At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
-- Albert Schweitzer
I have been told that I have an old soul. Perhaps it's true, perhaps its not. I think it depends on the situation. I am certain, however, that I give that impression at times because of the countless hours that I spent with my grandmother and her "gang." Much like Jacob shadows my mom at every opportunity, I was my grandmother's number one tag-along. I have so many fond memories of times with Gram, my great aunt Carmen, and my cousins Lucie and Corky. I loved sitting in on their gossip sessions, watching them play games, listening to their banter and laughter. Although I'm sure they didn't see me as a peer, I always felt like I was just one of the girls. I loved all of these women with a passion that I didn't fully recognize until I was grown. I have been tremendously blessed just to know them, each one of them passing along her own special gift to me. But of them all (next to my grandmother, of course), I have always loved my aunt Carmen the most.
To me, Carmen was my kindred spirit. She was artsy and creative, kind and fun. She was the only other person in this world who loved cats as much as I did, besides my sister. When we first moved to Hollidaysburg, I used to walk to her house to feed and play with her pets. Whether she was home or not, the door would be open and I would let myself in and be entertained by Patches the cat and Blue the dog. And if Carmen was home, I could count on some kind of sweet treat for myself too!
Once when I was in first grade, my grandmother took me visiting with her. It was after school, because I vividly remember wearing my catholic school dress. We visited in Lucie's kitchen. (Permit me a slight tangent here - Lucie's kitchen is one of those rooms that automatically comes to mind when I think of childhood comfort. Cozy and clean, full of loved ones, persevering over decades, a gathering place for family and friends. If you aren't sitting on Lucie and Joe's patio or at the pool, there's simply nowhere better to go than her kitchen. With a cup of coffee and a smoke, it's one of my favorite places to be!)
Anyway, back to the story...We were visiting in Lucie's kitchen. Carmen was sitting in the seat by the window, Lucie was in the middle of the table, and my grandmother was sitting opposite Carmen, near the dining room entry way. I had told my grandmother several times that I didn't feel well, but she wasn't quite listening. Before long, I vomited all over Lucie's kitchen table and all over my grandmother. Gram, being such a calm and comforting woman, yelled at me, "Christ! You like Carmen so damn much! Why the hell weren't standing beside her!" Yep. I think I get my consolation skills from my grandmother! But she was right, I did like Carmen, so much that I didn’t vomit on her!
I have kept that deep love for her through the years. Since moving home after Jacob’s birth, Carmen has been a constant source of inspiration and support for me. I have absolutely cherished getting to know her as an adult and as a friend, not just as my cat-loving great aunt. In her life she has faced some hurdles that would give any woman nightmares. She lost a baby to SIDS when he was just a few weeks old. Several years ago, she suffered a major event that left her paralyzed from the waist down, and shortly thereafter lost another son suddenly and unexpectedly in his early 40’s. How any mother recovers from the loss of a child is beyond my comprehension, let alone two children. I know in many ways, she hasn’t recovered, but she has persevered nonetheless. She even faced her paralysis with tireless determination and dignity. Many people would have either allowed such life circumstances to make them bitter and angry, or would have become despondent and given up. Not Carmen. Sure, she acknowledges her sadness, but she has never lost sight of her life’s blessings, and she always conveys a positive outlook for the future. She is the most selfless person I know. She lives with strong faith, deep reflection and great drive. She is a true inspiration, and I am doubly blessed to call this woman both my aunt and my friend.
Carmen and Corky posed for a commercial for a local furniture store. I absolutely love this photo. They both looks so 50's chic!
Christmas, 2009
New Year's Eve, 2010. Who better to bring in the new year with than our most cherished family and friends!
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