Liberty and Justice for All

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.  ~Norm Crosby

Yesterday I had the distinct privilege of witnessing the jury selection process.  I say "witnessing," because I was never even called upon to answer any questions.  I simply sat in the back of a very old (and charming) courthouse, on a very old (and uncomfortable) bench and listened as 24 (or a little more) of my peers trickled through the process.  Let me be honest, I am quite thankful that I was not chosen, but I must also admit that as I watched and listened to the others, I had a slight (slight, mind you) desire to participate.  There's no way I could have been an unbiased participant, however.  It was a case which involved domestic abuse and child endangerment allegations.  In the last 10 years, I have seen too many families I work with, specifically children, who have been victims of abuse and my skin prickles at the very mention of the words.  Nonetheless, I'm grateful that I was able to bear witness to the workings of our legal system...and hopeful that I don't get called again until well into my retirement, when I will undoubtedly be looking for something stimulating to do! 
It wasn't at all what I expected.  I envisioned a much more personalized approach, instead of the assembly-like manner by which they chose the jury.  We spent a lot (and I mean a lot!) of time waiting around, but when the selection was underway, it was fairly efficient.  It was all so very official and authoritarian that none of us dared to speak out of turn or misbehave in any way.  I got the distinct feeling that, although we were supposed to be the ones determining guilt, many of us felt like we ourselves were under the microscope!  While you are in the courtroom, you aren't allowed to do much except pay attention.  This was very hard for me.  I'm a talker, a texter, a note and list writer.  I actually listen better if I can doodle or in some way occupy my need to fidget (I know how annoying that is for other people and how rude can seem.  Sorry, sometimes I appear to be much more of a jerk than I really am). I also can't help but come up with all kinds of inappropriate commentary during situations when I am supposed to act properly, and it's even worse when I can't share those thoughts with others.  It made me nearly nuts not to be able to send a text to Greg about something ridiculous I saw someone doing, saying or wearing. But alas, I made it through, and since I wasn't able to make one of my beloved lists, I was only able to remember a few of my thoughts from the course of the day.  Here's what I came up with:

• Criers get out of jury duty easier than anybody.  I saw three women actually leave the courtroom in visible tears, two of them nearly sobbing.   Seriously?  What the heck?  I wish I could cry on cue, because that seems to be a very valuable skill.  Unfortunately, instead of crying, I tend to think of inappropriate responses or, in extreme circumstances, resort to throwing things.  OK, I haven't thrown anything in a while...that I remember...but my mouth, well, my mouth gets me into trouble often.  Actually, I find it highly annoying when women start crying at the drop of a hat.  There are times when crying is suitable, but it's way overused and it leads to stereotypes of hysterical women who lack control over their emotions. Jury selection is one of those inappropriate times.  Get a grip, ladies! 
• I truly hope that the man with the uncontrollable cough was a chain smoker, because if not, I'm pretty sure we are all going to die from H1N1 in approximately 48 hours.  I mean, really people, if you have a cough so bad that you can't be still for more than 30 seconds at a time and you practically vomit with each coughing fit, STAY HOME!  He was sitting directly behind me, hacking and hacking and hacking until finally he got called to the front to be questioned for the jury.  (Thank GOD!) While he was seated behind me, the more he coughed, the more anxiety I felt.  My eyes felt itchy, but I didn't dare touch any area on my body that could be a portal to germs (eyes, ears, nose, mouth), which was maddening, because when you have an itch you can't scratch, that's all you can think about!  At one point, I even considered holding my breath or using my shirt as a respiratory filter, because I could actually visualize his particalized germs navigating through the courtroom atmosphere, weaseling their way into our unsuspecting bodies!  (OK, I have issues.  I can't help it.  You love me anyway, and you know it!) 
• Jury selection is a good time to catch up with old pals!  I ran into three people I hadn't seen for quite a while.  One woman was a coworker who I hadn't seen for probably 6 or 7 years.  She was so sweet and even insisted that I had lost weight since we last spoke. In reality, I've gained about 10 pounds, but hey, I'll take any compliment I can get these days!  

So, there you have it, my assessment of the day.   I am grateful for having had the opportunity to witness the system.  I am even more grateful for escaping the selection, and I am most grateful for my old co-worker, Bonnie, who said I looked thinner than I did 7 years ago!  She was my best friend for the day!