Boy Will Be Boys

I looked in my cell phone today and realized that I have been carrying around an arsenal of things the kids have said for quite some time!  Out of the need to purge my text messages, I'm sharing their thoughts with you.  Here we go!

A little while ago, I said to Andrew, "Andrew, you are a pain in the rear." 
He said, "yeah." 
I said, "Do you know what a rear is?" 
He replied, "Yes." 
"What is a rear?" I asked.
"Williams" he said. 
"Yes, dear.  That's exactly right.  Rear = Williams."
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Andrew is now obsessed with "Toy Story."  His favorite thing to yell as he is running through the house is, "To pinny in eon!" (For those of you unfamiliar with "Toy Story", the correct phrase is "To infinity and beyond!"
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One night while making dinner, I heard Andrew in the living room singing, "Ha. Ha. Ha.  Ha. Stayin' Alive! Stayin' Alive."  Don't most two year olds sing songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, or Mary Had A Little Lamb?  Only our child would sing Bee Gees music while waiting for dinner!
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Jacob is my little worry wart.  While Andrew will scale the railing and jump without looking, Jake is always cautious, always putting safety first.  One day after I picked Jacob up from school, I stopped at Sheetz to get a ginger ale, because my stomach was upset.  I never drink soda, so he was kind of shocked to see me buying it in the first place.  But when I opened it while driving home, he really became concerned.  "Mom, do you think that's safe?" he said.  "What?" I asked.  "Driving while drinking pop.  I mean, it gets all fizzy in your mouth.  Sometimes I have trouble walking and drinking soda.  I don't think you should drink and drive like that!"  Don't worry, folks.  We made it home safe and sound!
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When Andrew is hungry, no matter what time of day it is, he asks for "som'pin a lunch."
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Right before my birthday, Jacob was dying to tell me what my gifts were.  I told him I didn't want to know because I wanted to be surprised.  He said, "Let me just give you one hint.  When you run, you'll be drinking clean water!"  He bought me a water bottle with a carbon filter.  How thoughtful!
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Jacob's classroom was the coldest room in the whole school.  Jake is never cold, but even he was complaining about the chill.  I made sure to always send him with a sweater, but one day he said he didn't want it.  I asked about the temperature in the classroom and he said, "we used to be cold, but now we're cooking like a bunch of sausages!"  Well, I guess that's pretty hot!
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When Andrew sings the song "Some Kind Of Wonderful," instead of singing, "My baby! My baby!"  he yells, "my play dough! my play dough!"
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Jacob is getting ready to make his First Communion at the end of the month.  He and I were talking about his First Confession, which was actually this morning.  He had to miss a Cub Scout event because of the Confession.  "That's OK, Mom.  Confession is more important than planting," he said.

"Yes, it is.  And you need to make your Reconciliation in order to make your First Communion at the end of the month." I said.

"Yes, and you also need to be baptized first."  he said.

"Well," I said, "You were baptized as a baby."

"Yeah,  I know, but I wonder if Andrew went and got himself baptized yet." he said.  (Because it's totally natural to expect a 3 year old to "get himself baptized!)

"Andrew was baptized as a baby, just like you."  I replied.

"Oh," he said.  "Well, I don't think the Catholic in Andrew has grown much yet!"

Poor Andrew.  He gets a bad rap!
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Then today after his Confession, Jake was talking to me about the experience.  "You know, Mom," he said, "I don't think those two boys standing in line in front of me had the Holy Spirit in their hearts."

Trying not to laugh, I said, "What makes your think that?"

"They were hitting each other, and it was hard!  When I tried to break them up, I got hit and it hurt!"
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Andrew is in the midst of potty training.  Yesterday when I went to get a diaper for bed, I couldn't find any.  "That's odd," I thought.  "I just bought a whole pack."  Then I noticed that they had all been stuffed under the changing table. "Andrew, did you put these diapers under the changing table?" I asked.  "Yes," he said, "cause I didn't want them!"  He hid them from me so he wouldn't have to wear them any more!  What a little stinker!
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One day after school, Jake told me he learned about the Angel of Death in religion class. Then he said, "Mom, there's one thing I don't think we'll be learning much about in religion class and that's Hell's Angels!"

He had no idea about the motorcycle gang.  He was actually talking about angels in hell.  I tried explaining it to him, but he thought he was clever, that he just couldn't get beyond his own idea!
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Jacob is taking ice skating lessons.  My niece, Kiersten has also been taking lessons, but she is a good many levels ahead of him.  When he was thinking about how the levels are arranged, Jake said to me, "Mom, Kiersten and I have something in common.  She started at level one and I am starting at level one!"  Yeah...it's uncanny how much alike they are!
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And that, my friends, is all she wrote....for now, anyway!