
Kiersten's front tooth is so lose, it was literally hanging by a thread of her gums. I offered to yank that baby out, but she couldn't bring herself to let me do it!
Let's get this party started!
Kiersten and Jacob
"Kiersten, I think I'd like to be a Zamboni driver when I grow up. How about you?"Friday, March 4, 2011
What Are You Buying?
Want to see what kinds of effects your favorite products have? My brother-in-law showed me this site, which rates the ethics of tons of products on basis of environment, health and societal impact. Its a totally awesome link. Go search some of your favorite items and see how they measure up. I bet you are surprised by at least a few. Check it out, people, and be mindful of the impact of your decisions!
http://www.goodguide.com/
http://www.goodguide.com/
Worst Interview Ever
Do you ever have random memories just pop into your head? I wonder sometimes if other people think like I do. Sometimes I remember things for a reason, but then there are those times when I'm doing something very routine, not really thinking about anything in particular and I get my own little unprompted blast from the past. That happened to me this morning while putting on my mascara. I thought I'd share it with you. So here you go:
Shortly after Jacob was born, I found myself looking for a new job. I had several interviews during that summer, but this one in particular will always stand out. It was at the local newspaper for an editing position. It was a group interview set-up, so there were probably 3 or 4 staff from the Altoona Mirror in the room. I had purchased a suit and was attempting my best self-presentation when the room was suddenly filled with a putrid stench, the kind that comes from someone who is about to have an attack from a nasty bowel virus. "Ew," I thought. "Someone in this room has a serious gas problem."
Everyone simply continued talking, ignoring the smell, so I followed their lead, but with great difficulty. I didn't want to make someone feel uncomfortable, so I continued to politely answer questions. But then it dawned on me that they may think that it was ME who was the culprit! That when I left my interview, they would all stand around talking about that horrid smell and, with no one wanting to admit to such an embarrassment, they would all assume it was the interviewee who caused it! Oh no! Just the thought that these people who I didn't know, and who I was trying to impress, would think that I would come to an interview and release such foulness made me horribly embarrassed.
The more I thought about it, the more embarrassed I became. I could feel my face getting redder an redder. Even my ears felt like they were on fire. They had to have noticed me blushing, which made it worse, because then I thought that the fact that I was blushing would probably confirm their suspicion that it was me behind the stink! Finally, someone took pity on me and said, "Oh, the nasty part about working at the news paper factory is the smell you get from the printing."
Whew! Of course it was the paper! I live next to a town with a paper mill and it was indeed the exact same smell. I was so relieved...and also so dismayed that I was stupid enough not to figure it out on my own. Amazingly, they offered me the job, but I turned it down. I couldn't work under those conditions!
What's your worst interview experience? Ever have someone put up a stink for you?
Shortly after Jacob was born, I found myself looking for a new job. I had several interviews during that summer, but this one in particular will always stand out. It was at the local newspaper for an editing position. It was a group interview set-up, so there were probably 3 or 4 staff from the Altoona Mirror in the room. I had purchased a suit and was attempting my best self-presentation when the room was suddenly filled with a putrid stench, the kind that comes from someone who is about to have an attack from a nasty bowel virus. "Ew," I thought. "Someone in this room has a serious gas problem."
Everyone simply continued talking, ignoring the smell, so I followed their lead, but with great difficulty. I didn't want to make someone feel uncomfortable, so I continued to politely answer questions. But then it dawned on me that they may think that it was ME who was the culprit! That when I left my interview, they would all stand around talking about that horrid smell and, with no one wanting to admit to such an embarrassment, they would all assume it was the interviewee who caused it! Oh no! Just the thought that these people who I didn't know, and who I was trying to impress, would think that I would come to an interview and release such foulness made me horribly embarrassed.
The more I thought about it, the more embarrassed I became. I could feel my face getting redder an redder. Even my ears felt like they were on fire. They had to have noticed me blushing, which made it worse, because then I thought that the fact that I was blushing would probably confirm their suspicion that it was me behind the stink! Finally, someone took pity on me and said, "Oh, the nasty part about working at the news paper factory is the smell you get from the printing."
Whew! Of course it was the paper! I live next to a town with a paper mill and it was indeed the exact same smell. I was so relieved...and also so dismayed that I was stupid enough not to figure it out on my own. Amazingly, they offered me the job, but I turned it down. I couldn't work under those conditions!
What's your worst interview experience? Ever have someone put up a stink for you?
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Jake takes time out of his special day to bond with the dogs.
Sharing the burden of blowing out the candles.
Jake and Pap
Jelly Bellies and Tequila...the ultimate birthday gift for Pap!
Legos Mars Mission - the ultimate birthday gift!
Mimi's homemade birthday cake is very kind to Pap.