Oh My Word!

Remember that nap I was so thrilled about yesterday?  Yeah, it's not looking like such a good idea now, when I'm wide awake at 3:30 a.m.  Normally when I can't sleep, I do chores, but I really don't have a whole lot to do that won't make noise and wake the rest of my slumbering family.  Perhaps today is a good day to start that strength training routine that I have been avoiding lately.  I can't use the excuse of not having time!  First things first, though.  Before I can do anything else, I need coffee.  And since I'm up well before the paper boy, the computer is seems to be my seat of choice.  So...what should I blog about today?  Has it been a while since I shared some of the funny things my kids have said?  It seems like it has been.  Let's go with it.  I have a small stockpile saved...

One night I was late getting home because of an evening event at  work.   Greg had to get both of the boys ready for bed, which can sometimes be a chore.  When I came home, Greg told me how surprisingly good Andrew had been.  He said, "He even put his pajamas on and brushed his teeth without a peep."  Now, "peep" is the word Andrew uses for his penis.  When Greg said this, Andrew's jaw dropped, his brow furrowed and he adamantly said, "Dad!  I have a peep! See!"  Then he pulled his PJs down so I could see that it was indeed there.  The lesson?  Don't mess with a boy's peep!

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A few weeks ago, my father in law took Andrew for the day.  They went to Tractor Supply, out to lunch, for a ride up a game lands road on Lock Mountain and then to Ritchey's for ice cream.  Andrew had a wonderful day.  He loved spending the day with his Pap.  Later that evening, I was outside with Andrew and he had to pee.  Being the lazy bathroom attendee that I am, I told him to just go outside.  He said, "Mom, you can pee with me like Pap did."  Um...no thanks, Buddy.  Not that I haven't peed outside, but not in my own yard. The neighbors might frown on that kind of behavior!

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Hollidaysburg is the county seat.  We have a wonderfully historic courthouse down town, which is really only a few blocks from our house.  One day when we were driving by, Andrew pointed at it and yelled, "Mom!  Look at that castle!"  I guess it does look like a castle.  How about that?  A palace practically in our own back yard!

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Both of my boys are nudists at heart.  I'd like to blame this trait on Greg, but honestly, Greg is one of the most modest people you could ever meet.  Unless it is completely appropriate not to be dressed, he is always fully clothed.  It's me, on the other hand, who is a little more relaxed.  I don't often walk around completely naked, but I definitely take my time getting dressed.  Lately, Jacob has been stripping his school uniform off nearly before he is even inside the door in the afternoons.  Every day, I find a trail of clothing, starting with a tie and ending with a pair of pants from my front door, through the kitchen and into the living room, where it ends with him plopped down on the couch.  Aside from the fact that he should be at least putting his clothes in the hamper, it is kind of funny.  Frankly, I feel that way about my work clothes too, and if I had the opportunity, I would probably do the same thing!

Last week, my mother in law was here watching the boys and she was a little surprised by Jacob's state of undress.  When she asked him about it, he said, "Well, I'm getting ready to watch Half Naked Animals.  I thought I should be prepared."  I was unaware that you had to be half naked to watch this show.  Maybe I should rethink his permission to view this particular cartoon!

Then, yesterday during the Steeler party at my in-laws, the kids found an ant hill.  In typical kid fashion, they began to feed an nurture these tiny little creatures.  (I'm sure my in-laws were thrilled about that!)  Jake even had some in a cup with pretzels, grass and dirt to bring home as pets.  (Um...let me think about that...No!)  He was sitting on the ground, playing with the ants, and my sister in law said, "Jake, be careful they don't climb up your shorts."

"No, problem," he said.  "They don't bite, and I'm not wearing any underwear anyway."  I'm not sure what the logic behind his thinking was.  Maybe the lack of underwear made it easier for the ants to escape, and less likely to cause problems?  Or maybe he just wanted to tell someone that he wasn't wearing undies?  Who knows.  All I know is that he went the entire day underwear free. Nice!

While we're on the topic of underwear... one day after school when Jake was in his typically undressed state, he came into the kitchen.   I was chopping veggies and not really looking at him when he spoke.  "Mom," he happily said, "Guess what this shape inside my underwear is?"  Not having a clue what he was talking about, I took a deep breath and considered my response.  But before I could answer, he chimed in with, "it's an iPod eraser! Haha!"  He was holding an eraser in his underwear!  Boys.  There's not much else to be said about that one!  I can assure you that putting items into their underwear is NOT an activity they learned from me!

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Andrew calls a yo-yo a "yo-go."  He also says, "I'm soaping wet."  And lately he has been asking me if things cost "a hundry dollar."  Yesterday he asked my mom if something she bought cost two hundry dollar.  I guess he thought whatever it was, was pretty valuable!

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My boys have polar opposite personalities.  Andrew loves to rock-n-roll, while Jacob generally just tolerates the band.  In the car however, Jacob loves to listen to loud music, while Andrew prefers to keep the radio audible, but not blasting.  Jake always, without fail, asks me to turn the radio up, usually before we even get out of the drive way.  The other day, he asked for more volume, and just to be difficult, Andrew decided he didn't want the music to be louder.  Of course, this all too common disagreement turned into an all out argument, with Andrew eventually yelling, "I don't want the music loud, Jake!  It'll give me brain freeze!"

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Whenever possible, if Greg is home in the evening, I like to soak and read in the tub.  It's 30 minutes of escape from the hectic day.  Plus, it's often the only time I have to read, and I really love a good book.  One night last week, my cell phone rang while I was getting a bath.  I answered, and it was Jacob, calling me from the living room, wanting to know where I was, what I was doing, when I was coming back down stairs, and oh, could he have a brownie?  Good grief!

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Jake joined the swim team at the YMCA.  It's a pretty intense schedule.  He has practice 3 nights a week and swim meets will start in December and go through February.  It's great exercise for him, and he seems to be enjoying it so far.  The other night when I picked him up, I said, "When we get home, you can get a shower to rinse off all that chlorine."

He replied, "I already got a shower at the Y."

"How could you have gotten a shower without soap and shampoo?"

"I just used the bar of soap that was already in the shower."

Deep breath.  Shrug off the heebie jeebies.  "Jake, for future reference, we don't share soap with people we don't know.  I'll buy you some shampoo and soap to take with you, if you prefer to shower at the Y."  God, please don't let him develop with some strange locker room fungus!

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That same night was Hollidaysburg's homecoming.  The Y is right next to the football field, so we could easily hear the band and festivities from the parking lot. Andrew looked over to the game and said excitedly, "Mom!  I think it's a party!"  Jake replied, "Yeah, well, I hope they don't keep that up all night.  I gotta get some sleep!"

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I often shower with Andrew.  It's just easier to wash both of us at the same time. One day while waiting for the water to warm up, he looked my naked body up and down and then said, "Mom, did you eat too much candy?"  Yep.  You can always count on kids to boost your self esteem!

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I had gas perks that were about to expire, so on Friday I went to Martins to redeem them.  Well, I guess everyone's gas perks were about to expire, because there was a nice line for the pumps.  We had time to kill while Jake was swimming, so I didn't mind waiting.  The weather was beautiful, and the windows were down.  We had been waiting for about 10 minutes when a teenage boy who worked for the store walked by pushing a trash can.  The boy had long hair in a pony tail, and Andrew said several times, very loudly, "Mom, is that a boy or a girl?" I tried to change the subject, because I didn't want the kid to feel bad, but my lack of response just made Andrew ask me louder!  Oh, how I wished the windows had been up!

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The cat scratched Jacob's eyelid one day when they were playing.  It was a good scratch, but Jacob is also the drama king.  He can beat your little girl's whines in a heartbeat.  Standing there looking at me with half of his face all scrunched up, and an ice pack on his eye, he said, "Well, mom.  At least I still have one good eye."  Ah, yes.  I guess that's why God gave us two eyes - in case we lose one in battle with a kitten!

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My last little snippet was something that my niece said.  My sister is pregnant with her second baby, and she is due in February.  My niece Ella is thrilled to be having a little sister.  My mom asked her if my sister's belly was getting big and Ella's response was something like, "Not yet.  She didn't grow the head yet, and that's the biggest part of a baby."  She didn't grow the head yet??  Haha!  It's so funny how little ones think!  I love this age.  I wish I could freeze our kids where they are right now.  They're so much fun.

And that, my friends, is all I have for now.  It's now after 5 (I didn't sit and write all of this at once.  I'm a computer grazer...type a little, pack a lunch, type a little, get more coffee, type a little, do some laundry. It's my own version of adult ADD).  Now that I have 8 cups of coffee coursing through my veins, I'm thinking that maybe I should start that strength training routine ....maybe...eh, maybe tomorrow...